babacup's reply history at Help.com

Somehow I missed the round table call, the good news is your website is showing up for me now. I will see how next tues day is going for my household. Hard to be on the phone when the kids are home. But it is a calm day around here. I will call in.

Happy Birthday Randy! I hope one day you will get to look at this post and know that your mom loves you and is always thinking about you. You are her life. Enjoy your 13th birthday. You are officially a teenager!

I know I have always wanted to be a foster parent and give a child the love and security of a healthy home. My family is not ready for such a huge commitment right now. But I feel that when my children are a little older and my husband is not traveling so much, that I will open my home to children in need.

That does have me thinking of looking in to orphanages. Or family homeless shelters.

Something else I had always thought of doing but do not know if anyone has a program like this, is helping teen moms. Being a mentor and helping them learn how to be the best parent they can be. Help give them the emotional support then need.

I feel your power building right back up. You will be back to your old self in not time. I am glad you are still here.

4 steps to forgiveness (forgiveness is complex and takes time)
*Discovery: Before you can forgive you must become aware of what happened and the emotional pain it caused you. If you desire to forgive something that happened recently, this phase is relatively easy- the situation is right in front of you. If you are dealing with the past, you may need to spend some time exploring your memory and feelings about matter.
*Decision: Forgiveness begins when you decide that you no longer want to carry your negative feelings along with you. This step requires a genuine willingness to heal and let go.
*Changing your Mind: This step is the real work of forgiveness. To release your feelings you must change how you think about the matter and the people involved. Try to see a higher perspective or perhaps understand the driving force behind the hurtful incident. Often others did not really act simply to hurt you. Rather, they were acting on their own negative feelings or misguided understanding.
Moving on: The steps above will help you to grow beyond the hurt and find some greater personal meaning in it. You can always find good - in even the most hurtful and limiting circumstances. The secret to forgiveness is to begin to appreciate how you have grown as a result of your circumstances. When you have this awareness, you can take your new wisdom and move on.

[quote most-wanted-websites]do you have any “expert” kind of knowledge (besides “early childhood development”)?

I don’t mean a degree / certificate, I mean what you *know* — like stuff you have simply learned in any way at all….[/quote]
I would say I know a lot about depression. I went to a seminar that the library had on depression. I was disappointed because I did not learn anything new.
Is that a certified nursing assistant? I think I would enjoy working with disabled children.

[quote ma3m3]There is something you can do that my sister did. You can go to a program that takes about 2 months to get certified, and become a CNA. Then you can go work in a home for disabled children. It’s really easy, cheap, and my sister loves it. It’s pretty much that or volunteer work. Good luck![/quote]

I have tears running down my face. This touched my heart.

[quote EmilyRI]Take an Intro to Counseling class or read the book “The Skilled Helper” by Gerard Egan.[/quote]

I am going to the library today. I will see if they have this book.

[quote slimline2]Retirement Villages .My wife is a Volunteer and she likes it 2 Days a Week ..[/quote]

I have thought of that too, I am feeling drawn to to help youth. But I also tend to talk to the elderly at church. They just want to talk, and I love to listen to what they have to say.

I am going to research places and see where this leads me.

Thank you

Thank you

Yes I do want to go back to school. I want to start taking one class a semester. I have not looked into it too much yet. We just moved to a new state and this is the first time the kids are in school full day. But it has been my plan to further my education in this area.

I have been following links through the Samaritan site I found. Right now I found a place in my area that is working on educating the public.

The Samaritans do not have a local office in my area I am still going to call and get information from them.

I do not know if I am quite ready for a suicide hotline yet. I know I have a gift and I know I have the skills, I think right now I need to have the confidence. I also am a little concerned that it can bring on my own depression. (which I am very good at handling and dealing with) I need to know I can handle other’s pain. I know I do fine here on help . com , but occasionally it can be overwhelming.

Kibble- thanks for the kind words

Thanks, I am looking up the Samaritans right now.

I agree that you should walk away. There is a reason he is having all these problems in his life and it is not to be blamed on a crazy ex. Sounds like he brings trouble with him. He has a lot of unresolved problems that he needs to work on before he thinks of trying to start a new relationship.

Don’t let yourself get dragging into his problems.

I think everyone on this site can understand. That was amazingly well written.

My husband had the same type of father. I do not understand it. But when my husband was around your age, he was bigger then his dad. He kicked his dad’s *** and it put a end to it. But like I said, he was much bigger then his dad at this point.

I think fathers like yours and my husband’s father, use their strength to intimidate their children. When their son’s are getting to the age that they are worried they can fight back, they feel they need to challenge them. To try and prove they are stronger then you.

I think not fighting back is what is best. Don’t let him build up your anger. Don’t let him drawl you into his problem.

Do you have a mom or other family around if he gets out of hand? If not, keep the phone close and don’t hesitate to call for help.