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• My wife of 13 yrs just told me she is filing papers for a divorce.
  

  A letter I wrote to my bipolar husband of 9 years…
  
  I’m sitting here at 12:04AM. Just sitting, I asked you to take your medicine and you wouldn’t. I know it is the only hope of saving this family, and you are refusing to do a simple thing like that. You say I’m pushing you about it too much, but all I did was remind you to take it. So you say Im ********, I say Im not and you say if you say so and you roll over and go to bed. I get up because you have upset me again. You have been gone all day from 5:00AM until 11:30PM and I made you supper and cleaned the house and you didn’t notice or care. You spent eighteen hours away today, working on helping somebody else with something they needed or wanted – you haven’t even seen your kids today, or talked to me other then on the phone to be an *** and push me away so you could hang up and get back to hanging out with Brian. I think I just gave up caring, live your life the way you want I don’t want to care anymore…but I do, why?…I don’t even know why…I am your yo-yo. You pull me in and push me away, you love me, you hate me, you want me, you don’t want me, you say we’ve never had a marriage and sex was never good anyway…then you tell me you don’t want anybody else…then you tell me you can’t stand me…then you tell me you just don’t want to fight anymore and you don’t want to leave…you make love to me one day and the next you are telling me you don’t care to make love to me. You tell me to take your medicine because you don’t want to. You say your upset because I don’t give you sex enough then you tell me you don’t want to have sex with me. You help me all week with the kids and the house, getting along, telling me you love me and then Friday you come home from work late again and get an attitude with me because Brian was here. You work all day with him Friday night, then Saturday night then are nice because you want to go to Ripley – even telling me you want me to go too. So you go and you don’t talk to me all day, I call to ask you if you will be home for supper and you don’t even let me ask you because you are ******** that I called you. Then you stay gone until 11:30 at night when I was in bed. What do you want from me? What do you want from this family? You say you want it but show you don’t, and sometimes you even say you don’t want it. How am I supposed to feel with all you say and do? What should I believe? Why is this happening now right after Sequoyah was just born? What am I doing that is making you so unhappy? What can I do to make you happy? All I want for you to do is put your family and wife first – to be loved – is that too much to ask of you? You’re making me go crazy, I don’t even know what to think or what to do, I can’t concentrate on school, on the house, on anything…Help me help us to be happy….please…
  
  
  I completly understand what you are going through…and am still going through it, what do you do?
  - written 10 months, 3 weeks ago

little_red_troubl's conversations are tagged:

marriage, Love, April, divorce, addiction, heart, broken, Falling, Has Been, Problem