thehelp's reply history at Help.com

Well best of luck darlin,

Hope everything starts getting better from here, im sure it will.

And you stay away from the sleeping pills, you got something to start working with to fix those family problems.

Good luck on friday, and with the family.

Cheers

Mike

Well thats awesome that somehow indirectly some random guy from some random place was able to help you come to an important realization.

Now that you have got the focal point of her behavior change figured out, you can start to try to devise a plan to get your family life back on track.

You might even want to talk to your brother about it, im sure he will understand and maybe even help in the talk with your parents.

Your brother seemed to want to pursue his own life, and your parents were not ready for this im guessing?

Its too bad that they decide to take it out on you however, but the best way to try to get her to understand is to show her how you want it to be, something like it was before your brother left. Say your sorry that you cant fill the void left by his leaving, but your doing your best, and that there is no reason to stop being a happy family because your brother left.

Dunno maybe that kind of take might help? Or have you tried it already?

[quote Akhale51][quote thehelp]I would try to be reminiscent of sometime in your lives when things were better, and the relationships within you family were not so battered and bruised. From there tell her that you want things to be like that again. And explain to her that she needs to clean up her act both emotionally and physically. Maybe it might tug at whats left of her heartstrings.[/quote]You know, that might actually work.[/quote]

I hope that it does help, your family was not always like that right?

I would try to be reminiscent of sometime in your lives when things were better, and the relationships within you family were not so battered and bruised.

From there tell her that you want things to be like that again. And explain to her that she needs to clean up her act both emotionally and physically.

Maybe it might tug at whats left of her heartstrings.

oh, alright… lol

I’ll figure this one out.

(shes a female not male lol)

Thats a really tough one right there, Alcoholism is really rough on the entire family.

As far as the arguments go, its really impossible to have to pick one parent over another. Its a struggle we all have when parents fight.

You must be firm to show your parents that its not fair to make you solve their issues, remind them that you have your own life, and its not your place to fix the issues of the people that are supposed to help you with yours.

You gotta make sure your mom understands that your prescriptions arent there for her to use as a crush, the last thing she needs is another substance abuse problem.

It almost sounds like there are reversed roles in your family, much like you’ve been placed in the parent position. With this understood, you gotta either accept this role as the caretaker for your family, or distance yourself from the situation.

Above all you gotta make sure they understand that you need them to be strong for you, unless you’re ready to be strong for them.

Think we should look at em one by one and see if we can get anywhere on any of em.

Well lets hear the story, I don’t mind making some time.

I think its really hard to say anything that will be life changing for you.

Really we need a more in depth look at the individual problems that contribute to making you feel this way.

Although really im not a doctor or anything, more so I can give you my take on the issues and maybe we can come to a consensus on how to deal with them.

If your up for it.

There are so many lonely people in the world dude. Its weird like that, people are very shy most of the time, and never really act upon any impulses that would improve their lives. Really the trick to improving your life is to imagine how you want it to be, and slowly find new ways to work towards it.

Killing yourself wont really help, its like the easy way out.

Its showing all those people that you think don’t like you, the reason why they shouldn’t. You cant reaffirm anyones belief that your not worth their time.

Just give it time.

There will be other people, and there will be more to life.

Just give it time.

How long has it been?

Is there some kind of substance abuse problem that is making him act this way?