IDon'tEverQuit's reply history at Help.com

[quote Evansent :)]Maybe your over analysing this too much, Nat. Like I say at this time youll be extremely fragile.[/quote]

i might be…i don’t know anymore…i never did feel good enough for him though. he’s wonderful…the best…i feel like the worst wife ever…even before i got pregnant.

[quote Chunkymoves]giving it up is tough. hope he can go get support from external places so he doesn’t have to add to your stress. you are making a baby, you have enough going on :-)[/quote]

thanks. i do want to help him though.

[quote Mariam_the_Lioness][quote IDon’tEverQuit]Thanks. Hospital stays are free here unless u want to upgrade to a better room. We need money to move (and soon! see our apartment is VERY small, no room for baby and no laundry facilities) and we have NOTHING for our baby except the crib.[/quote]
Babies don’t need much, and if you can’t move before the baby is born you can improvise until you are able to move. A pack-n-play type crib takes up a much smaller amount of room and costs less than a standard crib. I think they are better too, because they are portable. Baby can sleep in a familiar place when you go visiting. And if you can’t afford or don’t have room for even that, use a laundry basket or a clean box, or simply place the baby on a blanket on the floor where he/she will be safe from being stepped on at night. Some people sleep with the baby in their bed - you can do that too, if you feel that it is right for your family. (Research it first, there are pros and cons.)

You will need diapers, and if you don’t have access to a laundry facility, you will want to use disposable, which is going to probably be your biggest expense. Check around and see if there are any community service agencies that can help you get the diapers, some baby clothes, a few blankets, and the other things that the baby will need. Start looking for diaper coupons, too. Let your family know what you want or need; baby gifts are fun to buy, and if you have lots of people buying them, they don’t cost too much. I’d say you can adequately supply your home for baby for about $300. Of course, diapers and baby formula (if you choose to use it) will be ongoing costs.

I’m due in a month, and we’ve spent about $200 so far. My sister gave us some clothing, but everything else has been purchased new. We have everything we will need immediately, and are spreading out the cost of the rest over time so it will be more manageable - since my husband and I are quite broke.[/quote]

thanks. if u don’t mind asking…what have u bought? have had a hard time coming up with a list of baby necessities so we can check stuff off as we get it.

[quote Evansent :)]I used to smoke I know how hard the cravings can get, I feel for both of you.
Is he on niccotine patches?
Your Man sounds a sweetheart. :)[/quote]

No. We can’t afford much right now besides bills :( He is, he’s very good to me. It doesn’t help that I always feel very insecure…like I’m not enough to keep him happy. Like I’m not good enough for him. We’ve been together a long time and I’m still scared. I feel crazy.

it’s just like smoking he’s one person and not smoking as much he’s another person. but i don’t know if it’s hormones and the fact that i’m overemotional or what…

[quote Evansent :)]Wether it be financial, emotional or mental, stress can play havoc with your hormones & you being pregnant will be in a fragile state at the moment.
Maybe you & your Hubby need some space between you.
In what way is he behaving differently?
How often do you see eachother?[/quote]

we see each other for 45 min mon-fri for lunch. i see him for about an hour when he gets home from work and i see him saturday til about 3:30 and all day sunday and mon night 5:30 on. he’s trying hard to help me while trying to help himself get over the cravings which he’s having very often. i know i’m not helping :( i don’t mean to make things harder for him. i feel that he isn’t being as loving but he says he has to continually try very hard not to smoke. he says he has it on his mind alot and he’s just trying to focus on getting through the cravings. he wants to cut back for us and baby. it’s very sweet really.

[quote Cell]Seriously, you’re making more of things then they really are and it’s the hormones. Try to do things to relax. Take slow walks outdoors. Look at the sunlight on water. Push the worries out of your mind with pleasant thoughts. That’s why reading a book might be a good idea.[/quote]

I’ll try…thanks. It’s difficult cause my mind NEVER shuts off. Seriously. That’s probably why I’m having a really hard time sleeping. So much stuff on my mind this week.

