IDon'tEverQuit's reply history at Help.com

[quote DarkSnow]Adoption is an option, though it’d likely be hard to give up your child after you’ve been around it for a while =(
So best to keep that as a last resort.

Have you tried organizations nearby for assistance? Religious, governmental, humanitarian, etc?[/quote]

NO WAY. I would never give this baby up. This is the baby I’ve dreamed of for years. This is our baby. Never would I give this baby up for adoption.

[quote Da⌐11][quote IDon’tEverQuit][quote Da⌐11]I feel very sorry for your husband; you are treating him awfully. If you don’t love him, than you need to cut him loose and stop stringing him along while you wait for something better to come along. He is a Husband and a Father, he isn’t going to leave you while he still loves you and while he can still be those things, in some ways it would be wrong of him to do so. This is all you’re doing so you need to be the one to take charge and make the changes in both of your lives.

You tried to defend yourself with the line “I wasn’t some bored little wife who wanted cheat” in an attempt to use your sickness as excuse the things you have done and the way you have been acting. So it’s clear you know you have been treating your husband awfully; and if some “bored little wife” where doing these things you wouldn’t give her the same pass you are trying to give yourself. I would challenge your thinking on this point; I don’t think you should be using your past sickness to excuse your behavior. Maybe it was an excuse the first time you started talking to this other guy; but now it’s just a crutch and it is you who is behaving badly not your sickness from years ago.

It’s time for you’re to start making positive changes in your life. Stop talking to the ex, leave your husband completely and focus on yourself and being a good mom. Start taking charge and responsibilities for your actions.[/quote]

Hmmm are we talking about the same post here? I don’t think we are. I don’t talk to any ex’s, I am crazy in love with my hubby and I think he’s the best.[/quote]

sorry wrong post… what I ment to say to you…

First; having a baby is not as financial darning as it might first seem. I had the same fears before my daughter came into the world and I have to say the fear was worse then the reality. Your husband is right that it will all work out. Think of it this way, you aren’t the first to have a baby, and you aren’t the poorest to have a baby and yet the world is populated with a lot of people. You’ll manage somehow.

Other than that, why don’t you give us some more specifics on your situation? What are your ages? Income? Jobs? Where is your family? ect

once again sorry[/quote]

Thanks :) It’s ok lol I was just like huh? hehe. I’m crazy about my hubby. I wouldn’t trade him for anything. We are 26 (well hubby is 27 on tues) my job is accounting assistant (but not for long! just til end of dec probably), hubby works as a kitchen hand. he’s put out countless resumes but nothing :( family is around here but not able to help and they’d freak out if they knew our situation. if we could eliminate debt somehow and find moving expenses and money for baby essentials it would be SOOOO much better and less stressful! we do love this baby so much though :) we love being pregnant.

[quote Anonymous]Dumb purchases are alright. You’ve got to give yourself a little slack now and then :) I’m building a sailboat out of a piece of plywood with my bf right now (so about $100 or so out of my savings)!

What’s your approximate wage (if you don’t mind me asking). Or you can just do the math yourself. Try to build a budget that allows you to pay for all this but also lets you build a small savings.[/quote]

:) I’ve been trying. I budget ALOT to make everything fit but it seems impossible :( I make $1520/mth and hubby makes about $880/mth.

[quote Zirbel]Today seems to be a special day. Soooooo many people are answering totally awry to many posts! Crazy![/quote]

it’s okay. i was pissed at first until i really read it and saw it had nothing to do with what i wrote lol

[quote Da⌐11]I feel very sorry for your husband; you are treating him awfully. If you don’t love him, than you need to cut him loose and stop stringing him along while you wait for something better to come along. He is a Husband and a Father, he isn’t going to leave you while he still loves you and while he can still be those things, in some ways it would be wrong of him to do so. This is all you’re doing so you need to be the one to take charge and make the changes in both of your lives.

