Dragon_Lady's reply history at Help.com

[quote lemacks66]Too much for U huh !..Im so far gone..ambulance wouldn’t even save me !..:(..Havent talked to anybody in so long..928-830-0955..Dumd huh !..:)[/quote]

No, not too much for me. I just ducked out for a while to take care of real life and enjoy some time with my son.

I can’t call you because we don’t have long distance on our phone, but if I could I would.

And yes, the ambulance can save you. Just pick up the phone and call 911. Tell them exactly what you’ve told me.

I’ve been homeless. It’s not the end of the world. I lived in a shelter for a while, I’ve lived in my car more than once, I lived in a cardboard box for two weeks. It’s not the end of the world.

But even if you had a million dollars handed to you tomorrow, you would still only be ONE crises from being suicidal again. This is a MEDICAL problem. The financial issues are just what has brought it to the surface and is making you feel like you can’t go on.

Please. Call an ambulance. Your physical and mental issues are not going to fix themselves. But once they are under control, you’ll be able to find more ways to cope with whatever other things are causing you distress.

Please. I’m begging you. Call for help. That is what it is there for. You can get the financial assistance you EARNED and you can get back on your feet and be doing better than ever in a short time.

Iv known people who have been there..Here they will lock U up and throw away the key til they think ur better and then ur out on the street with the name of a church!..Not going there!!..:(
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No. I’m in Arizona, too, and they did not lock me up and throw away the key. When I called, they sent an ambulance. I was strapped in so I couldn’t do anything dumb on the way to the hospital, and once I was there I was put on suicide watch. I had someone sitting right outside my door 24/7 to make sure I was okay. I did have to stay there five days, I think, before the doctor decided the meds had started working and he let me go home. I wasn’t really quite feeling better yet; but I did have to go because I had kids at home (I advise you to stay longer). Then I started seeing a counselor and went back every couple of weeks to the psychiatrist until he decided I didn’t need the medications anymore.

All told, things got better bit by bit everyday, but it was about six months from the day I called ’til the day I felt completely mended.

Customers??? No! Family, friends, social services, even your bank. But not customers, because they will assume you were sacked for a good reason, and won’t trust you. I can’t tell you how many customers I had at my old job that promised me a new job if I ever needed one -and then backed off completely as soon as I did really need one.

But…now you’ve gone through another humiliating thing, and it hasn’t killed you yet. Now why don’t you take my advice and call for MEDICAL help, because this is a MEDICAL problem. I know you think it’s a financial one, but it is NOT. You are in the midst of a medical crises and you need genuine, trained, professional medical help.

I know Im doing the wrong thing but I cant find the strength to go on.
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There is your answer. You know what you are doing is wrong. You know help is available, but your depression is preventing you from seeing WHY it’s wrong, or WHY you need to seek the help so many thousands of people have worked so hard to ensure is available.

That is tunnel vision. It’s a classic symptom of depression. It’s the depression is so often a fatal ILLNESS. Tunnel vision is what causes people to finally take the steps that end their lives. They can’t see a reason not to.

Tunnel vision is why the guy with a broken leg doesn’t know what color the ambulance is. He’s in too much pain to care.

Tunnel vision is why people get bogged down in feelings of shame and humiliation over past events that everyone else has forgotten entirely. The feelings are so overwhelming they do not see just how small it really is in the wider context of a full human life.

Tunnel vision is why people who are bullied in school or get dumped by their girlfriends or flunk a test suddenly kill themselves. They cannot see that school doesn’t last forever, that girlfriends come and go, that tests can be retaken. Those very important facts get lost in the sea of emotions and fears so these things seem like the end of the world.

Please, please, please do not allow tunnel vision to end your life. I know it’s hard. As I said, I’ve been there. I’m here with you now because I don’t want anyone else to succumb to the feelings and ideas that nearly caused my own death.

You need help so badly. You took the first step when you came here. Please, please, please call for help. You should be in the hospital, where you can relax with good food, a psychiatrist to see if you need some medicine, and a counselor to help you figure out how to solve the problems you’re facing.

Please.

No; it’s not too late. Now stop thinking like that! It usually takes a while to evict someone, and the utility companies will likely give you some extra time if you’ll ask. But you have to ask, and you have to take charge of the situation. Time to stop thinking about what you lost, and start planning what you’re going to get back.

I will try to think of some other ways you can make money. You have a car and a bike…you should be able to do something. Have you looked through the paper today for anyone needing chores done or such?

You have camping gear? Do you have a chain saw? If so, you might be able to work chopping up logs for people who are still using their fireplaces because spring wasn’t early after all.

My friend:

I have to go to the Post Office, then drive 30 miles to the grocery store. Why don’t you try to call your family and friends while I’m gone; and when I return I will sit here with you for a while and try to help you find some ways to get the money you need, okay?

[quote lemacks66]That’s beautiful. My brain hurts..so bad. How did this all happen in two weeks!!..U sound like a survivor…I don’t have a clue where to start. I have days to take care of things..and No-One to help!..I cant make it on my own. xoxoxo[/quote]

Yes; you can! You have to stop thinking about death and dying long enough to find ways to survive.

Do you have anything you can sell on eBay? Do you have any skills or tools you can make a few dollars with? Can you talk to your landlord and offer some work in exchange for rent for a while? Can you talk to your old employer and see if there’s anyway they can help? Have you talked to your family? Called all your friends?

You have to step out of “survival” mode long enough to see the bigger life you have.

U make a difference in the world Im sure.
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Let me tell you that at the time, I did not believe that.

I had four children I thought would get my life insurance and be better off without me. I lost a job -just like you- and had nothing. No savings. No solutions. Just the facts of my firing a few days before Christmas. I became depressed, and it was the following April when I finally started feeling better: I had a solution! A final solution!

I was excited and happy to be going. I was ready. I made my peace with the world, and made it clear I would not change my mind.

But…for some reason, a book I was reading about some anonymous woman somewhere “bit me”. That is, it made me think…and I wondered…could my brain be a bit broken? If so, was I maybe not thinking quite right?

I asked for help. And every single part of my life has improved since then. The medication made the bad feelings easier to cope with. Counseling helped me see one lost job wasn’t the end of the world, and helped me see that my kids still needed me.

I started my own business. I started -I have the books, still- with $7.48. That’s all that was in my checking account. I started buying stuff at yard sales, and reselling it at flea markets. When I could, I was taking special orders for stuff, and delivering it to people when I found it. Then I opened a store. Now I have my little button shop, where I’m working right now.

Life can be good for you again, too. I promise.

Yes…the sounds…I went through that when I was depressed, too.

Your body is in flight-or-fight mode. It’s fighting for it’s life. We evolved in little caves, where we were prey for everything, so your body has four million years practise listening for predators and people who would harm you. It’s doing that now.

Just stick with us…. Believe me, when you’ve hit bottom, there’s no place to go but UP!

Now tell me truly: should I have ended my life when I thought I was ready to go?

Ughm…no…God (if he exists) does not forgive suicides. Sorry. Well, not really sorry, but you know what I mean.

Suicide is unforgivable because it’s murder, and because you can’t ask for forgiveness for sins you haven’t committed yet, and you can’t ask after you’re dead…so in traditional Christianity, suicides are screwed.