Stefan's profile at Help.com

User Involvement

Stefan's Top (1) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) i need a bit of help.
  

  You don’t need to change who you are, just the way you feel.
  
  - written 5 years, 7 months ago – voted for by lu2007

Last 5 Replies – All 18 replies »

• Sexual abused?
  

  Pamark, is spot on, you need to be rid of him, he is raping and abusing you as you have not consented. If you let the relationship continue he will only get worse and you will find it harder to leave. I disagree slightly with Anonymous, i would only need to answer yes to one of those in the list to know that things are not alright and it is time to do something about it. Not all males are the same, so find a guy who is sensitive to your needs and who also wants a loving and balanced relationship.
  - written 5 years, 7 months ago

• How do you get over a fear of doctors?
  

  I am not afraid of gong to see the Doctor as such but i am very apprehensive about doing it. I have little confidence in me being able to express my needs clearly and in them giving me enough time to properly diagnose whatever i am seeing them for. I am anxious when blurting out the reason for my visit as they seem trite when i am there and for some miraculous reason the symptoms seem to vaporise in the waiting room. Like you i am sure that they misread my symptoms (sometime psychological after an encounter with mild depression) and i feel that i am taking up precious time as the clock is ticking. I still have a problem that i would like to discuss with a doctor but i am not confident in doing it anymore after a couple of failed attempts to do so. My suggested answer to your question is to find a doctor that you can trust and communicate with, build a relationship based on warts and all (and share your misgivings about going to see them and how you are fearful). A good doctor will be able to put you at ease in the wink of an eye. But i am still looking for this person but i haven’t given up either. So ask your friends if they have a doctor that they can relate to and follow someone’s recommendation. We don’t take our cars to a mechanic that we don’t know or trust why do we blindly do it with a doctor. If you are female then find a female doctor, this may help. Good luck and keep searching.
  - written 5 years, 7 months ago

• Where does this, “once a cheater always a cheater” crap come from?
  

  My experience with this is that if a guy cheats, its because he is a bas****. If a woman cheats, its because her partner is a bas**** or he is pathetic or no good.
  - written 5 years, 7 months ago

• Where does this, “once a cheater always a cheater” crap come from?
  

  When was married, my partner cheated on me. We had 2 and a 4 year old. She cheated with a married man. She said is was safer this way (no commitment). It was a long time ago but it was devastating and surreal experience. The interesting thing was that it was the power i allowed her to have over me (what can i do to make it right) and the cred it gave her in the eyes of her friends. I left and fortunately managed to parent my children, albeit spasmodically (why did i leave - another male/female thing) I am sure there are many with similar stories so forgive me if i scoff at the men versus women argument. We are both just as capable of doing it (some of my male friends have sadly done it to). Does it really matter who cheats more?
  - written 5 years, 7 months ago

• my laptop’s hard drive got damaged.
  

  You need an someone who knows what they are doing to have a look at it and see how bad the damage is. It might be recoverable but it also may not. I run a backup program such as Acronis True Image (or Nortons) to backup my whole computer to an external hard drive. I have had an crash and i lost my hard drive but fortunately i was able to restore everything to exactly the way it was with the software on a new hard drive. It is worth the investment and gives you peace of mind.
  - written 5 years, 7 months ago

Stefan's conversations are tagged:

Person, anxiety, Experience, fear, Side, Heart rate, scared, male, sadness, Trivia, Urticaria, statistic, life, COMEFROM, fainting, Extreme, New Year, Crap, Doctor, change, Yesterday, Hard disk, Symptom, matter, trouble