Araz's reply history at Help.com

For me it was a combination of both time and distance. You don’t want that guy in your face all the time! It’s like rubbing salt in the wound. So put some distance between yourself and him for as long as you can.

Also, distract yourself from thinking about him. Whenever you find yourself thinking of him, talk to someone or go somewhere or do something else. Anything else!

[quote ~AGAPE~]I am sorry that happened, understand how hard that can be. It was this site and a few good friends who saved me. Not family, unfortunately .. but that is water under the bridge. It shows you a great deal of truth..
Just try small steps, be well sister.. much love
Agape[/quote]

Yes, I wish my friends were there for me the way my family was, but they weren’t. You are lucky to have good friends! They’re a treasure.

This website is wonderful and I don’t know what I would do without it.

[quote mindhealer][quote Araz]I am grateful for my parents everyday now. I see now how much they love me.[/quote]

That’s so great. This is kind of how I feel about things: When everything is so impossibly hard and wrong, you have to find what is most important and most positive and true and hopeful, there’s no other way to make it through. And hopefully whatever goodness and love you can find, you can hold on to.[/quote]

That’s the kind of mentality I’m trying hard to achieve!

[quote ~AGAPE~]Yes your walking through a difficult path right now Azaz. You are going to get stronger because of this. Getting depressed would be normal for anyone who has come this way, it is okay to cry and work through this pain and loose. You are not going to do it alone, you need the people around you to come under you and lift you up, until your wings mend.. and they will eventually. Depression is serious if you have no support, but I will tell you that everything you are doing is right. Talking on here with everyone is good, depression makes you isolate, because when you can’t control when you cry, it is better to be away from others view [public]. I know. BUT..
eventually you need to reconnect to what is happening in life.. slowly.. get outside,
fresh air, talk small walks, eat healthy foods..[please eat].. do something physical in the sun, drink green tea, sit in a garden and talk to God. Meditate on the good things, be still and listen to what you need to hear. Write a journal, do something for someone else when you think of it. Help a little old lady, save a dog, tell someone you love them, give a compliment to someone, look for the positives and increase them. Be peaceful and know that you are never alone in this world, much love and support.
L[/quote]

Thank you, Agape. My support system (friends) have failed me miserably. They hurt me so much, we got in a huge fight at the peak of my depression where every aspect of my character was attacked. This made me more depressed and unwilling to reply to anyone here or talk to anyone, really.

I talked to my therapist, though, and my sister and boyfriend and I am starting to feel better. I even joked around with my boyfriend about losing weight (I haven’t had much of an appetite.) It’s going to take awhile to get better, especially since the support system I’ve had for the longest isn’t there anymore, but at least I have my family, boyfriend, and the people on this website.

I’ll get better eventually. It’s just going to take time. I’ll get my appetite back eventually, lol.

Thank you for the words of support.

I had a telephone session with my therapist and that was really helpful.

I’ve been going through a lot. I need to really think about who I am and what I want from life. I’m going to take some time to really meditate and reflect on this.

One thing I’ve realized through this ordeal - the only people who are really, truly there for you and will honestly love you unconditionally is your family. I am grateful for my parents everyday now. I see now how much they love me. Because, even though I hadn’t known I was pregnant for long, even though I was panicking and scared, the devastation I felt when I lost my baby broke my heart. Now I really know how much they love me.

I’m still depressed. I still think about suicide all the time. I cry all the time randomly - and I’m not a crier. I don’t know what to do about that. I am working on it, though.

Thank you for your support, everyone.

Oh, and I’m actually going to see my boyfriend’s pastor. Not because I’m converting or anything but because he lost three children and offered to talk to me and his wife and I think it would be good for me to do that.

I lost the baby Tuesday afternoon. It was an eptopic pregnancy. The egg fertilized in a Fallopian tube and the tube burst. I didn’t realize, I was in so much pain, when I realized I was bleeding I went to the hospital and found out I was bleeding internally. They had to remove the Fallopian tube and I came home Friday night.

I wish I could just die. Everyone keeps saying it’s gods plan but I just wish I didn’t survive. In fact, if I hadn’t gone to the hospital, I would have died. My heart hurts so much and the physical pain from surgery is so bad.

I sent shouts to the first half of you but I think I’m going to try to sleep now. I’m exhausted, today has been a long day.

I just want you to know that I’ve read every single one of these responses. I’ve really thought long and hard about everything you’ve all had to say.

I’ll reply to the rest of you tomorrow morning.

Thank you and good night!

Firstly, I just want to start off by thanking everyone for replying. I really appreciate it. Some of you said some things I didn’t necessarily want to hear, but that I needed to hear.

I told my mother last night. She was actually able to guess it herself based on my symptoms: not being able to get up in the morning and missing class and not sleeping at night. She wasn’t supportive at all-I didn’t think she would be, though. She’s very insistent that I get an abortion, even though I told her my bf proposed.

I also spoke with my boyfriend’s parents whom I’ve met several times already (they’re a very close knit family) and they’ve given me their full support and have already welcomed me to the family.

I need medical insurance and I have 2 unpaid hospital bills I have to take care of. Getting a job is my number one priority right now; one that preferably offers insurance.

I can’t have an abortion. I just can’t do it. This baby is coming and if it means being in university for longer than planned, then so be it.

I’m going back and forth in my mind about marrying my bf. I have received so much conflicting advice, I can’t tell what I want anymore.

I think the easiest thing would be to shout specific responses to some of you when I get my computer (Im using my iPhone right now) and post this as a general response.

PS You’re not the only ones surprised. My two best friends make fun of me all the time for being a prude and too responsible. I guess I’m not that person anymore!

LOL, I thought it was hilarious!!! Thank you for the invite, SoCo, you know better than anyone else I need some cheering up :)

Dude, if you can’t even afford a stuffed bear, I think you have bigger problems than whether or not you can buy your kid a valentines day gift.

I don’t know what you decided to do, Anonymous, but I wanted to comment on what an amazing writer you are. You should seriously consider writing a novel-you have talent I only see in professional writers to capture the reader’s attention and hold it throughout your post.

Wow, tough week. You’re stronger than I am and most people I know.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope things straighten out for you with your friends at least!

Oh and no matter what happened, your moms boyfriend had no right to speak to you that way. Have you tried talking to your mom about it?

That’s true. He is a nice guy, it’s just… too fast!

I told him he can’t meet my parents because they’re Muslim Pakistani and very religious. He’s Italian Catholic with a very warm, accepting family. My parents are the opposite of that.

I want to ask him to slow down a bit. I’m assuming he’s trying to get the ok to date me from his family-why else would he want me to meet them?

I’m not sure how soon people commit in a relationship or meet parents. We spend a lot of time together, and I enjoy his company, but I’m not sure exactly how to tell him I want to slow down without it seeming like I want to stop seeing him.

Are you talking about on the website or in your daily life?

[quote BigWilly!]I’d ask if he got caught. If not, nothin’ more said, cuz nobody likes a snitch.[/quote]

I agree. I mean, it’s immoral and if you don’t want to be friends anymore, that’s fine but don’t tell on someone who confided in you!!!

[quote okei!][quote Araz]B+

I think that’s the most common blood type. I have a little keychain with my name and blood type I received from the Red Cross the last time I donated. :)[/quote]

Me too. So we are the commonaire yet there’s just the two of us with B+? lol[/quote]

I know, it doesn’t make sense!