LocoLamigra31's shout trail with ~willard~ - Help.com

Ill check it out. Lifes pretty f-ed up for me too… no excuses nesecary

hey i made a post =( I haven’t been responding much on here because life has been stressful fyi

No problem willard you are I couldn’t say those things if they weren’t true! right? you are a positive person with a lot ahead your stronger willed then some stupid anxiety kick that things ass like I would a 8 year old crippled kid =)

Awwww thank you. That was very sweet! Your a really cool person yourself!

you work at a law firm, your smart, your beautiful, you have stayed strong and haven’t killed your self, you have a great out look on life, you have a good head on your shoulders, you helped me a few times, your just you =)

Why am i amazing?

willard you are amazing!

How you are raised sets you up for when you start your own life. I wasnt even aloud to start my own life until i turned 19! And that wasnt even my parents choice, it was mine cuz i couldnt take the emotional and physical abuse.

Im not trying to play the blame-game, even tho i believe my parents are much at fault. They are the type of parents that use “I gave you life” an excuse for everything. If i cant give them money or food or a ride anywhere they use it against me like im so evil for nbot thinking of others 100% of the time and so that is what i have done my whole life and it has NEVER been enough so i am trying to change now and its hard as hell!!! Is it really too much to ask for a bit of help and support as im trying to do this?? But to them im being selfish!

I didnt have a great childhood either I’m still used and abused by people and back stabbed…you need to just forget the haters…”I’d rather have money come in then let haters make a name off me.” Willard you are worth something people will use you time and time again it’s greed and evil…just be positive I have to go for now and lift…will be back later.

Yeah im trying really hard but it wasnt working so i have an appointment to go see a therapist. My parents used us (me and my brothers) as they raised us so i dont have any self-worth…

So you let others determine your life your mood? That is no way to live…I used to do the same thing and I was just as depressed. It is a long and hard path to get out of but you need to know you are worth something you are a human being your life is amazing. You need to enjoy nature enjoy simple things…embrace the love you have from your bf etc.

I wish i actually gave a crap about myself and i HONESTLY dont know how… yes i know when i do things right and/or well. I know what i have in my life and i know what i need to work on. i have NO self-esteem or self-worth or anything along those lines.

Willard,

I understand I have had that struggle but you need to remember humans aren’t machines we need to have a purpose. Just set small goals…what in your life do you wish to improve?

Im so down right now… this weekend sucked major monkey ball$!!!!!!

Everyday i ask myself “how the heck are you going to make it to tomorrow???” and most of the time i have no answer.. actually i never have an answer because truthfully, i never know how i can do it. Its a surprise each day when i wake up just to know i made it to the morning…

Willard,

I am glad you know I am here for you like I said that one day when i thought it was you ready to do something bad I was willing to give you the digits because I know what it’s like not to have a single soul to count on. I wish and will pray to watch over you because you are a friend =) while we have different religions we are still people that are here for a reason or something.

You think i suffer from those instead? Im not sure about bi-polar but im sure i have anxiety. I found a therapist so im going to start seeing him and hopefully he can help me sort out whats going on in my life. Im glad your here for me. Its hard to find decent people to talk to know days! And just know i will always do the same for you.

Hey help.com wasn’t letting me load your post until now…and just if you get off of them one of the secrets that drug companys keep from you is the withdrawls…like any drug if it’s heavy enough…how ever if you can save up money go get a proper diagnosis you suffer from anxiety rather then depression or bi polar rather then those 2 any ways I am always here for you except when help.com breaks down =) but any ways what else is going through your head I’m here for you.

Posted about my dyslexia assessment results if your interested…

No theres nothing you can do really… thank you for listeneing.

No one will. It’s all in your head and just keep fighting remember the fight in life isn’t over until your pushing daisys. Is there anything I can to help ya?

Ya sorry about that. You said you wanted the whole story right? lol

I am trying to stay strong. Depression is a symptom of hypoglycemia, along with a bunch of stupid things. Its really been an eye-opener tho.

