babacup's reply history at Help.com

I think if a person has cheated once, a marriage can stilled be saved, but it will take a lot of work by both people to make it work. But if it has happen more then once, It shows that they do not care enough to make it work. The relationship just needs to end.

You are going to flip flop back in forth on what you want. It is going to take time to figure out. It is not a decision you make in one night.

Why does he say he has been talking to her? If it was just for friendship, why did he not let you know about his new friend?

I had a feeling you would be back. My sister had trouble sleeping for a long time.

So, whats going through your thoughts right now?

I read through some of your old post. It looks like you have been unhappy in your marriage for a while now. This may be a blessing in disguise. Maybe it’s what you needed to help you make the decision on if this marriage can work or not.

For your school paper, you need to stop thinking about it and just start writing. Don’t try and put it all together or think it through, just start writing. The key here is don’t think. Just write. Don’t write a paper, just write. The words will just start to flow because like you said, you know all the information. Once you have written everything you know, go back and see how you can piece it together for a report.

I agree with everyone else, you are overdoing it. Take a day and just rest.

I know your emotions are on a roller coaster now, so do what littlenick said, just breath. You are going to get through this. You are going to be a stronger person when you come out the other end of this ride.

My sister went through this with her husband. It is hard and painful and a long process of healing if you choose to work it out.

If it was me, I would only stay with my husband if he went to marriage counciling with me. You have to find out what made him want to befriend another woman, because at this point, this is all you know he did. And for me, that is bad enough. My husband can have all the female friends he wants, as long as I know them, and about them. When he is doing it behind your back, that is when it is wrong. There is no excuse for it. So if they met or not, he has a relationship with another woman that he is hiding. Not acceptable in my book.

My sister talked to the other woman, and the other woman denied that their was any thing more then friendship, but in the end, she found out they did have a physical relationship as well. So if you call the other woman, it does not mean you will get truthful answers. I would just let her know that it is your husband she is talking to and you would appreciate it if she would not talk to him any more because you are working on your marriage. She may not even know he is married, so don’t be hateful to her, she may just be a innocent bystander.

Hold yourself together for those babies. They do not need to know anything is wrong. And please don’t forget to eat. My sister lost so much weight from the stress. So take care of yourself.

[quote Vyki]Hi Shie, have not read anybody elses posts so si know i will be repeating things. Cold heart pah! I have seen your name often enough in posts on here to know you are a kind and caring person and by the look of things in your post you will be doing the lad a favour as he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet and the only way for him to do that is to be dropped on them. Vyki x[/quote]
I second that. feel good about what you are doing. He seems to be the type of person who will not learn to be independent until he is forced into it. You offered your help and it would of been great if he used it for what it was meant for, but he didn’t, he took advantage of your kindness.

I also, meant to ask you, have you been abused physically or sexually?

Here is a list of negative thinking. Look for this type of thinking in your thoughts. Then challenge them, they are the depression, not you. Turn them around and look for even the slightest bit of positive in the situation. When you look, you find it.

Summery of the 8 types of thinking.

1. Always/never thinking : Thinking in words like always, never, no one, everyone, every time,
everything

2. Focusing on the negative: seeing only the bad in a situation

3. Fortune-telling: predicting the worst possible outcome to a situation

4. Mind reading: believing that you know what others are thinking , even though they haven’t told
you.

5. THinking with your feelings: believing negative feelings without ever questioning them

6. Guilt beating: thinking in words like should, must, ought, or have to

7. Labeling: attaching a negative label to yourself or to someone else

8. Personalizing: investing innocuous events with personal meaning.

9. Blaming: blaming someone else for your problem

Do you see that you use these types of thoughts alot? and if you do not understand any of them, I can explain them for you. To me it makes sense but it is not the first time I heard them. And I put the short versions.

I know someone on here that can learn through this. She needs to know nothing is tying her up, it is just her own thoughts of being tied, that keep her from moving forward.

another great post, thanks

Anonymous, it looks you are meant for bigger things in life. You have a special gift, being able to speak all those languages. You will find it will be a use in you life, that you can not even imagine at this time. The roads of our lives has so many twist and turns. You never know when a new road is going to open up and you will walk right into the life of your dreams. Keep your dreams alive. Your family will not control you forever.

Have faith in yourself. You have the skills and the strength to have a wonderful life.

not scar, embedding of a star under the skin

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgur…

If that worked right, it is a picture of someone with a star scar that is like a type of body art.

it looks like a scar to me. The way it is raised and the color.