You tried to defend yourself with the line “I wasn’t some bored little wife who wanted cheat” in an attempt to use your sickness as excuse the things you have done and the way you have been acting. So it’s clear you know you have been treating your husband awfully; and if some “bored little wife” where doing these things you wouldn’t give her the same pass you are trying to give yourself. I would challenge your thinking on this point; I don’t think you should be using your past sickness to excuse your behavior. Maybe it was an excuse the first time you started talking to this other guy; but now it’s just a crutch and it is you who is behaving badly not your sickness from years ago.

It’s time for you’re to start making positive changes in your life. Stop talking to the ex, leave your husband completely and focus on yourself and being a good mom. Start taking charge and responsibilities for your actions.[/quote]

Hmmm are we talking about the same post here? I don’t think we are. I don’t talk to any ex’s, I am crazy in love with my hubby and I think he’s the best.

[quote Zirbel][quote IDon’tEverQuit][quote Zirbel]I would say that you could get some governmental help and support in Canada, no? Did you ever try?
And social organizations and churches?[/quote]

It could be a possibility (government i mean) BUT not until after baby. I will get maternity leave money for a little while but hubby doesn’t make even close to what we need…he’s trying so hard but nothing :([/quote]
What about CAPSS:
“CAPSS under girds 71 affiliate centres, and is presently assisting with the growth and development of another nine centres. Located in towns and cities across Canada, these centres offer practical, material, emotional and spiritual assistance by helping women and their partners or significant other through distressing pregnancies.”
http://www.capss.com/

Your provincial and territorial government should also support you during pregnancy.
It’s written here: “Early Childhood Development”: http://www.socialunion.gc.ca/nca/supp…

thanks will check out

[quote Anonymous]Congratulations on getting pregnant! :)

The best financial advice I can give you is to make a budget and STICK to it.

I make $1,200 a month (working three part time jobs);
I have $3,000 of credit card debt;
I have $800 of bills a month (rent, water, electricity, etc.);
I need to spend $300 a month on gas, food, and other necessities.

So, every month I spend my paycheck as follows:
$800 = bills
$300 = gas, food, etc.
$80 = credit card payment (twice the minimum)
$20 = savings

Which means I’ll have the rest of my debt paid off in about 4 years, and I’ll have about $1,000 more in savings by that time. :)

It’s really hard to get ahead when your so far behind. But if you work hard to manage everything, you’ll get out of debt eventually. Children are expensive but you and your husband will be able to do it! Just make a plan and stick to it.

Remember there is always government aid for poor families. Food stamps, food banks, housing assistance, etc. all can make a big difference. Unfortunately I don’t qualify for any of that (because I’m still considered a “child” by the government) but as new parents, you will.

If your credit card payments are a large percentage of your wages, see if you can lower them (or take out a loan to pay it off). I took out a loan since my credit card interest rate is 17.99% and my bank’s interest rate is 6.5%.

To make more money, go to sign up for amazon turk (through amazon). They have a lot of “jobs” that take about 5 minutes and give you between $0.01 and $0.50 per job. (Stay away from ones that make you sign up for stuff, they are scams that got by amazon’s filters!) It’s not a lot of money, but it also doesn’t take a lot of time, and you can do it while surfing on the internet. I make an extra $100 or so a month doing it for a couple hours every night.

:) Good luck! Enjoy being a parent and don’t fret about expenses. Just make a good budget and stick to it! :)[/quote]

Hi, This is our bills per month:

Rent- currently $500 about to be more as place is way too small for baby and no laundry facilities or bathtub
Debt- $265 per month (have low interest but still a lot a month!)
Computer/PS3 purchase loan= $117 (dumb purchase, trust me i learned! both payments will be gone by nov)
Groceries- about $300
Gas-$360 (crazy I know! but we both use it to get to our jobs, after baby is born, gas should be less)
Car Pymt $395 (harsh I know but only have had it for a year)
Car Ins $90 (better than last year lol)
Phone $90
We don’t pay for TV or Internet
Debt cuz of gov’t (gotta love government,yeah right) $55 been paying a month

