stevah's reply history at Help.com

Draculo,
So sorry to hear that you have a bad diagnosis. Are you sure that means a bad prognosis? What are the particulars/details of your condition. Many cancers are beatable.
Stevah

Hi,
Just to insert a technical point here (no pun intended)…everyone is assuming that you had sexual intercourse. If your “friend’ broke your hymen with his finger and you bled slightly, then you are still a virgin.

Hymens are frequently disrupted/broken by some exercises like ballet dancing or gymnastics, cheerleading, etc.

If that was the case, then although you were on the slippery slope, your
progress was thankfully interupted by a lack of communication skills and
also maturity.

Although that may sound like fightin’ words to some…fact is, I suspect
that you haven’t graduated highschool yet and so you (or he) could not possibly (at such a young age) be expected to have the maturity to deal with a sexual situation outside of marriage, as you are finding out.

Either way it’s a life lesson for you on how easily the communication part of romance becomes a minefield for the emotions.
S.

I wish I had answers for you but only questions for you.
…would you do it again?
…if not why would it be different?
…what would you do differently to make it different.

Did you ever hear the saying, “males dabble in love for sex and females dabble in sex for love”?
What is wrong with this?

Is this really about what he says you did, or what you did?
Is it about how he is acting (he doesn’t know how to act…he is brand new at this, just like you).
If you want to know the secret of who your friends are…don’t have sex with them for 1.5 years. If they are still hanging out with you and you’re having fun, you found a good friend.
The secret is … imagine your crotch is a Mercedes. You don’t have to let anybody drive it unless you really want them to.
Good luck
Steve