med442's reply history at Help.com

Thanks I am starting to think on here it is a rare thing….Have a great evening…

If you two want to meet:
Make a plan, save money, stick to the savings game.
As I have learned in my years that love has no distance and REAL love doesn’t fade it just evolves into something more and more beautiful. If you are young as I suspect,set up some goals to find a way to meet. Once you have had an opportunity to meet then see how you feel. Things take time and when we are young it seems like an enternity….Believe in yourself that you can accomplish this goal of meeting your love…There are also many different levels of love, you will learn them as life goes on. Keep up the relationship in whatever way you can. If she loves you just the same she will wait and be patient..Love isn’t easy doll. You can do it!

Thanks Lil bit shi and everyone else who even took a moment to read this. Just got some bad news today and I am down. I try so hard to be up for my kido, given the situation and all. I really like to help and encourage people on here because I often can relate to their sadness and pains or maybe even experienced something similar. I just needed to release some of my own doubts and sadness and to put it out there because I am feeling down today. I don’t like to whine or complain just sometimes I feel like I need someone adult to listen. THANKS EVERYONE for being here and sharing your stuff too..

I agree with….

[quote Sorcerer1005]Why in the hell would he even ask that, thats the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, he’s totally in the wrong, “take some time to date other people” Oh so in other words he’s looking for some new “Pu**y” I think you should seriously think about what he just told you. Even if you all “IN LOVE” with him and all that, don’t be blinded to the truth. There is no “time” to see other people. If your just dating then don’t sweat it, move on, if you’ve been with him for a long time, it means he’s lost interest and probably found another women that’s totally swept him in. I’d say tell him “Oh see other people sure, but don’t come back, its over” Simple as that! :-) don’t fall for that ‘crap’ he’s spouting.[/quote]

There are other MEN in the world that wouldn’t do that.His is a PU**Y to say the least. Ditch him and time heals and so does moving on and meeting other people when you are ready….

Tee I agree……I was just making a little funny. She does need some help as this is not a normal way to express yourself or your sexuality….leave that stuff to the porno pros…

Whats next on her agenda……….a car a bus?

What the H***!!!Now first shoving things in places where the sun doesn’t shine can have lasting effects…in more ways than one.
ADVICE- Do not put naked pics of yourself on your phones,computers etc…you’d be suprised where they show up.One may seriously regret this later in life,especially if you are trying to get a job in politics or have a professional career. If the pics get loose and she wants to find a boyfriend later or soon in life she may have alot of explaining to do….he may not like it.
Nude photos are private they should remain that way. She may have more problems than what it looks like…..I would tell her if you are friends that you aren’t doing the judging but she should have thought about how this could affect her rep and how people perceive her…Talk to her, remind her that these things should be private and furthermore try to help her if she is doing this for some sort of attention. Now if she has problems with liking this a little too much she should seek out some therapy for her sexual issues. Stay out of the gossip game,that usually ends up bad for all involved..Objects that aren’t meant for that area should stay out of the sunless spot…there are things to put there but they also should be kept for the nudie to use in private. I sure hope that wasn’t a hot lava lamp……….OUCH.

Did you try google images?
Or Ask.com images?
www.imdb.com- put in dorothy day
www.catholicworker.com/cwo001.htm
just some ideas…have a wonderful day…