That’s all I can think of right now

[quote Zirbel]I would say that you could get some governmental help and support in Canada, no? Did you ever try?
And social organizations and churches?[/quote]

It could be a possibility (government i mean) BUT not until after baby. I will get maternity leave money for a little while but hubby doesn’t make even close to what we need…he’s trying so hard but nothing :(

[quote ABHAY]Your username is the only possible reply to ur problem .. just don’t quit .
And don’t take your baby as a financial burden may be it turns out to be
Good luck charm for you guys .. giving life to someone may give a reason
to you guys to work hard and achieve more . try finding some home jobs . They
Are plenty of them around . and have faith in your self and give yourself a
CHANCE .. you and your husband will surely find something worthwhile to overcome this .

Try and look for things you guys are best at . Then try finding a new job . your key skills are your own
nobody else have them . you while on maternity leave can give tutions to kids or open a play school for other
Kids . In this way you can probably learn and earn too ..
All the best and keel smiling . :)[/quote]

our baby would never be a burden :) we are crazy about this baby already. we love being pregnant! my hubby keeps saying that it will work out but time is getting less and less and nothing is being solved. need money to move and SOON and we need money for baby stuff :(

[quote Pep with a JellyBean]Thanks for the invite, Cell

@ IDon’tEverQuit:

I’m currently pregnant (28 weeks) with my fourth child. However, I’ve been pregnant a total of 8 times and had miscarriages.

I can tell you that I have gotten extremely emotional during all of my pregnancies. It’s normal. I cry at the drop of a hat. My kids go to the summer movies and I take them…at the movies I do one of two things: cry or fall asleep. It’s totally embarassing to cry at “Ramona and Beezus” and “How to Train Your Dragon” and “Megamind…” *sigh*

One thing: Make sure you get enough sleep and make sure you take your vitamins and eat well. Those things will help your body feel better, which will help your mind feel better.

One thing to keep in mind, as well: I DO think your baby can hear you yell and I DO think that a baby feels when your blood pressure/heart rate go up. I know that docs say they don’t, but I honestly think that they do.

If you are emotional now, during pregnancy, you need to keep in touch with your doctor so that after pregnancy, if you get post partum depression you can be medicated for it. Nothing wrong with being medicated for a short amount of time when it is related to a major hormonal upheaval.

I hope you start to feel better. But I don’t think your emotions can harm the baby (make you miscarry). If you are going to miscarry, you will whether you are emotional or not.[/quote]

Thanks :) Appreciate it.

[quote caseymahoney2]Trust my wife want through that.I would ask her a question and she would cry.I bought so many flowers that 9 months.

Thanks Casey Mahoney[/quote]

awww that’s nice that you bought her lots of flowers though :) we can’t afford to do that but my hubby is very wonderful and tries very hard to help me :)

[quote Cell]Walk outside, warm shower, chocolate ice-cream, sleeping - yeah sleeping, did LOTS of that while pregnant.[/quote]

thanks. i like the ice cream part lol. i’ll try all of those.

[quote PixieSticks]You’ll find things will get better, after about 18 weeks your body will settle into pregnancy. Just try not to blame yourself, you’ll be a good mum[/quote]

thanks. hope u r right!

[quote PixieSticks]Hormones are going awol, especially this early on when everything is changing, just try to relax, and avoid stressful situations. Count to 10, don;’t engage in arguments, not worth it[/quote]

I know…it’s more my fault to be honest. My hubby tries to avoid fights and I just make it worse :( I don’t mean to, I really don’t!! My emotions take over and let loose… I always feel bad afterwards for doing that to hubby and our baby…my other problem is that I think ALOT like all the time. My **** mind won’t shut off….if I could get my mind to settle down some or kind of quiet down, it would help.

[quote Cell]Nope. My doctor insisted that emotional stress doesn’t impact the baby.[/quote]

Well I seriously hope your doctor is right. I still wouldn’t mind suggestions on how i can distract myself…even if just to calm down a little faster than i would normally. any ideas please?