Desert Sand's profile at Help.com

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Last 3 Posts Authored

• Dedicated to the beautiful soul that was Scatt4ever (Jason). posted (1 year, 7 months) ago
  Today is such a sad day. This post is a tribute to a truly wonderful human being who helped so man…

• … posted (1 year, 8 months) ago
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• … posted (1 year, 10 months) ago
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• All Claimed Posts »

Desert Sand's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) So what do you all think of polygamy?
  

  Marrying 13 year olds and having the right to beat them up? I’m not sure there’ll be many supporters out there for such vile conduct. They’re minors and both those acts are illegal…harmless it isn’t.
  
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago – voted for by JesusMurphy

• (1 vote) hi, i am 13 and i have ginger hair and i am being bullies at school.
  

  Well…’no’ is the simple answer to your question. Your hair is ginger and my skin is brown; I had to contend with racism for my sins at high school, and you with nasty comments. The best solution is this: Be proud of who you are. Be confident and be happy. These bullies want to make you feel silly and because you’re embarrassed about what you look like, they succeed.
  
  Do this: Stand in front of your mirror each morning and say: “I am beautiful” to yourself ten times. But don’t just say it, mean it. Do you realise that your life could end tomorrow, but what have you done about it? You’ve let the colour of your hair stop you from enjoying this gift. The bullies can go to h£ll; where do childish teenagers count in the grand scheme of things? The fact is that you ARE beautiful and you need to start understanding and believing that you’re beautiful and be PROUD of who you are.
  
  I know that this won’t happen overnight, really I do. In your position, I had very low self confidence, so I saved up and bought a really cute skirt to go with my uniform and always made an effort with my hair and appearance. These things made me feel beautiful and gave me confidence initially. But remember these are only material things and the real change needs to happen from within with time. Remember, nobody will truly love you until you learn to love yourself a little first.
  
  I wish you the best of luck…feel free to shout me anytime…
  *Hugs*
  Farah :o)
  
  - written 1 year, 8 months ago – voted for by these13stars

• (1 vote) 16, home schooled, working 4-5 days a week, how do I find a new girlfriend?
  

  Hey, join societies in your neighbourhood or nearest town. Get out there and mingle. Now that you’re sixteen, I presume that you have some freedom. Learn how to drive, get out and about there.
  
  To not have a girlfriend by age 16 is hardly abnormal, in case you’re thinking that it is. It’s one of those things that’s nice to have, however, you can live without it. Much rather be single than have a girlfriend just for the sake of having one. It’s only fun if you can have fun and connect and stuff. Otherwise, it’s the worst nightmare you ever imagined. So use these years to enjoy being free and when it’s supposed to happen it will. You’ll be in college in a few years and there’ll be plenty of girls there…you know what they say: “The best things come to those who wait.”
  
  Hope this helps you to rationalize things in some small way.
  Farah :)
  
  - written 1 year, 9 months ago – voted for by qbnightmare2

• (1 vote) How can I get her to listen to me?
  

  Hey!!
  I’ve read what you have to say…the thing is…I’m not sure that she’ll listen. It seems that she doesn’t want to hear what you have to say. The only thing that I can suggest is that you google some info about how unhygienic it is, print it out and hand it to her to read.
  Aside from that, I would speak no more about it and just let her decide what she wants to do once she has the facts. There is nothing more that you can do aside from nagging (and hence annoying) her!
  Hope this is of help & that you’re doing well besides..
  Farah :)
  
  - written 1 year, 9 months ago – voted for by Hi_Sai

• (1 vote) Argh!
  

  I read your story and think you mean well, really I do.
  
  When you get a large group of girls together, there tends to be a lot of b1tchiness. If you were the scapegoat in the past, then no matter how hard you try, that’ll always follow you around, even if you become a nun unfortunately. The history is all you need for people to continue speaking about you.
  
  It’s just the way it is. People are stuck in school for long periods of time. They are young and immature and many don’t have opinions of their own. They try to find a source of amusement, so unfortunately this 9 times out of 10 results in gossip and bullying. School life and teenage years are stressful enough and nobody quite feels happy about themselves at that age, so instead of worrying themselves with their own shortcomings, it’s way better to gossip or poke fun at others. Obviously not the popular others though!
  
  You’re not that dull girl sitting in the corner of the class minding her own business. You’re different. You’re opinionated and not afraid to stand up for yourself. If they provoke you, from the sound of things they’ll get their money’s worth plus a lot more.
  
  This can work both for and against you. For you because people will be scared and will watch their tongue around you. Against you because people may not feel that they can tell you to your face how they really feel about you and so vent their feelings by instead spreading rumours about you behind your back.
  