I dont know what else to say.. i seem to be lost for words after that last shout. LOL!

And ive been crying everyday for the last like 3 or 4 days. All this shit is hard and i hate that it all fell on me. Sometimes i wish i didnt have this mantality but then i think.. if i dont have it in my fmaily, who will?

Willard,

That was definetly a mouth full, but yes I do know to a certain extent what your going through. I battle my own struggles of depression daily I try not to let it get to me and it has taken a lot of learning and praying for me to be able to even get past half of it. Like right now I am completely sad and want to cry just because I am what seems to be a lone, I don’t even know. How ever Willard your doing very well at life for the shitty cards its been giving you. Just keep hanging in there and if your boyfriend loves you he will do his best to stay strong for you. Don’t even trip don’t let other peoples actions and lives run your life or else you will fall into a hole that isn’t easy to get out of. For eating small meals my best advice is to pre make them on sundays or when you have an off day just do that so you don’t cook or get stressed out. Your such a beautiful girl don’t let life bring you down your still young you have soo many possibilities left.

Wow! That was a lot bigger then i expected it to be… sorry!

Ok… Ummm my boyfriend is still unemployed and his unemployment is about to run out. Not sure whats going to happen there. Im worried that ll the stress form me is earing him down yet he tells me it isnt. Sometimes the things people say, say more then what actually comes out of your mouth.

When i was walking to me car to go to work this morning my room mate was just getting home. I said “did you know the door wasnt shut all the way?” and he started to verbally attack me! “Ya sure point it out since ive only been gone 20 minutes” and BS like that. I didnt know he wasnt gone that long and i wasnt accusing him of anything. UGH! He is the biggest a-hole on the planet!

My hypoglycemia. Its a daily challenge that i cant get away from. I have to learn to eat 6-7 small meals per day and so far all i can eat is small snacks and one big meal. Its gay and i hate it! Feeling weak all the time…

My dyslexia. I had an assessment that shows my cognitive skills (thinking/learning skills) and today is the follow up. They are going to go over what they found out about me.

My brother. He is just as bad as me with hypoglycemia and dyslexia and he ignores it purposly. i dont want the hypo to kill him one day. He cant afford food (literally) and his room mate eats everything that he can afford and doesnt buy him more. So were trying to find a big house for me my bf, room mate, and my brother. Hes 19 but i want to help him because he wont!

And the worst part is that my parents didnt pay attention to me AT ALL!!!!!! I did EVERYTHING for them when i was growing up. Nothing i ever did was good enough cuz it was always about them. Never the kids. They all thought i had anger issues instead of a real problem and just blew it off and punished me when i couldnt do things right.

I feel like a sh*tty excuse for a human being and trying to straighten that out and not be mad at my parents at the same time… UGH!!!! If you only knew all the syptoms i have to deal with each day.

Willard,

Yes I want the story on all of them because I am your friend want to listen and help you work things out.

you want the story on all of them?

Willard,

Seems like there is a lot on your mind what about each situation? I hope your health appointment goes well, so what about your boyfriend? room mate? etc.

WHats on my mind right now? Wow… havent had someone ask me that in a while. Ummm… too much to decide on one thing.

Work, my dyslexia (which my follow up appointment is today!), my health and my hypoglycemia, my boyfriend, my brother, my dumba$$ roommate who bitched at me for f88king reason this morning, and more…

So what’s on your mind right now?

Im trying. Thank you.

Willard,

We all go through those times where life gives us lemons and all that stuff and just know no matter what if I can offer advice or know some 1 who could help I will give you the best advice I can. Keep ya head up.

Thank you. That means a lot to me. Im just struggling really hard right now. I am just starting to tackle things that should have been taken care of a long a$$ time ago. SO i have to deal with them all at once. Its hard and its wearing me down really bad.

Willard,

Just wanted to tell your a strong amazing woman and hope your keeping it strong never forget there are people who care about you! =) thank you for reading this.

