windmills,'s reply history at Help.com

I think crying is sometimes necessary. It can serve as an outlet for the sadness, or whatever other emotions one is feeling and needs to release.

I’m not sure whether it’s good or bad to feel sadness. I just know that it’s natural to feel it. One might even say that without sadness, we could not truly know the feeling of happiness.

“Smile, even if it’s a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.”

I think a good starting point would be for one to realize that the world is a composite of multifarious people with diverse cultures, traditions, values and beliefs. The world is made up of many different people and, in order to learn to love everyone, one must first understand and accept this as a fact. Another important truth to remember is we are all born as human beings and linked together by fundamental, human qualities. We all, at some point or another, have harrowing experiences. We all make mistakes. We are all human.

I remember the former help.com and most of the names mentioned.

I suppose times change and we with time.

[quote Anonymous]I agree and I appreciate all of your tips. I was thinking of saying that one of the female characters is so cute, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. I know she has no chance with him, she knows that too, but still, that’s not really the point. It also sucks knowing that IF he did come around into her life, she would leave me within moments to go with him. She hasn’t said that, but I know it’s true.[/quote]

Perhaps you should pose the question: If you had the opportunity to be with this guy, would you take it without any hesitation? The truth of the matter is she doesn’t know anything about this person off the stage. Sure, he might be cute and all. But no matter how charming or cute a person is, they could very well have an unpleasant personality that detracts from all of their pleasant features on the outside.

I think I understand your situation. You’rr saying that you work in an office with people whose opinions you take exception to, yet you cannot challenge them to rationally explain why they hold such opinions without their emotions getting in the way.

The truth is certain individuals are incapable of rationally and calmly discussing matters with someone whose opinions do not coincide with theirs. In such circumstances, it would be best to simply be understanding and avoid trying to engage them in debate.

I’m hoping I will have successfully completed law school by that age.

Most guys that have girls as friends cannot see them as “just friends.” That’s when you know they only care about one thing: getting in the girl’s pants. It’s sad but true.

It seems like your two friends are doing everything in their power to have you as more than a friend. I suggest being brutally honest with them if their behavior persists. Tell them if they wish to keep you as a friend, they’d better get a grip on themselves and direct their amorous advances towards someone else. Sometimes you have to be cruel in order to be kind.

I imagine there are numerous people who wear a fake smile and pretend everything is fine when really they’re falling apart on the inside. It’s difficult when you look around and notice you’re surrounded by people who seem genuinely happy with their lives and you feel like you’re caught in a never-ending struggle to find happiness. You wonder how they find it and, when they do, how on earth they hang on to it. You might ask yourself: what do they possess that makes all the difference? Is it something material? Is it wealth? Is it their spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend? Could it possibly be something as simple as their particular outlook on life? Or is their happiness merely the result of indulging in a self-deception, during which they persistly and utterly deny their lack of happiness and truly believe they’re happy when they’re not?

I’m afraid I don’t know the answer. But when you find some level of happiness, hold on to it for as long as you can.

From what I gather, it seems you’re being far too emotionally dependent upon him. It is as if you mistakenly think your life has no worth unless he’s in it. I must remind you - and I know this is going to come across as a lecture - that your future is heavily contingent on what you do with the next few years of your life. You’re too eager to sacrifice your dreams, goals, and future in order to accommodate his - and that is certainly not a wise decision. I’m afraid you’ll end up regretting building your life around his and putting your future on hold. You’re young, smart, and full of potential. Given those qualities, I believe it would be in your best interest to continue going to college and obtain the necessary education to be successful in the real world.

By no means am I saying you have to sever all ties with this guy. I only wish to emphasis how important your own future is and the road you take to better yourself for the future. He has already chosen his path - the army. That is what he desires to do with his life. What if, say, the situation was reversed and you wanted to join the army or go to a college many miles away. Do you think he would set his goals and dreams aside to be with you and watch you fulfill your goals and dreams?

The best future you can conceivably make for yourself is by pursuing and fulfilling your own goals - whatever they happen to be. You could very well have a future with him. But right now you’re at the age when you need to concentrate on what’s important and beneficial for your future.

Hope you find the right attorney for the job, Puck.

Keep us updated. :)

I think I understand. As hard as it may be to refrain from dwelling on the past and thinking how perfect it seemed, try to focus more on the present and and its positive aspects. Is it safe to assume that the way you’re feeling is a result of the girl with whom you feel closely connected? Was there a breakup?

Ah, yes, the masks we all tend to wear. The problem with a mask is, while they do their job of not revealing our feelings and thoughts to others, the one who wears it cannot avoid hiding their own feeelings and thoughts from oneself. Therefore it begins to take a toll on the one who keeps his feelings and thoughts locked inside. Some, I believe, are masters at it. But others do not manage so well and it begins to break them down inside sooner or later. Keeping one’s feelings bottled up may, in fact, prove to be counterproductive in the long run, as it may cause unnecessary stress, tension, depression - or even worse, an emotional breakdown.

I believe we tend to help and want to lift the moods of others because it gives us a sense of happiness as well. It’s hard for me to be happy if I know one of my friends are feeling unhappy. As human beings, we have to ability to understand the feelings of others - which is called empathy. Empathy is a fundamental quality that links us closely together as human beings. What follows from empathy is usually what is known as compassion - that is, deep awareness of the suffering of others coupled with the wish to alleviate it. Compassion is arguably the essence of humanity - it is that which sets us apart from other species.

What you’re doing is being human. You’re selflessly helping those around you and putting them before yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s indeed an admirable thing. I just hope the help and support you lend them is returned in kind.

I am very sorry, Puck. It seems like just when things start to improve something else decides to hinder the process. I agree with the others who suggested legal advice. If all else fails, getting an attorney is certainly a legal recourse you have for hopefully putting an end to the frustration you’re dealing with.