windmills,'s reply history at Help.com

Do you you feel insecure and lonely without a guy?

I used to think about it a lot, but not so much anymore. I’m more focused on the precious time I have left in this world and how I can hopefully make a positive impact.

A friend of mine went through a similar situation. I would strongly urge you to tell him exactly how it makes you feel when you decided to cancel your plans to make plans with him, only to have him back out at the last minute. If this has happened more than once, then it needs to be addressed. I would tell him, in person, that you cannot keep going on like this. Either he’s going to have to commit himself to the plans made between you and him or you’re going to eventually get tired of playing this game.

I should mention that I’m not contemplating suicide and relying on your arguments to sway me in one direction or the other. I simply have an interest in knowing everyone’s thoughts about this.

It might be an error in the tracking system. It’s hard to say. I’d advise calling the number above if you’re concerned about it.

It could be possible that his feeling about engaging in a serious relationship changed within that short amount of time.

There’s also the possibility this guy simply wasn’t interested in you and couldn’t muster up the courage to openly tell you his feelings.

Either way, I don’t think you should bother with this guy. Find someone who knows what they want and is not afraid to honestly tell you.

[quote rylieghs][quote windmills,]Does he have a busy life? Is he in school?[/quote]
He works full time and right now, is his daughters softball season…he told me last night , thst until she is out of school, he is kind if stuck…she graduates, this year…so I’m hoping things will change over the summer, we work opposite schedules, which have made it even more difficult to see each other…I really like him, I just wish he would just tell me if he is interested or not.[/quote]

I know his behavior makes it seem as if he’s not interested, but if someone has an incredibly busy life then you really cannot blame them for not contacting you as often as you’d like. It could also be that he’s not too keen on communicating via text messaging all the time. While I don’t agree with using text messaging all the time, I do think it’s the most convenient means to communicate with someone, especially if you don’t know their schedule that well.

I won’t rule out the possibility that he’s lost interest in you. But at the same time, it would not be a fair and accurate judgment to say that he’s surely not interested in you based on his actions. Because as I said earlier, it’s very likely that his schedule doesn’t afford him much time to talk to you.

I think it would be best if you could both plan a day when your schedules do not conflict to spend some time together. Perhaps then you’ll get the answers you’re looking for. If he’s still interested in you, then he’ll find time to spend with you, despite the conflicting schedules, and you will know where he stands.

Does he have a busy life? Is he in school?

You said your boyfriend kinda believes God exists. Without getting too technical about this, I’d say that he’s not an agnostic by the strict sense of the definition. It sounds like he’s leaning more towards belief in God rather than being on the fence. All of that aside, it really shouldn’t matter if your boyfriend is atheist, Buddhist, pagan, or what have you. Religion should absolutely never come between two people that love each other. And if it does, then it was more than likely because one could not bear the idea that the other person did not share his or her beliefs. No matter what you believe in, I think a good overall principle to live by is tolerance. It seems that our society is moving in a direction that seems to be promoting tolerance. We are more tolerant of homosexuality and more tolerant of people of different races. So I think it’s very possible for us to be tolerant of those who share different beliefs than us.

Look at it like this: you’re both still very young and I assume you’re not contemplating marriage or having kids too soon. Therefore I wouldn’t worry about those things. Focus on the here and now. If you both happen to get married and have children, your lives could very well undergo significant changes between now and then and your beliefs may not be the same as they are today.

I would consider myself to be agnostic and as much as I don’t mind discussing my beliefs with others or religion in general, I am not going to bend because some want me to have a firm belief in something instead of taking the “middle ground.” Similarly, I don’t think it’s fair for you to expect your boyfriend to take a definite side. Perhaps he has explored his beliefs and he has determined that agnosticism suits his life the best. If that’s the case, then you should be happy and accept him for the person he is.

[quote Robben]You’ll lose the argument or the debate because he holds all the cards. So make it a negotiation. You’re using the wrong tool for the job.

Were you the only person to break this implied rule accidentally?[/quote]

I’m sure there were others. But his defense is he said it over and over again in class that we were to give explanations for our answers. The issue I have is that we didn’t explain our answers for some of the problems we worked out in class. Furthermore instructions on a test are there for an important reason. If he is going to claim that that part of the instructions is implied, then why even bother writing instructions at all on the test? Why not just let all of the instructions be implied?

Either way, I don’t think I can win. I figured he would admire my appeal to logic and reasoning to try to convince him he made a mistake, and maybe he did, but he was not willing to bend regardless. It’s just extremely frustrating when something like this happens and you feel like it’s unjust, yet you’re powerless to do anything about it.

I’ve pretty much given up now. He said he was going to ask his next class what their opinion is on his decision to leave that as an implied section of the instructions. But I suspect he will word it in a way that places him in a favorable light and me in a negative light.

[quote sansceriph]Your professor is wrong, and he may be a douche, but he’s the professor. If the 2 points is not the difference between passing or failing the course, then drop the issue. If you make it a big issue, you’ll come out worse for it, because grading is often subjective, and you’ll be on his **** list.

Look at it like this instead. When you paid for this course, you got two for the price of one. The first is whatever the course is supposed to be. The other is advanced douche studies.[/quote]

The professor actually tried to discourage me from making a big deal out of this by claiming it’s only a few points. But this is a few points that could be a letter grade difference for me. Anyone in my situation, including the professor, would surely not appreciate hearing someone try to trivialize the matter by saying “it’s only a few points.” When it’s your grade on the line, then every point matters.

Thanks for your input. I think I’m just going to brush it off an move on.

[quote emerge]If those points are vital to your grade, approaching the situation a bit differently would help. Telling a logic professor that he is wrong and should reward you for your observation doesn’t sound like it’ll go over so well. Even though logic professors are supposed to be logical, they’re probably every bit as vain and huffy as other professors when they’re told they’re wrong. Now, if you make an appeal to his generosity or emotions, tell him how hard you’ve worked, how much you need this grade, and instead of accusing him, show him how it would not only be reasonable, but helpful to give you those points, that would probably work. That sounds unpleasant, I wouldn’t want to do that either, but I think it would be your best chance. You could try what you’re going for, but unless your professor really admires tenacity, I don’t think it’ll get you anywhere.[/quote]

Thanks. I think he’s the type of guy to actually welcome tenacity and a willingness to logically argue a point. I might give your suggestion a try though, since I have nothing to lose by doing that. If that fails then I will resort to my former method.

Well I already know, given that he’s a logic professor and knows how to argue, he’s going to defend his decision at all costs. But I think he needs to look at this objectively. If I conducted a survey and got the opinions of a bunch of random people as to whether he was right in his decision, how many people would actually agree with him? I seriously doubt very many would. I’m starting to believe he’s simply be being biased in his decision to not admit he made a mistake. He’s a doctor too, and I know doctors have a reputation for not wanting to admit they were wrong because they develop this mentality of being an infallible authority on every matter.

[quote Lawn]i think the way you present the case in the first paragraph is more convincing than an analogy. since he’s a logic professor, maybe you can convince him that his reasoning is fallacious. this is the closest fallacy i could find to fit the situation:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appeal_t…

Haha that’s quite clever. That might actually work too, especially since we have discussed logical fallacies recently. The irony of him committing a fallacy and him acknowledging that would make my day.

If I can somehow convince him to give me back the points he deducted for the two questions, my results on the test could change by a letter grade. That is why it’s important to me.

People believe in God for a number of different reasons. But it seems that a very popular reason for believing in God is that it gives one’s life meaning.