jed drums-manically-'s profile at Help.com

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• so incredibly lonely, I cannot describe the emptiness, let alone get over it. posted (22 hours, 56 minutes) ago
  I have so many things…friends, opportunities, musicianship. I am seen as being a nice guy and …

• we need some sort of petition to get help.com sorted out with these speed and connection issues. posted (2 months) ago
  any ideas? This makes me think because a little while back I was in a very dark place myself and jus…

• is it just my internet or is this website so slow that help.com needs help? posted (2 months) ago
  It seems unpredictable and erratic. it often refuses to load certain things altogether. Is this li…

• well its all good really, thankyou to anyone who was there several months ago! posted (2 months, 4 weeks) ago
  I have had a lot to learn the past few years, but I guess it has been quite a ride…

• please talk, I am on the edge. posted (11 months) ago
  I am suicidal. I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate and I can’t relax….the thi…

• My fiancee is cheating on me this minute in another country…I just need to talk to you guys, I can’t get through this alone. posted (11 months, 1 week) ago
  I love her so much…we promised everything to eachother…and she is meant to be coming to …

• To anyone with knowledge of Buddhism, especially in Thailand If a Thai girl who is moderately buddhist promises something on ‘’her buddha'’ posted (1 year) ago
  anyone with knowledge of Buddhism, especially in Thailand If a Thai girl who is moderately buddh…

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jed drums-manically-'s Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (2 votes) …………………&
  

  I know what you are talking about, and I know how impossible it can be to consolidate and to think of anything else when you are in this sort of state.
  Talk to people, ask for help, make new friends and look for support, seek professional help; all these things are a healthy solution and will help, but just as importantly, the answers lie inside YOU. It is possible to turn everything around, but the question is, do u WANT to try, and do you want to grow to achieve the things you dream of? As much as the self-destruct daemon may be present, whispering sweet nothings as you spiral, telling you to give it all up, you know deep in your heart that if you were to answer my last question with a no, you would be lying to yourself.
  Please DON’T go down the suicide route, I have been there myself and it was truly horrific. When all that matters crushes you in ridiculously cruel ways and you lose yourself to the point where you GENUINELY don’t want to live anymore, where each moment seems to burn you, where for a brief moment you are truly pushed over the edge of what is humanly bearable, and in your mind all is emptiness, and there is no hope and no alternative to the end that has to happen; that is when you have reached hell on earth.
  But somehow I survived. And slowly, without even realising, I began to appreciate the hope and the beauty in the world once more; all the places, the people I could meet, the things I could do, the fact I could go ANYWHERE if I wanted to, that I was lucky in my position if not my experiences, all the possibilities, my love for music and creating. All these things came back to me in time, and looking back on my previous state, it feels like another person: A person who was not ready for what was to come, but now I know. I have changed and grown strong, and have subconciously left my troubled past behind me. Before this breaking and turning point in my life, I had always been quite depressed right through to when this took place 18 months ago; I had always dreamed and these dreams were never matched. and then things started backfiring and I was left feeling as you do now.
  feeling the way you do now for so long left me vulnerable and clingy, and then when the worst and most outrageous happened, I lost it completely.
  But I survived and I found the answer: I had no counselling, medication, help, and nobody even knew the mess I was in but for two university friends. But I found the answer in myself. It is simply acceptence of what is, what is not, and what could be. It is something we can all learn if we cast aside our pride and look to the future. Each breath to pass our lips can be taking us a step closer to achieving a goal. Don’t look back and don’t compare. Don’t look at what you don’t have, but look to the time when you will acheive so much more.
  Go out there and do your very best, and don’t ever play with suicide or self-harm.
  There is so much more to life than meets the eye, and these things are more disasterous than you currently realise. Things are still not great for me, but I have learnt to brush troubles aside at will.
  I look back on the things that broke the old ‘me’ in two, and envisage it as a warning. And I would not change one single second of my life.
  Keep in touch if ever you want to talk
  
  This is what I posted to somebody else, and I want to say it to you too. Hopefully it will get through this silly message filter this time
  
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago – voted for by Engleby77, angels-delight

• (1 vote) What documents do I need to bring to the American Embassy to apply for a tourist visa to go to US?
  

  Hmmm. good luck. I know that (especially right now) it is extremely hard for an Asian to get into England or America, but once you have already been I think it gets a bit easier. Being able to show bank account details is important. What you really need to do is to save up the largest amount of money that you possibly can. They want to know that you won’t simply run off and become an illegal immigrant when you get to the country, and they want to know that you have enough money in your bank to live on over there for quite a while. Some girls go to these places, run off, run out of money, and then turn to working illegally or even prostitution, so you would need to do whatever you could to show that you are a safe bet…background checks, education, employment history, family details, land ownership, etc. A sponser is definately the fast track to getting there in 6 months or a year or 2 years, and without that you will find it hard to get anywhere. Most Asian girls just seem to rely on the devoted boyfriend or Fiance to try and get them over, as this can make things easier. And if the guy has money, then the man will often pump money into the girls bank account so that she can show the readies to immigration…..I do not reccomend doing this however unless you can find someone really nice. I have heard horror stories from both sides, asian and foriegner
  
  - written 11 months, 4 weeks ago – voted for by PaDLe

• (1 vote) I think my boyfriend is lying to me.
  

