shione's reply history at Help.com

If you are in pain, then I would say go for the breast reduction. I against cosmetic surgery but but I don’t see breast reduction to reduce pain as cosmetic.. I really wish you luck.
I totally relate to you about feeling fat and it affecting relationships. It’s so hard to stay firm and try to love yourself as you are when most of the world is telling you to change.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” — ee cummings

But in my opinion, every time we give in and diet, we damage our self-esteem further because we are validating the idea that we aren’t good enough. Also, every time we diet, we lose the chance to be an inspiration for another woman struggling to love themselves. We were talking about Kate Winslet, Alanis on another post. These women inspire us to love ourselves as we are. I want to inspire my friends not drag them down into feeling not good enough (I don’t mean this in a preachy way.. I know how hard it is)

I think.. we should question the beauty standards we are being bombarded with, I think we should surround ourselves with role-models of all different sizes who are healthy to remind us beauty isn’t a size and learn our own beauty through theirs.

You are beautiful. Keep fighting.

[quote Leah][quote Florence1987]what u like about marliyn monroe and kate winslet?[/quote]Source: Ceruleanbutterfly.comMarilyn MonroeMarilyn is undoubtedly an American legend - actress, singer, model, and sex symbol. However, like most women, she was not absurdly skinny. Many people - myself included - are suprised to know that this blonde bombshell was a size 16! By the standards of Hollywood today, she would be hard-pressed to get a bit-part let alone grow to be a Hollywood icon.Incredible curves like hers don’t come with a size 2 or 4 - at least not without extensive plastic surgery on the breasts, hips, and butt.The idea that Marilyn’s size would be unacceptable in Hollywood these days is a testament to modern society’s emphasis on thinness as the true measure of beauty, and feminists frequently site this as an example of the media’s poor message to girls about body size.Kate Winslet“Acting is about being honest. Ultimately, the audience doesn’t love you or want to be with you because of what your face looks like or the size of your backside. They’ve got to love you because of the honesty within your soul.” ~ Kate WinsletFor her role for Titanic, Kate Winslet lost 15 lbs - and was asked to lose 10 more! When she showed up at the Golden Globes Award ceremony about 15 pounds heavier than her character Rose, a tidal wave of publicity hit. Lose weight, Kate, the critics slammed. She came right back at them.”This is me. Like it or lump it. I had to starve myself for Titanic and it just wasn’t me. I’m not a twig and I refuse to be one.”In a world full of size 1 starlets, voluptuous Winslet is like a breath of fresh air. “I’m happy with the way I am,” she said, “I’m not like American film stars. I’m naturally curvy.”She was the first to urge young girls to celebrate themselves, just the way they are. “I feel my responsibility is to say to young women who are in turmoil about their weight: Life is short, and it’s here to be lived.”[/quote]

Kate Winslet is so inspiring! I love that she said at the end! Thankyou for posting.

“The CDC admits that this formula is misleading… BMI does not factor in muscle mass, and using only height and weight variables to determine obesity provides ambiguous results. For example, actor Bruce Willis is 6’0 ft tall and weighs 211 lbs. This gives him a BMI of 28.6, putting him well into the “overweight” category. Michael Jordan just reaches the overweight mark: his BMI is 25. California’s muscle-bound Governor Schwarzenegger would have broken the obesity mark at his competition weight of 235 lbs, and especially today at his politician weight of about 260 lbs.” — http://www.commonwealthfoundation.org…

“‘This overweight category of body mass index of 25 to 29.9 is a phony category. It doesn’t have medical justification,’ says Paul Campos, JD, a law professor and author of The Diet Myth: Why America’s Obsession with Weight Is Hazardous to Your Health.
Campos says the BMI was developed as a statistical sorting tool for researchers and was never meant as a gauge for weight loss.
‘It just doesn’t make sense,’ he says, pointing to muscular celebrities such as Matthew McConaughey and Brad Pitt, who he says would be considered too heavy based on their BMI numbers.” — http://aolsvc.health.webmd.aol.com/co…

I am so sickened by the way they are using Britney Spears’ unhappiness to sell tabloids. It is very clear that Britney Spears is not fat.. but importantly, what if she were overweight? Would that be so bad. Is there anything intrinsically wrong with being ‘fat’? Would be we fat-phobic as a society if it wasn’t for the media-garbage? The body mass index used as a measure of health (tells you whether you are underweight, healthy weight, overweight etc.) is totally flawed. You can be healthy and fat. Health is about eating the correct foods, exercising regularly and such. You could be fat and healthy.

[quote Florence1987]yeh. the best that can be done is move country lol. I think its better to hang out with those who won’t have anything to do with it. the less i have involvement with it, the better i feel. i also look at media images which are more realistic. u know alanis morissette? she is so natural in her music videos its great. i always feel better after seeing her. shes so beautiful in a natural way. *sighs*[/quote]

where would you move though? This is a global problem. Yes, Alanis is very inspiring! We need more women like her.

[quote Florence1987]makes me angry though that they constantly sell stuff like that though. it does people more harm than good. and creates a ‘perfect’ world that ceases to exist. but they know it grabs peoples attention because its nothing like reality.[/quote]

Yeah. The advertising agencies know that if they send out a barrage of negative messages, women will start to hate themselves, which will cause them to ‘need’ their products to be beautiful. Then women buy the products and it doesn’t turn them into the ideal they see all the time (because nothing can, most of those women are photoshopped) which makes their self-esteem worse, they want more products and so the cycle continues.

I find it so depressing that most women I know will not leave the house without makeup (Unfortunately, myself included) WHY ARE WE ASHAMED OF OUR REAL FACES, argh? how much money do women waste on this, how much time do they spend worrying? I’m not against all makeup of course.. it can be used creatively and expressively, but most often it is not.

[quote Florence1987]yeh, i have the same problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im really sensitive to it!
i try to ignore it but there are times when i don’t and the slightest things really ruin my self esteem.[/quote]

It’s so hard to ignore it 24/7, especially when there are so few people who don’t just accept it blindly. One of the most helpful things for me is to have people in my life who also challenge it. If you want to talk about it more, I’m here.

I am the author of the post.. I am surprised at how kind you have been towards me. I posted not expecting anyone to take my hyperactive sounding post seriously. I’m really grateful for all the warm replies.

Thankyou