cattail's reply history at Help.com

Shed, how are you doing now? I’m sorry, I was away from this place for quite awhile. I can certainly understand all the questions you have in your mind, and wanting some answers to find closure. It’s hard to accept that sometimes there just aren’t any for us… but perhaps in time it will all start to make sense. I hope you have been able to move on either which way.

Sadly, there’s never an easy way to end a relationship….and it hurts… and it’s only normal to find it so tempting to just ease the pain of the separation from that person who’s been your life and go back to what is at least comfortable. It sounds like you are finally realizing that, and know it’s time to end the vicious cycle. If things never improve in the relationship, there’s no sense in going back to it anymore. It won’t be easy, so you just have to be determined to break the cycle of returning to something that doesn’t work, and instead leave yourself open to something that might work in the future. You won’t find it if you stay tied up in a not-so-great relationship!! So… keep yourself busy with other things, try not to dwell, and just let the difficult time pass. Keep some distance, because contact only makes it harder. Eventually it will pass. It’s just that you have to develop a whole new routine in your life that doesn’t include him, and that takes a lot of adjustment!! Best of luck to you!!

Well, it sounds like talking this out would be hard, since the two of you don’t seem to talk much as it is. Maybe you can combine the two…. tell him to his face, as gently as possible, that you’ve been thinking you two should end things, and you can give him the letter explaining why…. see if he has anything to say after he reads it and take it from there? It’s never easy. But it sounds like something that needs to be done. And you’ve said what you feel you need to say, so that’s what matters. It gives all the reasons and what bothers you. Either it will be a wake up call to him to improve the relationship with you, or to simply let you go if he can’t give you what you need in a relationship. Maybe he’s just not emotionally ready for such a relationship yet, in which case you are doing the best thing by moving on and being open to something more fulfilling in the future. Good luck to you.

Must see….. this is inspiring!!!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9OhVMHIuO4]

You’re welcome!! :) Wow, tiny waist!! Are the size 5’s loose on you?! Well, as I said… sizing in clothing is somewhat unpredictable…

Awww thanks, Ben… I hope you are having a wonderful trip that does good things for your spirit and soul! *hugs*

According to this chart (http://fashion.about.com/bljuniorchart.htm) you’d have a 27 inch waist and 37 inch hips… but it’s true, especially with jeans I think, the brands run in different sizes.

So glad that is done with now…. thanks for sharing the story of your experience!!! :) What fun, huh? But it’s done… yay!!! Glad you are not feeling too bad at all… keep up the great work, Shi!!

It probably is the stress/panic attacks thing and all you’re going through right now, but if it continues you might want to talk to a doctor, and maybe they can give you something to help….

See what the breathing exercises do for you first…. sometimes it seems to help calm us down if we just focus for a minute and remember to take deep breaths…

It is great that you finally realize what is happening though…. that’s a huge step, now you have to keep reminding yourself of this when you catch yourself thinking the way he “brainwashed” you into thinking…. tell yourself positive things about yourself, not negative!!!

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Secrets…

http://lifemadesimple.typepad.com/abu…

There are probably some good books you could find on Amazon about recovering from emotional abuse. Now would be a good time….

You will get there!! It takes time, but you can do good things for yourself during this time to help things along! You are stronger than you realize!! Hang in there!!

Yeah… you know it will….. “This too shall pass.” It always does! Hopefully by tomorrow, things will be different!!

Oh, how wonderful to see you, brokenwings!!! We don’t really know each other, but I’ve heard so much about you here for quite some time… you have so many people who care here!! I’ve read a bit about your story, and I so wish you a full recovery and better days ahead that you deserve!!

I’m so sorry for your loss…. I see you’ve gotten some very good advice here though… I don’t know what more I could add to that, but we are all here to talk anytime, about anything at all. All I can tell you is that we’re all really only here for such a short time, and more often than we’d like, all we can do is cherish the memories and the time we had to share with someone else. I’m sure your wife wants you to carry on and do the best you can with the rest of your time here. I wish you strength and peace, and fond memories of the love that will always feel good in your heart… that never dies.

Good luck!!! :) It’s a shame these “driving tests” seem to be more about harassing people and making them nervous rather than about actual driving, don’t they??! Something should be done. At least here in NJ, it seems really corrupt. Why don’t they take people out on the road and actually see that they can drive, rather than intimidating people trying to get their licenses by barking at them and being generally nasty on a test course!! Really, I’ve seen them fail people who had driven for years previously… just harassment and nastiness, because they can?!!

Awesome story!!!!