aarcieri2's reply history at Help.com

i hope it comes up soon…sorry for the long wait..it’s a long post…

Cutting yourself isn’t the answer. I’ve done that, got addicted to it, and then forced myself to stop. It wasn’t getting me anywhere (only unsolicited attention), so there’s really no point to it.

Next, about being bi, I left a reply post on my problem. It’s kinda long, but you might find a lot of value in it, as I pretty much gave you a condensed version of my experience.

Hope this helps!

I’d be more than willing to talk to you about it! I’m still coming into terms with this myself, but I can tell you about my experience so far.

I always had crushes on women starting from age 10. However, I always thought that guys were hot, and I even dated one at 16 (I’ve had some major crushes on guys, too). Because it was “weird” and no one was like me, I just ignored my feelings for other women and considered myself straight.

However, these feelings only grew stronger as I got older, and in senior year of high school, I finally accepted it. I felt that I had to tell someone, so I told my two cousins first, knowing they would understand. Next, I told my mother, who still insists that I don’t know what I’m talking about (she can’t accept it). After her, I told my aunt, and only recently did I confide in my best friend.

You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to. I truly wanted to because I felt like I had to (or, at least I felt I had to tell my mother because I never keep anything from her). Now I only tell people who I feel need to know and will accept it without acting weird around me. Otherwise, I keep it to myself.

I almost pity you because you must be going through the same thing I have/continue to go through (I say “almost” because we really shouldn’t be ashamed of who we are). I mean: liking people of the same sex and knowing they’re straight, knowing that even other homosexuals are prejudice against us, and knowing that straight people tend to think that we are “overly horny” and just “plain crazy.” It’s tough, but it is what it is. It’s an inborn preference, we can’t change it, but we can’t sit in a corner and cry over it. Life is way too short.

Whatever is bothering you, you should go speak to someone about it. It doesn’t have to be a psychologist, it can be anyone you trust! Just relax, and talk about everything that’s on your mind. Sometimes just getting it off your chest can be the solution. Writing a journal is a good alternative, if for some reason, you can’t find anyone you can talk to.

Hope this helps!

Ok, here’s the thing: it’s definitely a possibility that your friendship can be altered if you tell her about your feelings. I don’t think it would completely end, but if she doesn’t feel the same way, it will definitely be awkward for her and she might act differently around you for a while.

If you’re willing to take the chance, explain to her the same way you’ve explained it here, and assure her that if she doesn’t feel the same way, you’ll understand and won’t try to push the issue.

Hope this helps!

First of, I’m really sorry about your situation. It seems very rough…my deepest sympathy.

Anyway, you and your mom can try looking through your local newspaper for job opportunities, and keep your eyes out for flyers and posters requesting workers. Also, you can just enter your local grocery store or something and request a job there. Anything would help!

Keep your head up, take each day as it comes, and look toward the light of a better tomorrow! You and your family will make it, just have patience and wait out this storm. Best wishes =)

Retailiation is never the best option. It will only escalate into something else. My best advice is to approach your friend nicely and ask to talk it out. You guys can apologize, even out your problems together, and agree to avoid a repeat of the situation.
If you really don’t want to do this, just end communication completely. Just think carefully before you do that, because once you do, there’s no turning back.
Hope this helps!

I happen to like Axel, otherwise spelled “Axl.”

Unfortunately, you have to lay down the ground rules. Tell them nicely, but inform them that you aren’t interested in them that way–that you are only looking for friendship. Most people seem to need direct messages, otherwise indirect ones can be easily misinterpretted (as you’ve seen for yourself). Hope this helps!

I say quit OkCupid. This is not a place for you if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I personally don’t trust online dating centers, and I would never agree to a relationship (friendship or romance) if I didn’t meet the person face to face in a location that I go to daily (ie school, work, etc.) and speak to this person on a number of occasions. However, everyone is different. If you are going to keep him as a friend, be careful about the information you give him and I don’t suggest that you meet him anywhere if he asks. Set the boundaries now to avoid problems later, if that’s your decision.
No, you aren’t a bad person at all. You are just a typical kid (assuming that you are under 18). I did things like that, and it really isn’t a huge deal because you aren’t hurting anyone. Just be careful about what you do because you don’t want to find yourself in a situation that has dire consquences. On another note, if you’re into games, find other sites to play on. Unfortunately, I can’t suggest any for you because I don’t play computer games anymore, but just surf the net and find sites dedicated to gaming only. Take care!

Yes, bring it up! Let him know in a gentle, but decisive way that his change in attitude bothered you a bit. Listen carefully to what he has to say without misinterpreting his words or reading to much into them.

Okay, just as a first note: be careful. Even though you have other people with you, please be careful because you never know.

Next, I’d say play it by ear, and while you’re hanging with him (alone–after you’ve confirmed that he’s “safe”), if you feel the need, then tell him how you feel.

Good luck, and again, be wary.

Nothing starts until you initiate it! You said you want to live your life–well, living is a pro-active thing; you really can’t be passive about it. Aside from that, I’m not quite sure what you want exactly, but here’s some advice: do what you love to do, regardless of what others think. The rest will fall into place while you are “dancing through life” (as a particular song goes…).

Best of luck!

I’m sure that would cheer her up! If anything else, she’ll relize what you guys are trying to do and she couldn’t help but smile knowing that she has such devoted friends.

However, depending on how old we are talking here (and the kind of person we are talking about), she may be upset and want to bring “a date” to prom; this would just be a reminder that she no longer has one. Still, don’t worry about this: it may only mean a bit more prodding to persuade her to go and have a good time with her friends (in opposition of staying at home mourning over her latest break-up). I’m just telling you to be prepared for a negative response, just in case.

Good luck!

Definitely understandable. I’ve felt the same exact way. Think of it this way: you want the perfect person (girl) for you, and “perfect” also includes “available.” The right girl hasn’t come along yet (even if you may think so)…just give it time (especially since you claimed to give up some “loser-ish stuff;” hopefully acquiring qualities more appealing to others).

In the meantime, concentrate on your life as it is now: any sports you like to play, school work, etc. (in other words, live in the present). Love comes when you least expect it, and as they say in the martial arts: “the shot that knocks you out is the one that you don’t see coming.” It’s the same with everything in life (especially romance; God, does that one truly apply!). I urge you not to get discouraged.

For now: I bid you my best….