AshleyAnemia. (:'s reply history at Help.com

[quote Dominique Francon]that’s good… just lead him on so you can crash and burn.[/quote]

… I’m freaking out. (Normal).
Care to elaborate?

[quote xxdr.qwertyx]You want what you don’t have, your not going to be out of this perfectly happy, just do what seems right in the end.. you wont regret it.[/quote]

Whell.
It’s pretty much over. ;o
Or atleast he knows and expects it to be.
I’m afraid to say anything right now.
I’ll let him think what he thinks.

[quote Dominique Francon]Yeah… well- Good. If you’re done… then be done.[/quote]

No no no.
That’s my problem.
If I’m done, I don’t want to be done.
If I’m not done, I want out, I want it to be done.
This is confusing.

[quote Dominique Francon]He seems o think it’s a joke (winking smiley)

Take it as a joke.. if he means it- eventually he’ll break up with you… but it seems like he is joking.[/quote]

Oh. He’s serious.
@____@ ((i like making this face)).
I uh, have done it before.
So, he can “sense” something’s up.

http://help.com/post/264869-i-wish#my…
(all of it)

http://help.com/post/261987-im-back-d…
(last post)

THIS SHOULD HELP. O_O

John says (5:15 PM):
Gonna dump me yet?
;D
ashley says (5:15 PM):
You think I’m doing this why?
John says (5:15 PM):
‘cuz you should
John says (5:16 PM):
i dunno?
you know you’ve wanted to.
ashley says (5:16 PM):
Since when?
John says (5:17 PM):
i dunno
i know nothin at all
ashley says (5:17 PM):
obviously. @_@
John says (5:17 PM):
really.

—————-
I do, but then I don’t.
@_@

[quote Evie]Okay, so your confused about everything? your mind is blank you are upset and pointing out facts which you think it is rooted from?

Maybe find another way of thinking in this life, School brings children up to think like the government, and keep them under control because they dont want anarchy, but theres TONS… i mean, if your agnostic or deist or just philosophically speaking.. or politcally. You can help yourself move along in life if you find whats best for you, Im sure you will get through this current money situation, credit crunch its affecting everyone![/quote]

Indeed.
But! It’s really not simple for me.
http://help.com/post/261987-im-back-d…
Last post.
;o I talk about this situation and old ones with this person before.
I have other posts just like it. o_O

[quote Grim_Hardcastle][quote .ashley[INDIAN.BOB]][quote Grim_Hardcastle]
I know what you`re talking about. I do not rely on anyone cause i don`t want anybody involved with my problems. Also i`m a pleaser and i need to be keeping everyone happy at all times.
What i meant earlier is that even though you don`t have the support in form of a person with you, you got support here. You can always come here, share and get understanding and supportive words. This is going to help a lot.[/quote]
It does help a lot. ;o
But, there’s just this one big problem that always happens with me.
I don’t know what to do about it.
Half of the time, it’s fine.
Then I don’t like it.
But, I stay. Then I want to leave.
It’s just like. I don’t even know.
My thoughts are bi-polar?
I don’t know what to do.
People ask me what I want to do about it, but I don’t know!
That’s why I come here.
It makes sense and when I do try to make it right, then it’s not what I want.
I then regret it and come here to talk about it.
So confusing for me.[/quote]

I see. Now that`s gonne take it`s toll on anyone who experience it.
It`s hard when one is torn inside like that. I`ve experienced much of the same. Cowardly i stay away from relationships. I think i need to sort something out inside before i get involved in such a thing.

You need to remember yourself in this prosess. Don`t let your urge to be nice to others get in the way of your own happiness. Sometimes you have to look after yourself too.[/quote]

I try to look after myself, but it doesn’t seem fair to me. I don’t know why. I just think that way. I’d rather help someone else instead of myself and then, I never help myself and therefore i never know what to do when the time calls for it.
I’m scared of what to do as well. Because I’m so confused about it all.

[quote Shinigami-Love]Do you know that cause of this big problem? You could then root down and try and prevent it from occuring again?[/quote]

AHHHH. That’s to much to re-type out. o.o
Might as well go to the bathroom, get a drink and some popcorn if you wanna try and help me with this one. A lot of reading. Seriously.

[quote Evie]Money isnt everything, we could all do with it, a relationship with no problems, Well thing about it, Your just levelling it out for it to be good, so it would fit in with everything else “good” and levelling has no individuality… so You might want a few problems in a relationships because then in the end it makes it stronger, plus its interesting. The way you think changes how you feel about hurting people.
Maybe if you think if you help yourself, your helping others, because people care about you, so they will be happy your doing something for yourself.

Theres no point in saying I wish,
You might aswell say I will get… Be more optimistic about it :)

(You can relate songs to situations like this, it doesnt help but they get catchy and cool xD so for your relationship kinda problem listen to Onto the next one from Escape The Fate xD )[/quote]

Lawl. I just want a bit more money to help out my parents. My mom might quit her job and look for another one. My dad HATES his new boss. It seems I make more money and my family borrows from me. I can only complain and wish they got paid more. For example, I wish the gov. crisis was over. Gah.

Helping myself only will make things worse in my relationship. Also, considering the fact that I’m more confused about it for some reason.

Oh. Believe me. I’m optimistic alright.

[quote Grim_Hardcastle]
I know what you`re talking about. I do not rely on anyone cause i don`t want anybody involved with my problems. Also i`m a pleaser and i need to be keeping everyone happy at all times.
What i meant earlier is that even though you don`t have the support in form of a person with you, you got support here. You can always come here, share and get understanding and supportive words. This is going to help a lot.[/quote]
It does help a lot. ;o
But, there’s just this one big problem that always happens with me.
I don’t know what to do about it.
Half of the time, it’s fine.
Then I don’t like it.
But, I stay. Then I want to leave.
It’s just like. I don’t even know.
My thoughts are bi-polar?
I don’t know what to do.
People ask me what I want to do about it, but I don’t know!
That’s why I come here.
It makes sense and when I do try to make it right, then it’s not what I want.
I then regret it and come here to talk about it.
So confusing for me.

*last month = however months ago. Lawl. (Sorry. xD)

[quote Shinigami-Love]good, haha been kicking myself over this for ages XD

is there anything I can do? or should i just leave it alone?[/quote]

You could casually bring it up.
;o

You: So, yeah. I’ve been wondering about last month. Remember I gave you a card? I didn’t get a thank You. WHATS UP WITH THAT!? xD

[quote Shinigami-Love]With life come complications, I guess for everyone there is something that hammers into the back of your mind telling you that life isn’t the way it should be. Just be sure to play in the moments your allowed, otherwise life wouldn’t be any fun.[/quote]

It’s not fun for me. I keep screwing up and it hasn’t been so fun for a while.

[quote Anonymous]With a little time and patience i’m sure they will :-)[/quote]

D: Not with me. It’s a pattern..

[quote Grim_Hardcastle]Well. Many people wish the same.
I don`t think anybody can resolve your issues.
You have to do that all by yourself.
But you can get support in the prosess.
It helps a lot to have somebody by your side when your going through the rapids.
Someone who tells you: Don`t worry, everything is going to be all right.[/quote]

I just dislike hurting someone or making them uncomfortable to the point where it bothers me. Because I know I can’t hurt them. So, basically. It blurs the line of my needs and people around me. I can like sacrifice my happiness for others to keep theirs.
I have supportive people of help.com.
None is the reality of my life where I live.
So, I can’t do a few things I’d wish I could do now because no one is there to be there with me when I make that choice. Ehhh.

You should feel this way.
;o
I would.

I’m still having issues.
Will they ever be worked out? *sigh*