Have your tried calling the county or state where you live in to see if you qualify for some emergency assistance for the basics, food,electric,shelter?
I am really not an adovcate for using the system but if you are a single mom that doesn’t get help from the father, I would give it a shot at least until you catch up. Because if you had help with the basics like food, etc then you could put what cash you do have towards the other bills. I am not sure what exactly you are needing extra help with. Also, look around your house…See if there is some stuff you really don’t need or use and then try maybe selling on ebay it is easy.There are lots of help on the ebay site to show you how. Or if where you live isn’t too cold out have a garage sale. IF there are any medical bills then give the doctors office a call and set up a payment plan or even some medical outfits have a medical credit card that you can use. These can be sort of high interest but may help for the time being.
These are some money saving things that I do because I too am a single mom. I cut coupons and look online for stuff the we buy and eat regularly it helps cut down on the expensive groceries. I turn the heat down in my home and have us wear just some warmer clothes because the heat costs are so high were we live. When shopping for groceries I always make a list and try to stick with just the stuff we need. I try some generic foods and medicines.
You said that you have a 15 year old. Could he maybe help out? Like work part time a fast food place, deliver papers, just to cover some of his stuff like clothes and extras? I don’t know but maybe he already doing this?
Sometimes, just looking at the whole picture in a different perspective helps.
I do not recommend the pay day advance places they can do more damage than help in the long run.
Picking up a temporary part time job on the weekends if time and circumstances allow.It is tax time and there are lots of tax credits for working parents that have limited income so handle taxes and see if you can get a return and use that towards paying those bills off.
Also, if you have credit card debit call the card company and see if you can work with them to lower your rate if possible. Tell them you have another card that is offering a better rate and you would like to stay with that card company.
Have you looked at your total income versus what you owe each month? Put away or cut up those credit cards. Do you have cable an extra phone line, club memberships? Cut back or ditch those items. You may not really need them after all.
Also, I don’t know your circumstanvces with the child support. If you cannot get the Dad to pay, have you tried getting the state to help you? Because darn it, that is the least the Dad can do if he is still on the earth with us.
I hope that this at least prevokes some thoughts or ideas for. Good luck, being a single Mom is a tough thing. Give yourself a pat on the back for being a good Mom and being there for the kids. We should get paid better for that, just kidding…LOL
Take care, things have a way of working themselves out.

3:10 to Yuma. Russell Crowe is in it. Good western style action/drama
If you want to laugh, Mr. Woodcock…I laughed super hard.
This is kind of the time of year that you are waiting for new releases on DVD…well at least I am.

That would be him molesting you,rape,lots of other tags. It is NOT ok under ANY circumstances. He obivously has issues on multiple levels. It is scary to think he has a family of his own. What he could possibly be doing to his own children??? This is nothing to joke or kid about at all. Whether he meant it or not, its not ok. You should consider getting some counseling for this. Your family doesn’t neccessarily need to know what you are getting counseling for but I strongly recommend it. I am glad that you seem adjusted. In some states there is not a statue of limitations and he could be arrested and/or charged with sexual abuse,rape just to mention a few. I am not trying in the least to be mean here but would you be ok knowing that there is someone out there like your cousin who or even your cousin molesting little children? Forever changing and tramatizing their lives???
I wouldn’t be, I am sorry that you had to experience this. These things can affect your relationships like being intimate with others etc. Just because you didn’t say no and you were very very young it is not ok. These things should not be swept under the carpet and hidden away. What one persons molesting has done can affect more than one. Let me just throw an example out. Lots of people that have been molested either become molesters themselves or take to other crimes suffer from depression,chemical dependency issues, and some recover. Now I am not telling you that you are any of these above or judging you. Wait to see if you ever become a parent and see how your views would change…You didn’t deserve any of this.
Do not feel bad if you should ever choose to open this issue up, this is you we are talking about and every human has rights to be healthy in mind,body and spirit.Let alone some having some part of their childhood riped away. If you want more information there is alot of self help and guidance availiable for you. People care and people that have been molested before might just help shed some perspective on this for you. Here are some links and ideas for you. Being proactive and helping yourself is important to your longevity.
www.TheresNoExcuse.com

www.DailyStrength.org

www.RAINN.org - this is completely anonymous by the way.
Please take care of yourself. I wasn’t trying to harp just trying to help.

www.heartsandminds.org
www.childhelp.org
1-800-96-abuse this is in florida…Take care of yourself and let us all know how you are((HUG)) from a MOM!!!

Your Mom has some issues that she needs to deal with…You should not be hit! PERIOD, it is not acceptable! Mom needs some counseling and therapy. I think that you should talk to some other people who care about you and express your concerns, see if you could stay with one of them. Just because she doesn’t beat you hard doesn’t mean its ok,because abuse comes in all forms whether is is verbal or physical forms of manipulation,it is still no excuse.You didn’t do anything that deserves you to be hit. You need support too, try to find others in your area to maybe meet with.There are plenty of support groups for teens and adolescents that are free. Do some research online and check out stuff in your area.If she is hitting you this could be the beginning of bigger issues. Talk to a counselor at school,if you have health insurance do some checking some counseling and therapy may be covered.If you mom is curious about why you need this tell her you need some help with grieving,etc. The law is the law, and abuse is not ok. You Mom is not thinking clearly you should come first. I am a Mom, so have a hug from me doll.You deserve to be loved and respected,and home doesn’t seem real safe.Running away isn’t the answer,getting you some help and a safe place to be is the most important. Running away can lead to other things,call some friends or talk to one of your friends parents,they might be able to help too. Unfortunatley it might take the law to knock some sense into your Mom. If you Mom’s husband is a prevert than be very cautious and stay away from him. With kindness. med442

