Carol Anne's reply history at Help.com

And it has to have a point?

I guess I just wanted to get started somehow and decided on a rant and see what replies come through.

Interestingly your question illustrated my inability to make a point. So I think that is the point. Thank you

I wonder who is going to crack first here you or him?

I am intrigued as to how you have been messing around and what specifically is meant by your boyfriend wants to stop messing around?

Only you can make you happy and then it gives others permission to do the same - make you happy.

What is it that you feel is ugly about you?

Sounds like your boyfriend is need of feeling closer to someone and so it feels like there is not much closeness within your relationship. Maybe you could explore what closeness feels like for you and ask him what it feels like for him - then compare your words. Are you saying the same things or different? It might be a starting to place to understanding yourselves and each other more.

Thank you for sharing, clearly very confused thinking going on here.

If you were to explore this different type of hole what is different about it? And if you had some hints of what it was what would you have in mind?

btw I am carolanne333 I just misspelt my e-mail address when I started replying so that account has now been deactivated!!!

What a great idea the book is. I like your point about a game being played on previous action - has set me thinking.

Your ideas for a life goal sounds brilliant. So hold on to the vision and the possibility and let it take shape - the how is not for you to know just focus on the what and the universe will take care of the rest. And yes it might change or it might become more detailed. Like what is the predetermined plot? What would the blurb on the back be saying? Who would the book be for? and what would its purpose be?

Yes to your query about Gloucester - actually its Brockworth. I know Stroud very well, have friends who live there. mmmmm intriguing.

And so if you did see other people in your situation with all these numbers, people and events I wonder what you might see now? I also wonder what you might hear that you havent heard before - you appear to be very visual and sometines that can stop you hearing other people because they are more auditory or kinesthetic and so use those types of words. For example someone might say to you I think this what do you think? and you would reply I see it as this. Result is the person would end up asking you again because they dont see it they are thining it. Does that make sense? So theremay be people around you who you are not hearing who are actually in a very similar or even same situation as yourself. They just describe it using different words.

So when would now be a good time to choose to alter the course of these series of events? There are several things you could do, one which springs to mind, as I read your reply, is to repeat the following 4 lines, as you think about the events:
I love you
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
They are just said to the universe and feel what happens in how you feel about the events and about yourself. See what possibilities open up in your minds eye that appear to allow your life to get better and better.
Have you heard of the DVD called The Secret? - it is well worth looking up on the web.

So if you don’t feel like yourself anymore, who do you feel like? What specifically in your life seems to be getting worse and worse? And how specifically worse and worse are you feeling? You are right you cannot change the things that have happened to you. What you can change though is the way you choose to be and what you choose to focus on. Also, when did you decide that your parents would never understand how you feel?