i mean the last two close friends i had were women that i started to have feelings for during the course of the friendship, and they didn’t, the last girl in particular really understood me and was a fantastic friend, and the sort of friend that i want to keep around forever, but then my feelings sneak up on me and i started to fall for her, i have been hurt too many times over the years and really don’t believe i can have a good relationship, so now i just want that close friendship that i had found without my heart getting involved, and becoming jealous when they meet other people, - written 4 months, 2 weeks ago