theresape's reply history at Help.com

Those big glowing puddles taste sweet, which make them very appealing. No, I haven’t tasted them—I READ that they are sweet. (Don’t ask me who experimented and found out.)

You’re on the right track, hon. One more thing: Don’t take it personally if he gets moody. Just give him a hug, and leave him some space if he seems to need it.

All of the above, plus get an HIV test before touching her again.

Don’t let him out at all. In both urban and rural areas, there are automobiles, rabies, fleas, ticks, toxic chemicals (road salt, antifreeze, etc.), feline AIDS, feline leukemia, dogs, coyotes, raccoons, fox, and other predators. Keep kitty by your side. He won’t miss the outdoors, because he won’t know about it. Enjoy his place in your home, and treat him to a life filled with love and good health.

Take the clue from him—let him TALK about his father when he wants, and let him NOT talk when he wants. Me, I find that when loved ones die, I want to talk about them, to tell the old stories, the funny stories, even the sad stories. A lot of people try to change the subject. Don’t do that to him. Hear him out. If he seems inclined to want to revisit his life with dad, ask him questions, and perhaps even help him gather photographs. If you know his dad, point out some of his good qualities and highlight some of his achievements.

Just your being there for your boyfriend will be an enormous help, believe me.

Good luck—this is a hard transition, I know.

Try other mortgage lenders. Ask your lawyer and state reps whether they know any bailout programs you may qualify for. Google every phrase you can think of. Just make sure that the program you choose is legitimate—there are a lot of predators out there. Check with regulatory agencies, have your attorney check, call the Better Business Bureau, get references if you can and THEN check out the references to make sure THEY are legit.

Honestly, unless you have a rich relative or have something expensive (a recent-model car? a large diamond?) you can sell, I doubt you’re going to suddenly find the money to set things straight. In that case, I think your only chance is to find someone who will write you a new mortgage into which you can roll the whole payoff (including the past-due amount) and the closing costs.

Otherwise, it looks like you might have to just go for a “short sale” or let the bank take the property. You can start off new as a tenant somewhere. Even in the worst-case scenario (bankruptcy), you will have a clean slate in, say, ten years and can try again to become a homeowner.

Do you have a lot invested in the property?

I’ll send a prayer your way.

I hope you get what you need. We ALL have made mistakes that put us in a bit of a bind … I honestly don’t know anyone who hasn’t … and so I do truly empathize with you. The problem is, there really are not many fairy godmothers out there who are either willing or able to wave a magic and make things turn out right for us. Probably you are going to need to hit bottom before you start rebuilding. Can you check with your mortgage-holders, and see whether you might be able to negotiate new terms for an amount you can afford to pay each month?

If not, well, all I can tell you is that you sound like you are young enough to make a new beginning and get things back on track.

Good luck–I hope you make it.

If cancer isn’t enough to keep you away from cigarettes, and the price doesn’t deter you, consider this:
It’s going to make you smell bad, no matter what kind you smoke.

Why do you want to do this?

Also, try suggesting something new and interesting to do after school and on dates. Learn something together, or explore a new area together, or do some volunteer work together. Freshen things up.

Guess it’s time to move, then—though, if you have a security deposit, you may want to seek the advice of a lawyer to make sure you can reclaim it.

Are you saying they chewed YOUR computer cords and YOUR shoes and phone chargers? How are they getting into your apartment?

That sounds like a nightmare …

You are awesome! I look forward to seeing it.

Congratulations on choosing non-complaining women. Have a good time, dear.

Good luck. You can do this.

Of course you can. Just do it.

You don’t have to do anything. In fact, DON’T.