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Last 5 Posts Authored

• I just want to take control of something in my life. posted (3 months) ago
  why can’t they let me go? i love them so much, but once i’m gone, i never wanna come b…

• i know you must be disappointed with me, but that’s nothing compared to how much i hate myself. posted (5 months) ago
  i know you want to teach me a lesson, but that’s nothing compared to what i do to myself out o…

• I don’t quite believe i’ll live to my 18th birthday. posted (5 months, 2 weeks) ago
  too many things are happening too fast and i have a bad feeling about this. i’ve been very p…

• I look to the left and i can’t stand myself, I look to the right and I love the world - I look in the middle and think i must be insane. posted (7 months) ago
  augh everything is so difficult and confusing. i know it’s not supposed to be this way, but …

• thanks posted (9 months, 3 weeks) ago
  thanks…

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Last 5 Replies – All 40 replies »

• I just want to take control of something in my life.
  

  [quote Nutmeg]Don’t worry… lots of people have these thoughts that feel irrepressible and overwhelming. The only important thing is whether or not you can control them. If you hurt someone, then that would be your fault, because you let these thoughts out… but you can control them. You CAN, even if it seems impossible.
  This IS the real you, the one that you make yourself. I have bad thoughts, too, I imagine hurting people in my life, I imagine horrible things… but its my OWN decision not to do these things. As long as I am strong enough not to let them out, I am a good person. You know whats right and what’s wrong… therefore you kjnow what not to do, right?
  If its this hard, I would suggest going to a psychiatrist. They might be able to help you get rid of whatever is causing the bad thoughts. If you don’t feel that you can talk to them, perhaps you could print out this post and show it to them.
  I think mumstheword said it best. We have to have bad thoughts in order to make decisions, in order to know what is wrong or what is right. They do not make you a bad person.[/quote]
  
  thank you so much, nutmeg.
  
  adn thank you for those who said they were praying for me. i haven’t had a brush with god for many years so i find it hard to pray myself. but your intentions mean alot to me.
  - written 3 months ago

• I just want to take control of something in my life.
  

  thank you everyone so much for your help.
  
  i have considered professional help because sometimes i think my problems are too big for me to deal with by myself, but i don’t have the money. i’m young and live with my parents who don’t make a very big income and i don’t want to stress them further with the burden that their child is messed up enough to need professional help and the financial need. I’m afraid of what they would think of me because they’ve been such wonderful parents and worked so hard for me. when my sister suggested to our mom that there must be something psychologically wrong with HER, my mom took it as a slap in the face. and i’m the oldest in the family, i’m the most successful and i’m expected to be so. i feel like i’d be letting so many people down by seeking professional help.
  
  and i’m also scared about what this would mean to myself. i don’t want professional help. i hope it doesn’t sound foolish when i say that i’ve had to solve many problems with just family or friends or maybe completely on my own and i don’t want to start depending on someone that i pay to make me feel better.
  
  and i don’t really want people to know that i’m seeking professional help. to everyone else i’m the perfect person. kind, confident, steady, strong, compassionate, active, pretty, successful. i like being that person. it’s easier than being anybody else. and going to a psychiatrist is to me like revealing a tragic hero’s fatal flaw. i want to get rid of it myself, sometimes it makes me so angry, but sometimes i have the feeling i can’t do it on my own.
  
  i don’t know. i don’t want to be a failure. i owe it to so many people and myself to succeed and i wish i could just fix myself.
  - written 3 months ago

• I just want to take control of something in my life.
  

  this doesn’t make sense, my post isn’t showing up anywhere else. oh well.
  - written 3 months ago

• Just out of interest, has anybody here ever ‘found’ God?
  

  the good ones do
  - written 3 months ago

• Just out of interest, has anybody here ever ‘found’ God?
  

  god can’t die
  - written 3 months ago

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