druantia8's reply history at Help.com

no i;ve been sleeping really well latley. I thought maybe because i have sinus problems it may have put presure on my eyes and busted some capillaries. is that possible.

other than all your acomplishments do you anything that makes you happy? Anything aside from what you are socially expected to do. Sometimes i feel like i just go through the motions. I have a great life but it doesnt seem like enough. Mas1s is right you do need to talk to someone figure out what is trigering this. from my interpretation it sounds like you arent very happy despite all the things you have accomplished. and thats not nessecarly bad thing it might just mean that what you are doing is not what you want to do.

i talked to him, he said he understand and he wont spend time with her alone. thanks guys

[quote rstarzboxer]Ummmm…. if they are still attracted to each other that much, does he really then truly love you? I think you need to look much deeper into this and maybe face the hard truth.[/quote]

He says he doesnt find her attractive.
I guess my issue and im not goign to lie about it is that I’ve been lied to so many times that i just kind of expect it to be a lie.

[quote Da-11]Oh, I’m sorry that does change things a bit.

If you can’t trust him, then there is no point in the relationship. However your feelings aren’t unwarranted and as a cheater he does deserve them. What you should do is tell him you really aren’t comfortable but that you will not stop him from seeing this girl and that its up to him. Talk to him about not argue as he has not done anything wrong and you already forgave him for his past. When you tell him you aren’t comfortable make sure you tell him its because of his past with this girl and not just because she is a girl. Then let him do what he wants, you forgave him and now you need to live with it.

However my opinion is that he should consent to your wishes, not because you told him you don’t want him to go, but because he shouldn’t want to go knowing that it upsets you.

Good luck.[/quote]

your right i did forgive him for those things, i should just suck it up and be a big girl. I like to think i follow the philosophy - i’m only accountable for my actions the rest i cant control. its hard to try not to. there is always that possibility. we live in a world were anything is possible and its hard to deal with it when you just want to know for sure that things will work out the way you want them too.

thanks tho. alot of the things you have said make sense

the girl in question hasent been one of the girls he’s betrayed me with. They just used to hang out and fool around. and its for that reason that im worried i mean they used to be attracted to each other and they would be alone. that to me spells a receipe for disaster. She knows he has a girlfriend but went through the trouble to get his number by contacting like 5 people. I think its a bit to much effort to just hang out (but im not sure if im just being paranoid). I dont think he would do anything but if she did i dont think hed turn her down.

[quote Snar][quote druantia8]I thought this was help.com not *****.com. But i guess thats what you get when you mix in all the pretention and judgement around here. grow up. its people like you who are turning a good thing into a place were people are scared and embarrassed. If I wanted that I’d just go back to my old high school. The Irony here is that a place were you should be able to communicate how you feel with honesty is actually just a place that you get judged.

we are all looking for answers. some of us our questions are more easily answered than others. some of us will never find answered. dont you dare try to make me feel as though i have edit my though process because you either dont understand or dont care.

If you dont have anything constructive to say keep it to yourself you are not helping anyone.[/quote]

Im sorry that you feel so offended, If I may at least defend myself if not others on here. I personalyl see people who come on to spam, and I think its well within my right to ***** about them. And if they have the right to make spam posts, then surely I can at least criticize it? I see that you have taken this personalyl however I feel you are not at least understanding the context of our criticism. If anyone has a problem, i will NEVER fault them for making a post. If you ask “do you like cheese?”… I may be a little skeptical.

I’m sorry you don’t feel this is constructive, I do however because there HAS been an influx of spammers and I think its an important topic to discuss. I See the real irony in saying that this is not constructive, or helping anyone… so we should keep it to ourselves. Yet we are attacking spammers who are not helping anyone or being constructive, and are NOT keeping to themselves and you are defending them.

IT is probably a confusing among contexts that is creating this desparity in opinions between us. I’m not going to take your remarks as inflamatory though they very well could be. I am not a bully, I am not a person who is going to sit back and *****… so please don’t accuse me of that. Because THAT makes ME feel like I’M in my elementary school.[/quote]

well i am glad you clarified what you were trying to get accross. Context is definatly something that needs to be understood. I’m sorry if you felt as though i was being condesending. that was not my intention. however i hope you can appreciate where i am coming from; though it does not seem to apply to you. im sorry for my misdirected accusations.

I had a similar problem i went to see someone about it recently. she told me to try journaling to try and figure out what trigers it.
do you know what might cause the way you feel?

I thought this was help.com not *****.com. But i guess thats what you get when you mix in all the pretention and judgement around here. grow up. its people like you who are turning a good thing into a place were people are scared and embarrassed. If I wanted that I’d just go back to my old high school. The Irony here is that a place were you should be able to communicate how you feel with honesty is actually just a place that you get judged.

we are all looking for answers. some of us our questions are more easily answered than others. some of us will never find answered. dont you dare try to make me feel as though i have edit my though process because you either dont understand or dont care.

If you dont have anything constructive to say keep it to yourself you are not helping anyone.

I agree that you can chose to let sadness and depression define who you are and its very easy for someone to think that it is all they are. But i wouldnt agree that people make themselves sad and depressed. i mean if we make ourselves depressed then wouldnt it be just as easy to make ourselves happy . It sounds like your calling us a bunch of sadists. Of course there are great things in all our lives but those arent the things we need help with. I think that, that kind of judgement should be reserved for people who do nothing to help themselves, but for the most part i see people reaching out on this site everyday, looking to be happy and looking to have the happiness exceed the sadness.

that is awesome bonnie!!

[quote ¶Ǻ§Ђ ♂♀]!!Nice Lecture!!
yea thats true and is going on now a days. we cant really stop this. This all is too much. The world is going to end. there are more pains than ever, there are more sorrows and sufferings than ever. no one in this world can claim that he is living happily. everyone has problems and sorrows in his life.
I just say that there is nothing left now. this world will really come to END one day.[/quote]

I Disagree i think we can change the world. and people like iamozy are here to remind us that we can. if we all can find it within ourselves to do this (what iamozy suggests), it might very well reverbarate into all areas of society. Im sorry to quote rage but “it has to start somewhere”.
I think the sorrow and suffering we face it the world isnt necessarly worst i think its just differant than it used to be. its more internalized . the accounts of depression have risen significantly over the years.
I dunno i would like to think that the world has a regenrative force to it and we have the strength and power to perpetuate it.

thank you for that! i really appreaciate a post like that. and i feel very much the way you do about it. only my downfall is i rely on others to initiate this type of attitude. But your absoutley right one should find it within themselves.

i completley agree bonnie. its hard at first to keep at it but i find its the best tool. my brother is the one who planned the trip for me because i was in one of those ruts he made the steps i couldnt argue. but ever since then its been like a snow ball affect and iv been making other plans and i just feel so happy.

thank you I really appreaciate that!

Maybe I will. :)
Dont get me wrong I have gotten some really good help from people here. and i definatly see the value. i guess maybe iv been focasing to much on the things i feel are negative as opposed to the things that are positive