james_liverpool_uk's profile at Help.com

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james_liverpool_uk's Top (4) Replies by other users' votes

• (2 votes) hey my name is rachel and i live in fairbanks alaska, im 15 and pregnant.
  

  Hi Rachel,
  Try looking at this from your parents perspective a bit. I hope they will be supportive, but right now they’ve had a real big shock. Okay, I know you need a lot of support, and maybe their reaction wasn’t ideal, but you’re going to have to work this one out with them. You’re going to have to, because you’re not an adult, so they’re in charge to a certain extent.
  First things. If your bf is about your age, then he’s probably okay, but if he’s several years older than you, then yes, he could be in real trouble with the law. At 15, the law says you’re too young to be able to decide whether or not you’re old enough for s**. You may think that’s total nonsense, but that’s what the law says.
  Second, at 15, you’re very, very young to be thinking about getting married. Like very young. I’m not saying that marriage isn’t a good thing, and I’m hoping that your bf is the most amazingly wonderful person and that your marriage lasts fifty years and is incredibly happy. But the odds of that are not real good, and that’s what your parents will think when you tell them you want to marry him.
  You are going to have to make peace with your parents. You’re in the wrong, and you’re going to have to be humble and apologetic. It’s no good telling them you’re mature and you want to leave home. You can’t do this on your own, either legally or emotionally. You need ‘em Rachel.
  I don’t suppose this is really what you want to hear… But I mean it well.
  
  And finally, good luck! Be strong, you’ll need to be.
  
  - written 5 months, 2 weeks ago – voted for by sansceriph, babacup

• (1 vote) Why do some men trade their women in for someone younger when they turn about 40 ?
  

  Lol! I wonder why you ask? Are you helping a friend to whom this has just happened? Or has your bloke done it to someone else in his past and you’re wondering if he’s just a bad guy? Or maybe it’s just curiosity? But no matter, you don’t have to give your motive on help.com… :o)
  Ok, before anyone flames me (as if anyone would), I haven’t left my wife for a younger woman. We’re still happily married - 15 years this year. I’ve even survived a mid-life crisis without either having an affair or buying a convertible sports car. But men do, perfectly nice, respectable men, have an affair, fall in love, leave their wives for their new love. And the word the world usually sticks on this is mid-life crisis.
  What is your midlife crisis? It’s the realisation that your life has turned out very odd. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my kids fiercely. But when I was a teenager, I had all sorts of plans and dreams. But getting a job, getting a mortgage, having two kids, and spending most of my time making money to pay for said house and kids… I don’t remember dreaming that one. But that’s what my life has turned out like. That’s what most men’s lives turn out like, and not many of them have dreamed that dream. It was my wife who really wanted to buy a house. That’s not uncommon. It was my wife who wanted to start a family. That’s not uncommon. I went with both things, because I love her and I want her to be happy, and I don’t regret either of them. But they weren’t my dream.
  And then you get to about 40. Your parents start getting old, and you realise that they’re mortal, and that’s a really, really big shock, I can tell you. And the nature of forever changes. When you’re young, to promise to love someone forever is very different, because then you think you’ll live forever. But when you start hovering round middle age, you realise that you’re slap bang in the middle of forever. And each year is whistling past quicker than the last one. And that you’ve never had a convertible sports car, and that if you don’t get one soon, you’ll look ridiculous in it.
  And sometimes you just want to start again. Find someone new, and start again, and see if it doesn’t work out differently this time. It doesn’t, by and large, but the desire to start…
  Look, I’m not a bad man, and I love my wife passionately, and I love my kids to bits, and I’m very, very lucky, and I know it, and my life is very, very happy, and i know it. And yet, if someone offered to trade my life for what’s behind door #2, it would be a wrench not to take it.
  :o)
  So don’t be too harsh on a guy if he gives in and tries to start again. It’s less of a man’s world than the feminists would believe.
  
  - written 4 months, 3 weeks ago – voted for by seeuseeme

• (1 vote) I have a guy friend who always tells me about all my imperfections.
  

  Don’t believe him. ‘Imperfections’ are usually just matters of opinion. My wife is too tall, her nose is too big, her boobs are too small and her butt is too big. That’s her version, I don’t agree with any of it.
  Funnily enough I have a friend who’s almost the opposite. She’s too short and her boobs are too big. But she also says her butt is too big. (Men like curvy hips more than women do!) She’s wrong as well.
  Whatever he thinks he means, all he actually means is that he doesn’t fancy you. And frankly, who cares about him?
  Two truths: most women think they’re plain and/or ugly and/or a strange shape. Even when they’re beautiful. And whatever first attracts a boy to a girl, he will fall in love with you only for what you are, not for what you look like, and when a guy loves you, he will always see you as beautiful.
  
  - written 6 months, 1 week ago – voted for by Lilly

• (1 vote) I am bi-polar, depressed, borderline personality disordered or whatever.
  

  Alison, I’m so sorry. Sounds like you’ve done really well despite all the problems your life has had. Yes, I have depression. Not for any good reason, I have a good job, a good house, a great wife, two great kids, but I still get depression. Not as badly as you, it sounds like. I’m glad your husband is so great. Have you talked to your doctor?
  
  - written 6 months, 2 weeks ago – voted for by alisonpure

Last 5 Replies – All 294 replies »

• im thinking of becoming a nun..
  

  How strict the rule is depends from order to order of nuns, but that sounds quite unlikely. :o)
  - written 4 months, 2 weeks ago

• i hate my self because im not pretty, im not tall enough, and i hate looking at my body, its ugly!
  

  Lol! My wife - who is really, really beautiful - has finally come round, after 15 years of marriage, to believe that I genuinely think she’s attractive. She doesn’t agree with me, but she does admit that I mean it sincerely. :o) You’re not alone anon. :o)
  - written 4 months, 2 weeks ago

• i hate my self because im not pretty, im not tall enough, and i hate looking at my body, its ugly!
  

  Haha! I have a friend just exactly like you. Too short, too fat, too ugly. Lol! It’s none of it true, she looks gorgeous. Somewhere out there there’ll be someone who finds you gorgeous. In the meantime, learn to love yourself bcos self-confidence is one of the most physically attractive things. Honest. :o)
  - written 4 months, 2 weeks ago

• Out of this list, which do you look for in a friend the most and why?
  

  [quote Neon Light]Kind. If you get friends who look at you posts and laugh and carry on about it….well…..it wouldn’t be good….[/quote]
  
  :o) Sometimes my best friend really does just laugh at me and tell me to pull myself together when I’m depressed. And often that’s what I need! :o)
  - written 4 months, 2 weeks ago

• Out of this list, which do you look for in a friend the most and why?
  

  Trustworthy. I don’t keep (many) secrets from my friends, so I need friends who can keep my secrets for me. :o)
  likes who I am, reliable, good listener, good talker, fun.
  - written 4 months, 2 weeks ago

james_liverpool_uk's conversations are tagged:

friends, Love, boyfriend, guy, girl, Year, life, school, Feel, marriage, talk, question, Person, depression, Month, IDEA, girlfriend, heart, scared, sleep, Mental confusion, Wrong, writing, Parent, speech