2013-11-26 21:55:28 on I closed this up…
[quote Kyofu~]Not to be mean… But you went threw it to. How can you say its not normal? I knows tons of people that it happens to[/quote]
I thought the same thing, then. I thought every family was a bit crazy. My mother…she was “new” to me, too. I lived with my Dad most of my life, and when my mother came back I was overjoyed. But things went haywire, fast. :(
My father started screaming at us, then abusing us. Mom got depressed and was crying all the time and unable to help anyone at all. We were traveling in a camper, just like you, and sometimes when were way out of town, Dad would go completely nuts and hurt my brother badly. :(
We went into foster care the day after Christmas. I hated it there at first; I really did. But…that’s because I’d never lived “normal” before. I didn’t trust anyone. I didn’t know what was going to happen, or where I was going to be or how I was going to get by.
But…I started school. I made friends, and started getting good grades. I met family members I didn’t know I had! My brothers and sisters went back east to live with an aunt, and I stayed in Arizona ’til I aged out of the system, and then went to college. I admit: it never felt like “home” to me. But…it wasn’t bad. Honestly…a few years after I left, I missed my foster family a lot, and I got in touch with them a few times. They were good people, and they were good to me.
My Mom and Dad never went to jail. No one died or got divorced or changed their religion. The only thing that changed was that our lives all got better.
2013-11-26 21:46:59 on I closed this up…
But I know it will get better if I can fix us.
Sweetie, you can’t fix “us”. You are too young, and the problems are too big.
You don’t have to go back to your sister. There are other safe places you can go.
You don’t have to bring the police to the house. You can take Jake, and walk away tomorrow. Call the hotline when you’re miles away, and refuse to tell them where your Mother is. You don’t have to do anything to hurt her.
But you do need to leave. You’re whole life will get better if you get away from that situation and start living in a more healthy environment. Then, when you are older, you might be able to “fix us”. But only once you’re grown, and are able to meet them on more equal terms.
2013-11-26 21:43:17 on Hello help.com, My name is Roxie.
Talk to the financial office at your school. They very often keep an emergency fund to help students with bills and such, and they may have a job opening on campus where you’ll be able to study while you work.
Talk to the counseling office there, too. They might be able to put you in touch with a grief support group with other young women who have miscarried. It’s an extremely emotional thing, and you don’t want to put off getting help for it. The last thing you want to do is let your grades start falling, too.
Finally…sounds like you need whole new car! Try calling around to places like the Salvation Army, and the various church charities and such. I would think someone, somewhere probably has a car you could borrow for a while, or an older model you can buy on low payments or something. You might also mention it to the school when you talk to them; they may be able to help you.
2013-11-26 21:28:53 on I need help, with love money and a job.
If you’re in the USA, call the Salvation Army. They often have a list of local resources you might be able to take advantage of.
2013-11-26 21:27:08 on my mom recently had to move from the country to the city.
On Netflix there’s a show about a cat doctor that deals with a bunch of those kinds of situations. Maybe you can watch a few episodes, and see if he has any useful advice?
2013-11-26 21:23:23 on I closed this up…
Kyofu, listen to me, please?
I’ve been in a very similar situation to what you are in. I was unable to help my brothers and sisters the same way you are unable. I was stuck in a seriously painful and unhealthy situation, and too afraid to do anything about it.
I was a CHILD, as you are now. But there’s a difference: you have me to help you. And I will, if you’ll let me.
You say “The fight upsets me”. No kidding! Fights are upsetting! Your situation is completely outside what the rest of the world considers healthy, and not very “normal” at all.
You should be safely tucked into your own bed, in a warm, clean home, ready to have Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday with a family that treats you right.
Not huddled in bed pretending to sleep. :(
The things happening are not your fault. They are not your responsibility to fix. They are not normal, and they are not making a good place to grow up in.
You need to go. You and Jake need to get dressed, and call the hotline. You need to allow yourself to be taken somewhere where people will not be yelling or abusing you. I know it won’t feel like “home” but it will be safe, and you’ll have a chance to start making things right so you -and Jake- can have a good future.
2013-11-26 21:17:28 on I closed this up…
Yes; and if you call the hotline, they can use it to find you to help you.
2013-11-26 21:12:04 on I closed this up…
I’m shaking in bed. Rocking. I should go help him. Go help him. Fight. But I know what’s going to happen.
You are NOT a chicken.
You are a CHILD. You cannot defend yourself against the adults yet. You’re not supposed to be able to.
The best way for you to help yourself and your brother is to call for help. Does your phone have a GPS?
2013-11-26 20:49:26 on I closed this up…
Kyofu, call the Hotline number:
CALL 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a hotline counselor. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The hotline counselors work with translators who speak 140 languages to help people who call and speak something other than English. All calls are anonymous. (The hotline counselors don’t know who you are and you don’t have to tell them.)
You can call this number if you live in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Guam or the U.S. Virgin Islands.
2013-11-26 20:46:57 on Should I get a divorce?
First, try marriage counseling. If he won’t go, you go by yourself.
2013-11-26 16:47:29 on Urgent Business Loan needed: Dear Sirs, I am a a cake
This afternoon I bought a half dozen cookies from a woman who is working from her home. She delivers!!! The moment she opened her trunk, and the smell of fresh breads, cookies, and doughnuts came wafting out, I knew my diet was blown. :)
I imagine that if you sit down and brainstorm for a while, you’ll be able to think of ways to expand your current business. Fresh, homemade goodies are just too hard to resist, so all you need to find is enough customers to generate the sales you need.
2013-11-26 09:09:50 on Goodbye it was fun.
??? Wow…. Angry much?
2013-11-26 09:08:35 on My gf constantly accuses me of cheating and tells me
Personally, I’d sit down and tell her straight up that I won’t tolerate any more of her accusations about my honesty or faithfulness. None.
I wouldn’t argue, or get angry, or be defensive about it. I’d just say “That stops. Now.”
From that moment forth every time she makes an unfounded accusation, I’d turn on my heel and walk away. I’d leave the room, call someone on the phone, find a book to read, or turn over and go back to sleep -whatever it takes to remove myself from the conversation. Wait about 15 minutes, then return as if nothing happened. No arguing, no shouting, no reaction -just pretend she never said a single word.
Eventually, she’ll stop doing that.
But…that’s a LOT of work to invest in someone you’ve only known a few months, so you want to think long and hard about whether she’s really worth it to you. There are lots of other fish in the sea.
2013-11-25 19:14:23 on I feel like I can’t do this anymore.
I think that if anyone ever needed to join a grief support group, that person is you. Look around the phone book and see if you can find one. If not, try calling the funeral home that is handling your Mom’s care, and see if they can recommend one for you.
2013-11-25 08:14:00 on It seems that iam the who is dying for her, remembring
We’ve all been there! The only cure is time, but distance and distraction help. You know you have to let go, but that’s not easy -it’s much easier to embrace something else instead.
Listen to music she hated. Go places she didn’t like to be. Spend time with people she didn’t get along with.
Get a hobby. Adopt a dog. Volunteer your time somewhere, get lots of exercise -do things you enjoy doing without her. Eventually, you’ll meet someone who loves you in return. :)