  If he won’t have it, then he is probably up to no good
  
  - written 1 year ago – voted for by martco

• (1 vote) forget I said this
  

  Hun, get out of there now and put it behind you, your far too young to be thinking along these lines and it is not a healthy situation. and it could be dangerous.
  You have a lot of growing up to do
  
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago – voted for by kim.

• (1 vote) i wish it were possible to stop liking somebody
  

  One thing that I’ve found is that when you end up feeling really attracted to somebody in a short space of time and feel immediately that they are all u want and that they are perfect for u, it usually happens that they REALLY are not.
  It normally takes time to work out who the right person is, and usually you wouldn’t realise it until u make a deep connection. Its a sad fact of life that the laws of attraction are all messed up, and as a race we tend to go for the difficult options. Let it go, trust me. take yourself off somewhere else, meet new people, learn to spot the differences in both your charecters, and learn to realise that there are so many other people better suited to you. You won’t see all this of course because right now u are caught in the emotional trap, but read between the lines. You DO know what I am talking about. Confront it or let it go, or both
  
  - written 1 year, 4 months ago – voted for by carnivale

Last 5 Replies – All 331 replies »

• so incredibly lonely, I cannot describe the emptiness, let alone get over it.
  

  big al, I hear you.
  the problem is that I seem to naturally and unwittingly only attract the girls who either have phsycological problems, or just simply don’t have a clue what they want.
  If anyone makes the first move with me, it is one of the 2.
  how do you get out of this? I don’t ask for it, and niether do I myself appear this way to others. it just happens somehow. and then I get hurt, get lonely and pine after some girl who has decided that she would actually rather have the bloke down the street who is an arrogant womaniser and is known for cheating on every girl he gets together with.
  sometimes its hard to win, you know? I am the nice guy. and unfortunately that does not work
  - written 21 hours, 54 minutes ago

• so incredibly lonely, I cannot describe the emptiness, let alone get over it.
  

  ben.tryo I know where you are coming from. and yes, things can tie in with such subjects in the disorderly happenings of our lives. I have a strange situation though because I have experience that goes a little deeper than that.
  If you are at all interested or experienced in spiritual matters then I would be clearer if you would like me to.
  but the one thing I have found is that I have seen quite a lot that few people have and I have experienced the effects of spiritual intervention and higher sources.
  but sometimes it seems that the more you know about something and the more answers you find, the more confusing your place becomes in the grand scheme of things.
  Sometimes I feel that I am being tested and I am failing the test time and again. but I don’t know if I am even meant to succeed or if I even can
  - written 22 hours, 1 minute ago

• so incredibly lonely, I cannot describe the emptiness, let alone get over it.
  

  big al. I understand where you are coming from. few things last and nothing is perfect. but when temporary and imperfect are the best things that we have, we can’t be faulted for trying and not letting ourselves grow cold and distant. else, what do we become?
  taylorfan. communication is definately the way forward with most things, but it doesn’t really change much normally. I am really lucky that I have a few good friends I could talk to about my feelings, but….
  
  Littlenick. I know, I know. but its so HARD!! you know? I am 22 and have felt lonely for as long as I can remember. never had a happy relationship that was secure and did not hurt me dramatically. and the only women who have been drawn to me have been those who were the worst for me. its all a bit much
  - written 22 hours, 17 minutes ago

• so incredibly lonely, I cannot describe the emptiness, let alone get over it.
  

  I know what you are saying littlenick. and I know that eventually something will work out ok, and I know that the image of perfection we can atttch to people is simply of our own invention. but it just keeps on going. just when I think I am getting strong and I don’t need anyone….'’bam!!!”’ thats me down for the count again
  I don’t know how many blows I can take. I also don’t know how to change and I don’t even think I want to change me, because then I would be trying to live something I am not.
  - written 22 hours, 32 minutes ago

• so incredibly lonely, I cannot describe the emptiness, let alone get over it.
  

  Dana… in answer to your question is this. what else does life really hold if not love and good company? I have searched hard and found nothing. I am a skillful musician in 5 bands and with loads of opportunity. I could practice until I was one of the best. but still seems empty to me. I could have all the money I would need, I could drink myself silly every night, and I could be the most popular of the pack.
  but all this for what? All I really want is to wake up next to someone in the mornings with whom I can share a mutual bond
  - written 22 hours, 41 minutes ago

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