Cecilia's reply history at Help.com

thanks for the advice guys. It’s actually only been going on two days, but I was just worried because it is so bad. I just hate not knowing why it hurts. Usually I can attribute stuff like this to stupid stuff, or doing something stupid which sustained such an injury. But this time, I did nothing!! I will look into all your suggestions! Thanks

naturally we lied, but mainly to protect our mother. If you have gone out and gotten very drunk, but recovered from the hangover, there is no real benefit to your mother finding out. You have learnt your lesson, your mum will only worry unecessarily, and she won’t be able to do anything. However, deliberately lying just to get attention is wrong. Even if that is not the reason, the fact is, her mother will worry SO much about her when she lies. And that is SO wrong. How would you like it Dr. Ralph if someone you cared about pretended to be very sick and you worried about them and tried to help them?

Well said scjarv, well said! Though I wouldn’t 100% agree, as I do feel there are MANY exceptions to what you say, in general I feel it is quite true!

Find out about her. Ask her about herself. What movies she likes, music, food, anything. Let her know you are interested in HER. She will feel very flattered. You are bound to find out that you have SOMETHING in common. And then you can naturally talk about that. And if you are in the same school/college/work place (delete as appropriate!), you can talk about that. If you are shy, and get really nervous, actually write down a list of topics before hand and read them over. This may sound stupid and over prepared, but it can help calm your nerves knowing that if you do start to get nervous and shy, you have a sort of “plan” to recover the situation.

And just be yourself. Talk about what you would talk about with a good friend. If she doesn’t appreciate that, then she isn’t worth it! :D

Are you joking? If so, it’s not very funny. I could think of better jokes. However, if you are serious, you won’t get help on here. Believe me. If you even mention the word religion, people jump at you and threaten to kill you in your sleep! ;)

I am very religious myself, but sometimes you need to realise there is a time and place to spread the gospel, and that there are certain people you just shouldn’t spread the gospel to. You need to respect people’s rights to not believe, and to not want to hear what you have to say on the matter.

Yes, I agree with above comments. Don’t! Why could you possibly have a valid reason to in the first place? Build a relationship with your mother based on trust, and you will reap the rewards in later years. Believe me!

Windows 7 is amazing….for windows, that is. I use Mac, and still think Mac is better. But for Windows it’s fab. I was lucky enough to get Windows 7 on my pc laptop before it was released, and I really did love it. It is moving closer in a way to mac, with regards to intuitivity (if that is a word…I doubt it!). It’s definitely a good choice to make, and I don’t think you’ll regret it. And I hate vista, so anything has to be an improvement on that! :D

Thanks! :D I love that song so much. It really is a great song. And it’s very nice of you to post it with such a nice message. Thanks :)

Ok, cool. We’ll need those. Don’t forget the swimming togs. Tell me, do you agree with the Bahamas being an agreeable location? Or any other suggestions?

I’ll say a prayer for you guys. as that is all I can do to help. I can also listen. If you ever want to vent, just shout me. I can’t begin to imagine what it is like for you, and I wouldn’t even want to. I just hope that you get the support you need, and that your brother suffers as little as possible. My thoughts go out to you.

Hey Fourthings. You probably don’t need any advice right now. But the one thing I thought the second I read your post was ‘do not decide your future on your girlfriend’. No one should ever do that. I don’t care how much in love you are right now, that can change in a split second. If you are meant to be together, fate will make it happen. And you can call that cheesy, but I don’t even mean it in that way. The fact of the matter is, if you both want to be together, you will make it happen no matter what. If you ‘lose’ your girlfriend, which you are worried about, then it isn’t meant to be. If it was, she could easily wait out the long distance knowing that you are fulfilling your life dream. I know that you would do the same for her. If she was to break up with you for trying to achieve your life dream, or you were to break up with her for that reason, then it clearly wouldn’t be a relationship that would have lasted anyway.