[quote Mariam_the_Lioness]Be patient. Being pregnant is stressful, but even if you don’t have enough money, everything will be ok. The hospital won’t turn you away for inability to pay. You husband is just having a hard time adjusting to not smoking, and he’s probably worried about money and about you and the baby.

Step back and try to look at things from another perspective: this is a big change for both of you and you are both learning how to adjust. It takes time.[/quote]

Thanks. Hospital stays are free here unless u want to upgrade to a better room. We need money to move (and soon! see our apartment is VERY small, no room for baby and no laundry facilities) and we have NOTHING for our baby except the crib.

[quote Cell]Read some light, relaxing novels to get your mind off things. Drink lots of milk. It’s the crazy hormones. It will pass once baby is born.[/quote]

I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown :( I could sit here and cry and cry and cry. I don’t know how to help hubby and I don’t know how to deal with everything :( I don’t want to be stressed…I want to keep baby safe.

[quote BuckingFastard (J.N)]You don’t need fancy foods for a baby, they don’t like strong flavours anyway, just mashed up veg or fruit is fine.

You don’t need a changing table, you can use a mat & when it’s not in use it will fold up really small & flat.

If you breast feed, you don’t need a sterilizer.

Don’t give it a dummy / passifier, that will need sterilizing if you get one, plus, it’s not good for their teeth & gums.

When it’s a new born, you will need a large pram, if you get one where the top disattaches, it will be fine for the baby to sleep in.

Shoes are totally unneccessarry until it’s coming close to 1 year old, thick socks & a blanket when you’re taking it out will be fine.

Learn how to knit / sew, then you can make a lot of clothes yourself.

Buy what you can from ebay & charity shops.

Ask any friends that have kids if you can have / borrow their childs old clothes & items.[/quote]

thanks :)

[quote ~Empress~ Chaos]It all varies for babies. Bibs
Socks, Blankets simple things..

Baby toe nail clippers. Bottles, bottle warmer can be replaced with warming water in the microwave and put the bottle in the cup of hot water ;)

for 5mins. Lol

Its alot but not so much after baby shower you can eliminate what you will have to get.[/quote]

yeah i can’t wait for my baby shower :) it will be fun.

[quote ~Empress~ Chaos]So baby shower is a check, now.

How about hmm i will call my friend to ask more.Than get back to you. but ill put that in mind

So there are programs here in the states where the government assist and give homes, which are called here section 8…That is partially paid by you and the gvt pays the other half of the rent. Especially since your going to hav a little one. Is there a social worker you can inquire about those?

Also there is WIC or food stamps, or SNAP. Which is giving you a card with about hmm $200 a month for food. Do you have those there?

these things take a little while to take effect but those are suggestions?[/quote]

i’m not sure about the $200 a month for food. is that the SNAP thing? I’m asking my sis about a list for baby essentials cause they all seem so different when I look them up online and i want to make sure i have a good list.

[quote Chunkymoves]so, you just need to rant, or you want a hand focusing and making plans?[/quote]

both lol. sometimes i get so worked up that i really need to get it out. i’d like help with getting focused…i need to find a realistic list of baby essentials. so i can check off what i have as i go along. but i’d like a list for the first 6 mos of baby’s life.

[quote Chunkymoves]Hey there. Not something I know much about, but happy to be an ear if you need another.[/quote]

thanks :) need all the help i can get lol. don’t have many people to talk to…just my hubby. and he needs a break from my worries.

[quote SomeNZguy]You can post your list on this site and ask for suggestions on alternatives. There was one already made about using the sink as a bath. Get it down on paper. I feel it’ll help take away some of the stress you feel right now.[/quote]

I love your idea. It’s just I’m a first time mom-to-be and I don’t really know what baby must haves are….besides crib (which we have, it was given to us by a family member) and my sis is letting me use her bassinet at first.