Well there are several options. Please first look at your expenses each month.Put a total to that. Then see what the two of you make each month after taxes and other deductions. IF your expenses are higher than what you two make each month then you need to make some immediate changes.Look at reducing the extras,premium cable packages, extra phones lines,lower cell phone minutes,turn down on your heat if you are somewhere that the climate is cold, throw on a hoodie or sweater.Make sure you are not running extra electronics,leaving too many lights on. If you have a membership to a fitness club, cancel it.Other hidden expenses like online memberships,etc…
If you are delinquent in any credit cards. Call them explain your financial situation.Alot of credit card companies will do a debt re-payment program at low interest rate.If you are behind on home payments call your mortgage company try to work with them on getting back on track. There are alot of debt consolidation companies but look for ones through like the United Way,etc. chartiable organizations that help with this probelm.
We in the US are full of excess. So try budgeting groceries cut coupons,limit going out to dinner,and all the extras
.Look at what each of you bring in each month after taxes and 401K stuff etc..If you have a 401K or retirement plan you can sometimes borrow from that. Give it a try..
If you two have extra toys like,ATV’s motorcycles,etc.sell them. If you have alot of stuff around your house go through it and see what you really need or don’t.You can sell stuff on ebay,too.Have a garage sale.
I would also try a line of credit and then consoildate all those other credit cards,then get rid of those credit cards. Use only your line of credit for paying off the debt.
Retail cards like from Macys etc are all very high interest rates so if you get transfer balances to a major card like a Visa or Mastercard the rates will be lower.
IF you two like to shop for clothes,electronics,etc…just stop spending so much.
Use cash only for paying for your neccessities like groceries and fuel.
If you are in more serious financial woes call and get some advice from a lawyer who does bankruptcies and debt relief,consults are free usually.
Keep in mind that bankruptcy does take 7 years to be off your credit report, but within 2 if you are careful you can begin to re-establish your credit.
You may need to sell your vehicles, and get something else if they are gas hogs. The market for selling your home is tough, so think carfully before you decide to do that.
If you are in a position yes sometimes a second job can help.If you have kids then go through their toys,clothes,etc. and stuff that isn’t used or doesn’t fit is fair game for selling at garage sale or ebay. Explain that they are helping out the family as a whole.
If your income fits guidlines for free help, then as a last resort visit your County,state websites that help with emergency funding for heat,electric,even cash sometimes.However, there are many people that are in a perfect position to help themselves but choose to suck off the system, so if you try that route keep in mind it should only be temporary to help you out.
Chop up those silly retailer credit cards,they are usually the highest interest ones. Making more debt with credit cards is a dangerous thing,so if you choose to transfer a balance to a lower rate card like Visa etc, put that Visa away and just work on paying it off.
I don’t recommend the pay day advance type outfits they are not good and can make things worse.
If you have IRS debt call them and try to set up a payment plan or try to settle for a lower amount.
Just go through everything with your hubby and remember there are tons of people in your position so you are not alone. Talk to your friends and family if they are a reliable source they may be able to help with other resources and ideas.
Good luck to you both. Make sure to love one another and keep laughing through this tough time.

Tell your coach that you are stressed out with personal stuff. You can always find comfort in support from people you trust.Do try to relax, it is just a game. Thinking positive knowing that this is just a hard time in your life. You are young and life changes so much as we get older,don’t be so hard on yourself.If b-ball is away for you to work through stuff just keep doing it. Excercise is an awesome way to blow off stress or help you think through stuff. Just one day at a time, and be good to yourself. Don’t give up, things take time to work themselves out.Give yourself a smile in the mirror next time you look at yourself, you obivously are a decent player at the game. We all have our ups and downs.