Goodnight my friend, I did not take care of myself today and I am out of energy. I am going to go hydrate up on water and have a meal. I’m glad to speak with you again:) Hazel.
Hmmm. I like it! I’m going to look for a symbolic avatar: I’m moving, and while getting ready I’m revisiting my past and my real self, which I had forgotten a bit.
Hello 3Hazel. What’s with the name change? I hope you are feeling well. I’m sorry about my friend list being emptied again. Something went wrong and…well it just went a bit crazy. Everything is back to normal now though. How are you anyway?
Sorry for responding so late. I’m sorry about the fight you had. Sometimes when things like that happen, it’s best to give a bit of room. Hopefully, things may settle down after a day or two. I used to fall out with my brother loads of times and time apart helped solve the problem.
I’m glad your ok though. You’ve always got someone here, if you want to talk :)
Glad to hear it - sorry wasnt prying but your reply was right underneath my shout to Elysium and I was a bit worried - brothers can be a monumental pain sometimes. Anyway - glad you are fine - put up with no crap - he is only a relation - remember you can pick your friends but …… - Mas
Hazel - wasnt being nosey but was shouting Elysium and noticed that all might not be well with you right now. Please ignore me if I’m interuppting something personal but I’m here and online if you just need a shoulder - Mas
Hey 2Hazel, I’ve only just had chance to check help. I’m at work at the moment, but I am online after work. What is wrong? I hope everything is ok. Speak to you soon.
the only thing that i can actually come up with is this…
when i was born.. they immediately took me from my mother and sent me an hour away to another hospital.. my mother never got to see me at all..
i was blue with pneumonia and a heart murmur.. i almost died..
2 weeks later, her and my aunt came to get me. they actually handed my mother another child. my aunt said, thats not hers. and gave her me..
ever since i can remember… and i can remember back to the age of 3… i was told by my mother that i was not hers.. that i was switched at the hospital..
so i believe that in their hearts… that i am and was never theirs.. because i was the only one beat.. i was the only one treated in such a manor.. even today..
really… i have actually started to write a book… because i would like to get my story out… i find it helpful.. im not mad that my parents are horrible people.. im mad because i just always wanted a mom and dad… someone to show a bit of caring.. and i personally believe that because they werent.. as a teen, i looked at ways of finding love in all the wrong ways.. having my 3 babies by the time i was 20 years old..
and i guess you can say that im a bit jealous of my siblings.. to see how much caring that they get..
i sooooo badly want to have a blood test done on these people… and im going to be starting counseling after i heal from my surgery tomorrow… so im going to bring it up to her.. maybe she can help me get one done… because seriously.. i have dark hair and eyes.. my siblings.. blue eyes and blond hair..
yeah…. i just cant take their crap anymore… they are horrible people..
the thing that bothers me the most is.. how can any parent treat their own flesh and blood so horribly.. while showing the others so much love and respect…
its ok… it just makes me so angry that now because of them.. i have to sit in the hospital with out the option of roger being able to see me at all..
it has made me a better mommy though… my kids were never hit and got to be children.. never even had a chore in their lives… just because i wanted them to have all that i didnt..
my parents are scum.. and i wash my hands of them…