What wonderful answers you have given that girl. You’re very kind, and very good at counseling. Maybe at some point your words will sink in, and help - sometime down the road even.
Now that you mentioned it I would have to agree; what better name could one have than Dante. And I’m even more glad that I didn’t have to say so my self
Thanks, but it was a pretty stupid and pointless post. I just want someone to force me to change, who will push me to get there if they need to. I’m so reluctant to change that I need someone to help me.
Sorry for confusing you. There is someone on another site called tahrasep, I just wanted to know if you were the same person. I am usually lazy when writing, and expect people to understand me the first time, which they never do, so I have to explain anyway…
I rarely have a reasoning behind my nicknames. One of my friends uses plox a lot when she chats, I just picked up on it at that time. You’re probably not interested, but it’s some kind of nerdy internet lingo for please.
It is an American cosmetics company. www.stilacosmetics.com
And this is what I just learned: “The name Stila (pronounced STEE-la) was derived from the Italian word “stilare,” which can mean “to pen”. Stila’s official website is quoted as saying that they chose that name because they believe every woman’s makeup should be as individual as her own signature.”
Kind of fits in with the quill in your avatar! Funny!
my avatar is a “Stila” girl. Stila is a brand of cosmetics…one of my favorites and they always have these vintage-y looking girls in their advertisements and I just think they’re really cute!
LOL–I’m not sure I have a higher IQ than every other poster, but sometimes I AM amazed by how low they can go. This guy yesterday was a doozy. I love to talk to you because YOU know what I am talking about, and SOMEtimes you even agree with me. ; - ) Except, as I said before, you’re nicer–or, well, not quite as blunt. “Experience” is a byproduct of age and of having lived, ahhh, vigorously, but what I really hope I bring to this forum is a lot of common sense, expressed with compassion but with no coddling. Now, the truth—and I’m sure you know this—is that it is far, far easier to see the situation clearly when you are not in it, and it’s far easier to preach common sense than it is to practice it. So I know all the pitfalls because I have fallen into them–LOL! No guarantee that I won’t fall into more of them, either, mas1s! Even at 61, I have not fully developed all my risk-version tools!
I see your point there. It’s absolutely not OK. I could only understand under an extreme circumstance (like a cheating spouse) that a person might react that way, but nobody should go around slapping other people.
Oh, I’m so sorry this whole thing was so stressful for you! I must try to stop discussing that matter anymore!!!
Yeah, it’s very addicting!! :) I hope it wasn’t all the stress over our “argument”!! I’m sorry if I added to the stress here… but anyway, back to helping folks, right?! :)
Hi Cattail–I hope you’re having a good weekend, too. After all the stress of the past couple of days, I vowed I would not even LOOK at this site over the weekend. But I couldn’t resist–just addicted, I guess! (You could call it The Thinking Woman’s Jerry Springer Show—lol!) Theresa
Peace! :) Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope you have a nice weekend! I do respect your point of view and appreciate all the advice you offer on help.com!!
i really appreciate everything and i hope all is well with your son.. Atleast i know i’m not in this boat alone.. But we talked it over and things are going great now and i feel alot better about things.. thinks for opening my eyes..
Thanks for your shout. I hope my advice really did help. I didn’t say very much! My 25-year-old son was recently in the same position. He was with a WONDERFUL and very beautiful young woman whom everyone loves, including him. But something didn’t feel right. He COULD have just kept following along the expected path; they might have married, they might have had kids, they might have lived happily ever after. It totally broke her heart AND mine when he decided to break free. But I admire him for taking that honest step, which I think required a lot of courage. Who knows? Maybe it was the right woman, wrong time; maybe he’s just not ready for a til-death-do-us-part sort of relationship. It was only recently that this happened, so I can’t tell you the long-range outcome. I only know that faking your way into a marriage is not honest and fair. So I congratulate you on working this through now, instead of just taking the path of least resistance. I wish you the very best, whatever decision you make.
I thank you for removing that reply. It makes me more comfortable, because the previous solution left his attack on me unanswered. I hope that child gets herself straightened out. I am not at all straight-laced about adult sexuality—I’m a flaming liberal onthat subject—but when I see a child whom I believe to be in danger I DO turn into Supermama. Again, my appreciation for what I feel is a more equitable resolution.
Actually, he did attack me, calling me “harsh” and “judgmental,” whereas I merely ASKED him what his interest in this child was. Two negative adjectives vs. a question. It seems to me that he’s the aggressor. I’m content to let it go–we don’t need to debate who said what to whom. I do wonder, however, where you think the name “hard-core,” for a music genre, derives. I also wonder whether you looked at this child’s photograph before concluding that she was naming herself after a music genre. Finally, I am wondering whether there is a minimum age for participation on help.com, and whether a 13-year-old (however sexually precocious) should be exposed to some of the things one reads on here.
Thanks. I called you Mary Swanns in the story. If you want to tell me your real name, I’ll use that; I’d prefer the real name, really, but you might not want to say it here. Again, my appreciation.
The article is for a dean’s newsletter at the Boston University School of Public Health, and it’s a feature about a researcher who studies childbirth trends.
I just read your shout. It’s funny how 2 people can readthe same thing and read something completely different. I read “lousey $895 as in, it’s only this much, but I still cannot afford it. And you read ,”it’s $895 and my stinkin landlord won’t get off my back”.
That is a great lesson for me to remember I read things and they are colored by my experience.
I thought of another motive of mine. I’m not sure if you share it, but I know I’ve done this.
Sometimes my anger here is misplaced. I’ll read a post and it is similar to someone in my life, or some situation I still carry some anger about. So in reality, this poor soul is getting the blast I wanted to give to someone else!
lol… I want you to know that you’re not the only one who gets angry at people’s whining. I had a nasty little argument with this cutter last week. She drove me nuts. I knew even when I was typing, that I was shutting her down. It didn’t matter that what I was saying was ‘right’. As soon as I came across as hostile, she stopped being able to receive it. I knew I was angry and was only going to make her angry as well. I wanted to shove her truth, as I saw it, down her throat.
I’ve decided since then, that if I feel annoyed by someone, I will not post. There is no point to it, aside from satisfying some nasty little urge to shake some sense into someone.
I have been extremely pig headed in my lifetime, but honestly, never had an epiphany whilst someone was yelling at me. The understanding I needed to overcome my problems always came in the quieter moments.
In my own way, I was trying to say that when you try to ‘help’ when you feel an utter lack of compassion for a person’s plight,(even if you feel they are full of sh1t and deserve no sympathy)you end up doing more harm than good.
Thank you for not tolerating it. I was glad to see (after answering your shout) that it had been deleted. As for her other post, she herself had raised the point that she was having difficulty making healthy friendships–she felt locked into an abusive friendship because she found no one else wanted to be her friend. I was simply pointing out a potential reason for this difficulty; it would be helpful for her to know that this kind of talk (i.e., promotion of animal torture) diminishes people’s ability to attract friendships. I do wish her the very best in forming relationships with people who are not hurtful to her, as I told her this morning in a final post. I do not plan to communicate with her again.
Well either way, she wants some big drama and I’m not even taking about race. This boy has a kid and a girlfriend, so seriously, does she even WANT to be in something like that. i know i wouldn’t….I mean thats asking for it
You must be registered and validated to leave shouts to other users.