Ryan =D

Hey… i tried that Fitday.com and its awesome! It helps a lot. Not with the weight loss part cuz i really dont and should lose weight. My BMI is 20.39 or something like that so for me who is 5′6 and 129 lbs… im in the health range! Thank you!!!!

Have you seen my posts today? Im having such a horrible all ive managed to do is cry!

awww what’s up willard?

no.. im not ok

hey willie! lol just kidding what’s up you doin okay!?

what about wet willie lol kidding but yeah i understand…so any ways that girl that i had posted about the bri one…i just came out and told her how i felt and she said awww thanks your so sweet and she was like well i want to hang out a few times and see where it goes from there good yeah?

lol… no it didnt work, at least for me it didnt. But its very original. Im doing ok… you can look at my latest post to see…

hey i lost my number can i have yours lol new pick up line did it work? ha ha. hope you have a great day/night hope your doin swell!

lol.. we CAN be great friends! lol! Im not a big fan of hot weather. Id rahter be able to wear my jeans with sweaters and boots! Fun!!!! And it keeps me a heck of a lot warmer! lol… my bodies just really werid and i havent been able to figure it out yet.

Anyways… im not going to be at work long this morning… im off to Vegas at noon with my boyfriend! Woot woot!!! Family affair and NO were not getting hitched at some little chapel! hahaha! Have a good weekend and im sure iw ill chat with you monday.

hey willard,

lol i know it’s a turn off that’s why i only ask girls on here =) other then that every girl i know thinks that i walk aruond knowing i’m the shit =D help.com is a release of a bubble of some awesome bubblicious magnatude for me =) i mean my myspace.com is what all my friends see sooo in a way we are really good friends cause you see the side of me no 1 see’s =D and who the hell said we can’t be really great friends anyways!? hell i thought about moving to cali or arizona anyways lol i love hot weather. but probably wont happen but anyways hit me up asap i guess..lol

And no, people dont always have a sub-consious meaning when they say i love you. Sooo many people just throw the word love around like a toy and now it has lost its meaning. Or its has made it stronger in some situations…. i just dont want you to get too excited if she turns you down. It would probably confuse you too since she did say she loved you…

Im not trying to bring you down in any way! Im sorry! If your really interested in her then go for it! Just you dont always have to ask girls if they think you are attractive or if they are interested in you. Its not the the biggest turn-on and why would we want to be put on the spot like that? You seem like a really cool guy and i bet we would be really good friends and hang out all the time if we were closer but were not :(

I wish you all the luck on your guys’ date!!!!

i know lol that she didn’t mean like in love just like i said some times there is a sub conscience meaning behind the thing i’ve read and studied a lot of human behavior and i was just trying to get an idea of maybe she is interested in dating…and i don’t act like every single girl i meet im going to marry i do handle things in a dating scenario get a gf etc….and i know i’m fairly young i just like to observe and check out to see what exactly is going on… but in reality yes i do like her we seem to be fairly compatable…which is why i asked if she seemed interested cause we do have fun when we talk just gotta see if the chemistry is there in person as well…

lol… friends for sure! And IF me and my boyfriend break up… thats when we would see but i doubt that will happen so… i will check out your post and see what i can tell ya.

oh i know lol i wasn’t suggesting you do cheat i just wanted your opinion =D but yeah i invited you to this issue i am having with this myspace girl…trying to figure things out… but anyways lol idk if your joking or kidding but if yall do break up who knows hell your definetly a beautiful woman! but for sure always friends though =)

Oh i didnt know you had asked me butif you would like me to then here it is…

I think your cute! lol… you have good qualities about you and being positive is def one of them! i commented on one of your myspace photos.. i really liked that one, you looked really good in it. Especially your smile. Its a keeper!

But you do know that i have a boyfriend and cheating is the farthest thing from my mind, as it will always be. If i were signle and we met… thats a different story. LOL!!!!!!

The world works in mysterious ways and maybe we were brought together to be good fiends or to help each other out on things… idk!

Hey willard,

So I guess I just want to know if you think I”m attractive or not you never erally did answer the question =P