windmills,'s reply history at Help.com

I would not care one iota if this post faded into oblivion. ;)

That’s unfortunate. I think that, given the effects of schizophrenia and how it has ruined so many relationships, it’s highly noble of you to not abandon her when she needs your support the most. Just being a friend to her is conceivably all that can be expected of you, and it’s probably what she could use more from you during her painful ordeal. I hope she is able to overcome this, though, and return to a normal life one day.

I wish you and her all the best.

I don’t thinks it’s so much that your nose has grown as you’re scrutinizing your features in the mirror, which could give you the illusion your nose has increased in size.

[quote a wild ozy appears][quote mills]Besides, I wouldn’t necessarily consider it “stealing” if she wants to be with you as much as you with her. If that is the case, you don’t really need her boyfriend’s permission to take her away - because she will just leave him.[/quote]

good point. i once had a funny discussion with my not-yet-boyfriend in which he told me he felt dishonest flirting and being attractive because he felt it was some form of manipulation. eventually i convinced him that it wasn’t manipulation to show someone who you are and what is good about you. in fact it’s more dishonest to shut someone out because you’re afraid. giving someone a chance to see the true you allows them to make their own decisions. in the end i did choose him. :)

but it’s important to point out that attraction by honesty is much more ethical and real than attraction by manipulating someone into thinking that they need you.[/quote]

Absolutely. Sadly, there are some people who try to win the affection of another in deceitful ways. That is when the proverb “all is fair in love in war” comes into play. But whether it’s cheating on an exam or operating under false pretenses in order to get someone to like you, I don’t think anyone really wins in the end.

I agree with a wild ozy appears. As long as the reasons for “stealing this girl” are not for selfish purposes but because you want to see her happy then I see no harm in that.

Besides, I wouldn’t necessarily consider it “stealing” if she wants to be with you as much as you with her. If that is the case, you don’t really need her boyfriend’s permission to take her away - because she will just leave him.

No. Your life has just begun. Try not dwell on the things you could’ve done in those 24 years and focus on the things you could be doing now to make your life a wonderful experience.

It’s only too late if you believe it is. Some people live by the saying “it’s never too late.” I am one of those people.

I don’t think best friends, even though they might go different ways in life, are ever truly forgotten. Perhaps it was nothing you did wrong but instead something she did wrong, and now she has realized it and wants to set things right. She may have realized that she is at fault for these two long years of silence between you and her, and it has occurred to her that the friendship should not end in such a way.

Being a firm believer in second chances, I think you should give her another chance. If the friendship meant anything at all to you, then don’t you think she deserves another chance?

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Most students only care about one thing when they are in the midst of college: finishing in the quickest possible way. I don’t think it’s wise to rush through college or to have the mentality of finishing in a hurried fashion - this could lead to taking shortcuts, thereby harming the quality of the experience.

The first thing I’d do - if you haven’t already done it - is discuss your plan to pursue a minor with your parents - that is, of course, provided you desire to pursue a minor. Having the support of your parents - whom I presume is paying most of you college expenses - makes a huge difference and should play a key role in helping you make your decision. Also, have you considered applying for any grants or scholarships to reduce the amount of debt? That would be something to consider as well.

As long as the cost to rent was proportionate to the living conditions then, yes.

[quote Araz]One of my friends used to call Sunday “get-$h*t-done” day. So, it’s not just you![/quote]

That’s great. I like that. :)

Well, it turns out I didn’t accomplish much today, but I don’t feel too awful about it. I have often heard that Sunday is a day of rest. My family believes in that notion. I’m not sure why I believe otherwise.

Be careful what you decide not to care for lest you care not for the things that merit great care.

I guess so. When I was younger I used to not feel so bad about it. But I suppose it just weighs on your mind more as you get older.

[quote Snar]Well clearly the issue with this statement is that the definition of “care” can vary so wildly. Not caring about small things will let you move with more ease through the greater issues of life. Not caring about anything will lead you to the problem Mariam described.

So until we know what sense you are using that attempted aphorism in, we cannot really assess its validity.[/quote]

I agree with this entirely. Well said, Snar.

Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy? I have found that reading is a wonderful escape for me - it enables me to temporarily forget about the stress and problems in my life. However, not everyone will find happiness in the same activities. Each person must find whatever it is in life that allows them to be happy. Just keep in mind that what brings one happiness today may not necessarily have the same effect down the road. As time changes, so does a person’s interests - or source of happiness - in life.

Have you discussed these thoughts with a counselor? If not, then I think it would be in your best interest to see one and hopefully they help you. It’s not normal or healthy to have thoughts of killing oneself.