Dragon_Lady's reply history at Help.com

[quote Anonymous]But I thought he was the one who has different. He says I need help. He acts like I’m THE messed up one. I thought we were a team.[/quote]

You are a team. He abuses you, and you allow it.

The best thing is to see a counselor. If he won’t go, you go by yourself.

No; it’s not okay. It’s not time! If it was, you’d have no choice in the matter, tired or not. Instead, this is the time to ask for help, to lean on others a bit, to regroup, rethink, and begin moving in a new direction.

It might help -maybe- to pretend for a moment that you have already died. That you’re now just a ghost. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? With no ties to the past, and total freedom today, who do you want to become?

This is a HUGE world. The possibilities for tomorrow are endless and unknowable, as the possibilities for the next day, and the next, and the next. As long as you are alive you have a brand new unopened box of futures, just waiting to see which one you will choose to live out.

As long as you are alive. But the day you die, those futures and those worlds all go with you, whether they are ready or not. You lose all you have, and all you will ever have.

If you are seriously thinking about hurting yourself, call for an ambulance. Suicidal plans are a medical emergency, and you need immediate medical help.

Please don’t do anything to harm yourself. Your life will get better again, but first you have to survive.

Yeah…go back to your doctor and see if your medicine can be adjusted a bit. But don’t do anything you can’t undo!

Don’t do anything you can’t undo! I’m sorry you’re going through hard times, but they don’t have to cost you your life on top of everything else.

That would be a really heartbreakign thing to do. Better to just tell him the truth. It will hurt, but it will heal quickly. Just suddenly slamming the door for no apparent reason (to him) might hurt for years.

I’m so tired tonight I wish I had a wheel chair.

Personally I would tell and take the consequences, whatever they may be.

Just wait…. One day you’ll be married with kids and sex will be a distant memory.

honestly the only thing that has kept me alive this long is my 6 year old brother who has been the only person to utter the phrase “i love you” to me in 6 months.
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Okay; let’s stop right there. If you kill yourself, there’s a **** good chance that as soon as your little brother reaches your age now, he will kill himself just because you did. So that makes it **** important that you don’t do anything you can’t undo.

Now we’ve gotten that out of the way, you’re only eighteeen! You’re just starting. College is hard; and there are lots of brilliant doctors and scientists who had to start by taking remedial classes or taking some classes twice. There’s no shame in it, and it does not mean you’re an idiot. Most community colleges have a counseling center that can help you with both school and personal problems. I think making an appointment for Monday and talking all of this over with a counselor would help a LOT.

The guy who dumped you? He was a jerk. It’s good he’s gone before he did any more damage. Send him a sympathy card and find someone who will treat you right.

Your family…that’s a tough one. Again, talk to the counselor and see if they can find some ways to help you stay in school while cutting your dependance on them so you can move away and put some distance between you.

You don’t deserve to hurt any more. But doing something self destructive isn’t going to solve anything at all.

Hate you??? I just spent 10 minutes typing out an answer trying to HELP you. Now why in the world do you think that means I hate you?

Obviously your Mom doesn’t hate you. If she did, she would just let you hide in your room all day doing nothing and thinking destructive thoughts. But she intervened and is showing you just how much she really loves you. Maybe you disagree with her method, but the message should be clear: she wants to make sure you are safe.

Of course you’re selfish and self-centered. You’re a teenager. The words “teen” and “selfish” mean the same thing. ;)

Now go talk to your Mom or call for an ambulance. Your choice.

Savanna, were you molested as a very small child?

No.

First: no one who sees your body will feel sorry for “what they did to you”. They will feel disgusted, horrified, creeped out, and pissed off for what YOU did to you.

Second: obviously, you don’t want to die. You just want people to treat you differently. That might happen, if you live. If you die, they’ll just pick out some ugly clothes at the thrift store and drop you in a box to be buried.

Third: no wonder your Mom took away your door! She’s afraid you’ll do something to hurt yourself or someone else. Apparently, she’s right.

So the right thing to do is talk to your parents and tell them what you’re planning. If they won’t get you immediate medical help, you can call for an ambulance. A suicidal plan is a medical emergency, and you need to be in the hospital. If your parents try to stop you from getting the medical help you need, you can call Child Protective Services, and they will make sure you get it.

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CALL 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a hotline counselor. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The hotline counselors work with translators who speak 140 languages to help people who call and speak something other than English. All calls are anonymous. (The hotline counselors don’t know who you are and you don’t have to tell them.)

You can call this number if you live in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Guam or the U.S. Virgin Islands.
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Your whole family needs to go to counseling. If any or all of them won’t go, you go without them or alone.

You do not love him. And he does not love you. You are in an abusive relationship with a person who is controlling you and controlling your feelings so you believe and “feel” like you can’t live without him. He does that intentionally, with malice, anger and hatred.

A good relationship feels GOOD. A good relationship is NOT HARMFUL or HURTFUL. A good relationship “feels” better than a rotten one, even though that doesn’t seem possible to you right now.

Pick up your things and walk out the door. Go to a shelter if you must. Call the police, and put a restraining order on him if you are still afraid.

You must not worry about the future right now; first you must make sure you HAVE a future; abuse only gets worse.

Leave him right now.