You probably don’t need that advice now. But make this decision based on what your heart tells you, and don’t factor in your girlfriend or your parents if you can. If your parents are offering you the money, you may have to see it as a lucky break and forget what effect it will have on them, as hard as that is. They wouldn’t offer it unless they really wanted to see you benefit from it, and maybe that to them is worth more than anything else they could buy with the money. (or maybe not, I am really just guessing here)

I don’t know why it confuses me so much either Fourthings!!! Hah hah, I actually don’t. I am such a girl at times, which is annoying cus I really don’t get girls. I can usually understand guys much better as I mainly hang out with guys.

You know what, you are right though. I do love him. It took you being stubborn to make me admit that. I guess I didn’t WANT to love him, and hence firmly convinced myself that I didn’t, yet still had all the stress that goes with loving someone and not having them love you back. I kept telling myself that I couldn’t love him as he was like a brother, but as you said, he isn’t. Hence there I can love him. *sigh*

Thanks for the advice Fourthings. I forgot how insightful you are

******** Fourthings. ********. I am now just SO confused. I went out last night with a good friend who I never put much effort into keeping up. I figured I’d distract myself by meeting up with different people. But I ended up drinking, and she said ‘why is your friend _______ not here? Let’s invite him.’ Long story short, she invited him, and he asked to speak to me before saying yes, and asked if I wanted him to be there. My heart went out to him because he sounded so sad. And of course I wanted him there, that wasn’t the point of the argument/conversation we had had.
But I spent the whole night and today while I was with him worrying that I did like him but I didn’t know it. And then thinking I couldn’t like him because I didn’t know it and that was stupid. But then thinking about what you said. And going around in circles in my head. You have just confused me even more!!!!!!! I think I really just need to go back to my plan of giving him some space, and me.

Thanks Fourthings, for the very detailed advice you gave me. I really do appreciate it more than anything. I still don’t agree that I like him in that way. I am being stubborn about that I guess. I think it is possible to love someone to that extent without wanting to go out with them and have the whole physical side of a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. It’s like one best friend I once had. I loved him SO much and he asked me out, and I said yes. But over the course of the relationship, I realised yes, I loved him more than anything in the world, but there was no physical attraction at all. In the end, I just broke his heart unintentionally and we never spoke again. I am a great believer that you can love some people just as much as a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but just not want that side of things with them.

Anyway, I guess I should graciously say that there is a chance you are right. Though I REALLY think there isn’t, I know there isn’t. But I guess I should admit there is a chance!!!!

Thanks, you really helped me though. I will stay clear.

Michael - I am very confused!!! Are you actually talking about me there, or just using it as a hypothetical situation to give me an example?????

And you guys keep saying ‘yeah, you obviously do like him’. And I can completely understand why you would say that. But seriously. People have actually mistaken us for brother and sister. So to be honest, it would just be **** weird if I did. And I always talk to him about guys I like or go out with, and he talks to me about girls he likes or goes out with. You’ll just have to trust me that there is no way he would ever think I liked him, and there is no way that I would ever think he likes me.

And you guys are all right. I guess I am just annoyed that he doesn’t feel or act the same way about me as I do about him. And yes, I am sure he was upset about his girlfriend. And it’s stupid of me to then be upset that he didn’t tell me. I kept telling myself that, but I can’t help it.

I just think, me analysing all this, and getting upset, and having arguments and stuff is pointless. I think that for me, it is just better that I distance myself from him, and realise I have loads of other very good friends which I can count on, and I don’t need to constantly hang out with him and depend on him. He is going off to college (I am just finished college almost) so our lives our going different places anyway.

I ended it by telling him that I just wanted space to cool down and that I felt I cared for our friendship way more than he did, and it was unbalanced, and I was getting pointlessly angry and upset, and that it wasn’t his fault at all. And that’s why I just wanted to start hanging out with other people more and just take a break from our friendship for a bit so that I stop getting so annoyed. I did reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t that I didn’t want to hang around with him, it was the opposite.

Is that ok to say? I was just trying to be honest. I don’t see what’s wrong with that! I don’t want to add to his emotional stress after having broken up with his girlfriend and I will if I stay around and start having argument after argument with him. I figure it’s better for both him and me this way….