els's profile at Help.com

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Last 2 Posts Authored

• Gee isn’t being bipolar great. posted (5 years, 2 months) ago
  For the most part I have weathered the storm and am able to deal with everything and this is really …

• The toss up between a good laptop and a cheap laptop - Any advice on what might be the best one to get? posted (5 years, 6 months) ago
  …

• All Claimed Posts »

els's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) My fiance has decided to apply for a job that is almost 2 hours from where we currently live.
  

  But surely he is the one being selfish if he is trying to make you move to somewhere you don’t want to? On the other side, if he feels he is doing what he thinks is best for both of you then maybe he just can’t understand why you wouldn’t want to move and to have a husband that is successful. I would suggest you and he both separately write down the reasons why you want to stay or move. You need to then sit down and talk about the things on your list and both try and remain very calm so that it doesn’t end up in a huge argument. You must both have very valid reasons for what you want to do but the hardest thing is going to be finding a compromise. It seems that he is possibly thinking very financially and you are thinking more emotionally. These are both very equal and valid considerations and having moved away from friends and family, and a town I loved, myself I know it can be very hard. On the other hand by doing that I have had so many new experiences then I would have had by staying at home. If you do move then you will at least be very near to home and although you won’t have old friends immediately there, they are not too far. Do you also have a job that you are very attached to?
  
  - written 4 years, 10 months ago – voted for by c-eek

• (1 vote) Im 16 years old.
  

  Unfortunately someone is going to hurt. At the moment the person is you, if you tell your mum, and move, then it is her that is going to hurt. For a while at least there is going to be this period. However, it seems like your mum has chosen what makes her happy, and that it is really working out well for her, but that she has done it in a way that is detrimental to you. You need to be as happy as you can and if you feel that at this time you will be happiest with your dad then sometimes you just have to put your own happiness and contentness above that of somebody else.
  
  Try and let her know that it breaks your heart that you want to go back home, but it is your home and it was her choice, not yours, to move away. It may hurt your relationship for a while but hopefully if you can show her sometime down the road that you are happier back in Michigan then she will understand.
  
  - written 4 years, 11 months ago – voted for by Ramen

• (1 vote) gone
  

  Oh my God, you guys are really going to hate, hate, hate me for this, but my first thought was ‘nothing sharp’. So, so un-PC! Lots of big blankets and bean bags for people to snuggle into a feel secure for a bit.
  
  - written 5 years, 1 month ago – voted for by Ditzy

• (1 vote) im a teen and i think im pregnat and don’t know
  

  I got pregnant when I was 16 and I left it for weeks before I told them and it was so, so horrible haven’t that weight on my shoulders. It’s not the best way for your parents to find out you’re having sex, and it is going to be a highly emotional time whatever you choose to do. My worst feeling was that I had so dreadfully let them down and how dissapointed and hurt they would be.
  
  In the end my mum found out as I’d chucked the pregnancy test in the bin and she spotted it. She was so lovely and when she told my dad he burst into tears and gave me a hug. I was very lucky they were there for me, which I know isn’t always the situation.
  
  Actually one of the things I did was tell a teacher first as she noticed something was wrong. She was really good at helping me to tell my parents.
  
  Having said that, whether you tell them or not is really up to you. Obviously if you are going to have the baby then you will have to tell them, but there are services who help out teenagers if they want a termination, depending on where you are of course.
  
  Keep posting and we will try and keep helping. Big hug.
  
  - written 5 years, 2 months ago – voted for by magic dust

• (1 vote) What are your views on the war and George Bush?
  

  Do you have any idea how much Europeans, and probably the rest of the world, look down on americans just because of that man?
  
  - written 5 years, 5 months ago – voted for by Nine is alive

Last 5 Replies – All 521 replies »

• My best friend died a month ago.
  

  It’s amazing how much of you can actually be a shared personality between friends. The only thing I have experienced close to this is when I moved a long way from home and just couldn’t be the same ‘me’ without my friends, until I met new people who brought that aspect out of me again. It is so understandable that you feel so lost, and accepting that is indeed going to take a long time. I would say don’t try and recreate the friendship the two of you had, just try and find out what it was in your personality that you shared with her and work on being that person yourself, and for her.
  - written 4 years, 10 months ago

• Art critique- ‘tattoos’
  

  Cows
  - written 4 years, 10 months ago

• My fiance has decided to apply for a job that is almost 2 hours from where we currently live.
  

  But surely he is the one being selfish if he is trying to make you move to somewhere you don’t want to? On the other side, if he feels he is doing what he thinks is best for both of you then maybe he just can’t understand why you wouldn’t want to move and to have a husband that is successful. I would suggest you and he both separately write down the reasons why you want to stay or move. You need to then sit down and talk about the things on your list and both try and remain very calm so that it doesn’t end up in a huge argument. You must both have very valid reasons for what you want to do but the hardest thing is going to be finding a compromise. It seems that he is possibly thinking very financially and you are thinking more emotionally. These are both very equal and valid considerations and having moved away from friends and family, and a town I loved, myself I know it can be very hard. On the other hand by doing that I have had so many new experiences then I would have had by staying at home. If you do move then you will at least be very near to home and although you won’t have old friends immediately there, they are not too far. Do you also have a job that you are very attached to?
  - written 4 years, 10 months ago

• i am suffering with depression after a 24 year relastion.
  

  If you are having a hard time getting out maybe go online and look up some single father support group like singlefather.org or fathermag.com. You also need counseling for yourself and I think a lot of these support groups can help direct you.
  - written 4 years, 10 months ago

• My teeth hurt but not until I eat something, is this a sign of a cavity?
  

  I would see the dentist as you just never know and it is always the right decision to have your teeth checked if there is even a hint of a problem. However, I get achy teeth if I have swollen lymph nodes. It’s not a sharp pain but I know if that’s the problem because I can feel them as lumps under my chin, near to my ear. Maybe if the pain is more diffuse and achy then sharp it could be that.
  - written 4 years, 10 months ago

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life, depression, Year, marriage, Love, friends, boyfriend, Day, Eating, California, Month, Feel, happiness, Person, Adolescence, Mind, Thought, Town, sleep, Money, question, anger, Parent, Wrong, hurt