  Of course they’re going to say it’s you who did this and said that. Plus, with you, they get an added ‘bonus’ from picking on you that they don’t get from picking on the quiet girl at the back of the class because they’ll be thrilled by the possibility that if word gets to you there’ll be a huge showdown.
  
  I know you never asked for advice, but I feel for you so I want to give you some ideas to try :)
  
  One solution is to kill these id1ots with kindness. It could embarrass them into realising the error of their ways. You’re very mature for your years, so use this advantage to beat these little kiddies at their own game.
  
  Don’t give them the reaction that they so await. Smile if they’re nasty to you (even if it kills you inside and you have to go into the loos to punch a wall!!). And if it’s so hurtful you cannot smile, then remain straight faced and calmly defend your position. Don’t argue about it, just state your position and move on. Ironically, the fewer words you use in these instances, and the calmer you remain, the more respect you seem to get…don’t ask me why this is…it just is!! Don’t shout, drag others into the argument (eg the girl who you pulled up before class started), or get caught in the nitty-gritty. Don’t entertain any further conversation on the topic or questions from other girls (who, by the way, are using this opportunity to get popular). Just state your few sentences and then add calmly that you’ve told them the score and now they can make their own minds up as to what the truth is.
  
  Also, as already stated, people will feel threatened by you because you’re a high achiever. There is nothing you can do about this and it’s certainly not your fault. I have found myself in this position too, funnily enough, and I just got around it by being as humble as possible. Always play down your achievements and be so humble, approachable and down-to-earth that they can’t possibly find fault. Never mockingly laugh at anyone (like in your example)…I found this out the hard way. They will see it as you thinking you’re better than them (they already have a complex that you’re more intelligent than them) and will hate you for it inside.
  
  Also, keeping a diary always helps. Do this in a password-protected Word document if you’re worried somebody may snoop. I’ll bet after you typed all of that out you felt lighter, and it really helps with keeping our feelings in check and putting things into perspective.
  
  Don’t dwell on anything that has happened in the past as we can’t change it.
  
  Maybe if you find yourself with too much energy or if somebody has really barked you up the wrong tree, go to the gym and get it all out. Some things we can’t change. You’re right to speak to your mum and friend from outside of school and by all means continue to do this as it stops us from holding feelings inside.
  
  My prayers are with you. Reminds me of my childhood. You have your work cut out but you’re a very intelligent young lady and I’m sure you’ll find a way to either resolve or get through this.
  
  Love and best wishes,
  Farah :)
  
  - written 1 year, 10 months ago – voted for by Hi_Sai

Last 5 Replies – All 596 replies »

• To all good Muslims who seek peace,
  

  Hey yeah…Arabic is written right to left. As with many other languages, it is pretty easy to read once you figure the alphabet. Thanks for this post Sans!
  Cookie Xx
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• Well I’m considering going to college in the UK.
  

  The UCAS Handbook would be an excellent resource for you (though it is expensive; your careers library may have a free reference copy?) It lists all of the universities in the UK in alphabetical order, along with commentaries and photos of each, specific info about the courses that they each offer, entry requirements, typical annual intake versus number of applications received, etc etc.
  You should also be able to obtain further specific info about these courses directly from the Undergrad offices at these universities.
  Hope this helps- best of luck!
  Cookie x
  Btw: You may want to check costs if you’re looking to study in London. Accomodation and living expenses are much higher there compared to the rest of the UK, and so are course entry fees for international students. As far as England itself is concerned, you generally find that the further up north you study (ie up from London) the lower the living costs become and the lower the course entry fees for international students, though this is somewhat a generalisation and there will be exceptions to this rule.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• What are good ways to deal with people on here who upset you?
  

  Exactly. You shouldn’t feel bullied out of doing something that you enjoy just because people take it upon themselves to be a$$holes. I just avoid it for a few days and then come back again. Idiots exist in all walks of life. Just one of those things unfortunately.
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• What are good ways to deal with people on here who upset you?
  

  Let them know what it is they do that narks you off, then leave well alone. If they have mental illness/ small-mindedness/ are childish, then it can’t be helped. I just keep busy doing other things that I enjoy and that people may appreciate.
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

• in physics what formula is it that you use to calculate power when you are given the energy and time?
  

  [quote Cookie Dough!][quote santon7]power = energey * time[/quote]
  
  Hey, I hope you realised that the above info is incorrect!
  
  POWER = ENERGY/ TIME (ie divided by, NOT multiplied by!!!)
  
  Check this link that explains it very simply:
  
  http://www.gcsescience.com/pen34.htm
  
  Hope this helps![/quote]
  
  Ermm…I think you’re missing the point. I was correcting santon and not spirate (as also shown in my quote). Anyhow, this is all getting a little pointless. I was making a basic point.
  - written 1 year, 6 months ago

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