pixiidust4's reply history at Help.com

This response is for you, Lisa A. I can only speak for myself and my own situation now. I am NOT an addict, but the love of my life is. He has 26 days clean now and attends NA meetings as often as he possibly can. One thing they stress in NA is detaching from your precious life and immersing yourself with NEW friends that are also in recovery. Michael is an outpatient in a rehab locally, and he is doing great. He has bonded with 4 of his other groupmates that are also in recovery and together they go to meeting after meeting, sometimes 3 in a day, go bowling, to the diner–whatever it may be to fill their time with anything other than drugs. Michael recently asked me for space in his life because he needs to learn to take care of himself before he can take care of me. It is also stressed in NA meetings, as well as rehabs, that if you put anything before your recovery, that will be the first thing you lose. Financially, Michael relied on everyone else. Thankfully, he had no legal fees, and his father is paying for his rehab and medications. I take care of his bills, but he pays me cash from working part time and I write out the checks. His mother keeps a roof over his head. He has an ideal situation. But, the best thing you can do if you want help is admitting it to your family and tell them you NEED THEIR HELP. If you can get into an inpatient rehab, DO IT, at least to detox. I am proud of you that you are strong enough to acknowledge you have a disease that hurts so many people and that you acknowledge your responsibilities financially. You have already gotten through one of the hardest parts of addiction. I hear all the time from addicts that life while you’re high could never compare to life being completely sober. However, in regards to the question of is it any better with a partner, the answer would have to be no. You need to want this all for yourself and you need to get through this hard time as an INDIVIDUAL. Michael and I are so much in love, but he realized before there could be anyone else in his life (whether it is a girlfriend, wife or best friend), he needs to get healthy first, otherwise he could never possess healthy relationships. Please, email me at (email removed), I would love to hear from you and help you through your hard time. I wish the best for you. Thank you for listening and I look forward to your email.

Love,
Sam

My boyfriend of 3 years has just admitted to being a heroin addict. He has been caught several times before in the act by myself, but he kept promising me that he would stop and that he had stopped. He has finally admitted it to his parents last night and they had started him in outpatient rehab this morning. I am head over heels in love with this man. He is 25, but I am only 19. I have given up everything for him, my “college experience,” friends, I have supported him financially. He is the only person I can see the rest of my life with, and he feels the same as we have spoken about it constantly. But I am so young. I don’t know if it is worth sticking around through such a nightmare for a third time of sobering up. I am so young, there is so much of the world for me to see, but all I want is him, and I don’t know if there is any hope for us after he gets better. I don’t even know if he will get better, and if so, how long it will take. I just need help from someone completely outside the situation who has either been there and done that or someone who is an addict and knows what they would want of the woman/man that they love. Please help, as with every passing moment I am falling apart more and more. Thank you so much and God Bless you all.