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• I hesitate to ask for help because I am unlikely to take the help that is offered. posted (1 year, 5 months) ago
  I could list the various specific issues, but they are all mere symptoms of a deeper problem. I wa…

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• I hesitate to ask for help because I am unlikely to take the help that is offered.
  

  Wow this is…nice. It just feels good to get an echo, you know?
  
  I am not suicidal at all, but I am depressed. I suppose it is good that I am aware of it–it certainly took long enough for that to happen–and I must say therapy did help with that.
  
  While I don’t think more isolation would be good for me (I do too much of that already), I do think you have a point there, whentenluver7. Relaxing and letting go of some anxiety would be a good idea, and you are more helpful than you think.
  
  As far as what adult responsibilities give me stress, well, virtually all of them. I have been only sporadically employed over the years, and even simple things like cleaning my home require a lot of mental/emotional effort. I tend to avoid things, and I am all too good at doing that.
  
  Anyhow, thank you for your replies. I don’t expect miracles but it is nice to get things out.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• I’m moving to a new city, without a job or a place to stay.
  

  Look for something temporary at first, no long leases unless you get some kind of awesome deal. The idea is to get that job, make a few connections, and keep your options open. You might find someone looking for roommates.
  
  As far as what kind of job, maybe go through a temp agency at first, so you won’t have to quit the first job you get when a better one comes along.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• I’m depressed because of the situation I am in.
  

  I have been homeless, and while it is clearly survivable, it is definitely not fun. The frustration you must feel is evident. You make the effort, you do your best, and the result seems to be senseless disaster. Of course you are depressed–that is only natural and rational.
  
  It must be hard for you to keep trying when effort does not seem to lead to any sort of positive result. Clearly you have kept on trying for quite a long time now, and that is admirable. I’m afraid I don’t have a clue how to help with getting interviews, as I don’t know how myself, but I can say that your persistence means that you are pretty likely to succeed eventually. “Eventually” might take longer than you hope, and survival in the meantime sounds like it might get pretty difficult.
  
  To simply say “don’t give up” or “things will get better” is so dismissive, I think it may do more harm than good even if it is true. Things probably will get better, but at the moment things suck and all your effort seems to be making little difference. You don’t have to give up or do anything drastic, but you may have to face some pretty lousy circumstances.
  
  One way to make it a little less traumatic is to look at those possibilities with cold realism. You might be homeless, or you might not. If you are, can you survive it? Well, people do survive it, and you can too. It’s not a pretty picture, but it is something that happens sometimes and people manage, people get through it. I am not saying “don’t worry”, I am saying “worry in realistic ways”, and face the possible worst-case scenarios. Once you do that, then they are no longer these vague unthinkable looming disasters.
  
  Just do what you can and hope like heck it works. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I sound like a cliche-machine but I don’t know how else to say it. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror and know you did your best, the rest is up to fate. Good luck to you.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

ashunartes's conversations are tagged:

Situationist, job, Unemployment, Adult, male, march, therapy, depression, Deeper, safe, City, Professional, life, Symptom, place, dependence, Quickly, Antidepressant, Stay, automobile, Kind, Insurance, moving, homelessness, new city