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• My guy’s family has a history of being racist. posted (1 year, 7 months) ago
  One of his grandfathers used to be in the KKK. His immediate family (mom, stepdad, brothers & s…

• My guy says that all males look at porn and check out females, whether they are in a relationship or not. posted (1 year, 7 months) ago
  I understand looking at other females. I look at other males (inconspicuously), but I don’t fl…

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Humboldt-Madison's Top (1) Replies by other users' votes

• (1 vote) Can a relationship survive with no trust?
  

  My guy cheated on me once that I know of. We have been together for almost 8 years now, and have a baby daughter. We first met in the navy back in 2000. I actually thought he was one of the homeliest guys I had ever seen. He was tall, skinny, and really didn’t look that great to me. He had the funniest stories, though, and knew a lot of different things. We ended up saying we loved eachother. There is a lot I’m leaving out. A week before he was supposed to leave my ship to go back to the states, he told me he was married and had 2 children. He said he was in the process of getting a divorce because she was a crazy and cheated on him. He said he loved me, promised we would stay together and it would all be alright. We called all the time, etc. About 2 months after he had left, he quit. I couldn’t get a hold of him at all. I called his mom to see if she knew anything. She said he was fine the last time she talked with him, and was still in California. ah. He didn’t want to be with me anymore. That REALLY sucked. We had made all kinds of plans. We were soulmates, etc. For 6 months, I got nothing and finally gave up. Then, he started again. I ignored it all for a month. He didn’t stop. We ended up spending Christmas together, and he proposed by giving me a ring wrapped in a soda can. How romantical. The whole time, he said he hadn’t cheated on me and that nothing had happened.
  Just last year, 7 years after we’d been together, we were talking about what to name our baby. He suggested “Molly”. Not to offend anyone with that name, but I wasn’t into it. He got really huffy, and shouted at me that I needed to just leave. He said a lot of really awful things, and then told me that he had cheated on me and he was going to get married to the girl he’d cheated on me with, but she wouldn’t. That was why he had started calling and writing to me again. We had a lot of drama after that, but I’m still here.
  A while back, when we were still in California, we used to share a computer. I found a couple of emails he had sent to Molly asking how she was and stuff. I figured then that it was just a friend. Now I knew better. Since we moved here to Iowa, we’ve gotten 2 computers, and we both had the myspace things. I found he had written to her on there as well. So. I wrote to her. I told her all about what had happened between us and said we were expecting a baby. I asked her if they had a relationship. She said no, that he had asked her out and they’d dated for a while. He told her the same “I’m married, but getting a divorce” thing, only she had the sense to say she was through with him instead of waiting around. After she told me she didn’t want anything more to do with him, and that I should leave him also because he has a horrible temper and our relationship sounded like a lot of emotional abuse, I told him I’d written to her. He hollered some more, and said I needed to move out, he was through with me. He also asked what she said—did she say she loved him? Man. This guy. He has run over my motorcycle. He has broken a lot of my things, as well as his own. He killed my parrot. There is so much that is not right about him, but I do love him. I think he needs some serious counseling. I know I do. I used to have more self-confidence. Since we started dating, he has looked at porn constantly despite our arguments over it. He checks out other females, sometimes outright, sometimes less conspicuously. And he has cheated on me at least that one time. He says that all males look at porn and check out other females.
  Now, he has a job that takes him out of state to places like South Dakota, Omaha, and some other places. I worry, but at the same time I don’t. What makes me upset is that he doesn’t want to get married. What I want is to be able to trust him again. Some days, he takes his motorcycle to work, and I wonder if he ever takes any other females for rides. I want to know that he isn’t cheating on me. I want to get married because if we are, I will feel like he’s decided he doesn’t want to be with anyone else. Heck, I don’t know. That’s what I am mostly upset about. I know I don’t trust him, but I love him. I know I could live without him, but I want to know—that’s what it is. I want to know if he’s cheating on me, or still in love with Molly, or anyone else.
  So, I know how you feel. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. It doesn’t really make sense, and there are people telling you that you should leave him. I know how you feel, that’s all.
  I don’t know anyone out here, and his family does not like me. I have some things to say about that, too, but I’ll do it on another post.
  Take care, I hope you find someone else to be happy with, or that he changes for the better.
  
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago – voted for by fantabulous1981

Last 5 Replies – All 40 replies »

• My guy’s family has a history of being racist.
  

  Thank you—exactly what I was thinking, but didn’t want to offend you, Naina :) The situation is similar, but fixing it is going to be a little bit different.
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago

• I’m bored.
  

  better than runescape, better than wow, better than most mmorpg’s (lol). i never used to be into gaming at all—not board games, not playstation, or anything like that. i used to spend my time riding dirt & street bikes, playing softball, and being outside in general. then, my guy got ran into on his motorcycle and had one of his hands broken badly, so we had to find something else to do. our roommate is the one who started us playing everquest2. it’s actually saved us money since gas is so high, plus, we live out in bfe and it’s at least a half hour to get anywhere with a mall.
  we have also tried sharpshooting/hunting, bowling, clubbing, and other activities. we like eq2.
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago

• I’m bored.
  

  Everquest2 is an online roleplaying game played by many, many people around the world. “Roleplaying” here means you playing a character you created. The settings are pretty much “here there be dragons” kind of thing, though you don’t have to talk weird to play (most people don’t, but there are specific servers if you want to). The graphics are very good, and as the name suggests, there are tons of quests to do, many different places to go, and whole lot of people. It can be very addicting, there is even a site called “Everquest Widows” because some people couldn’t control themselves for some reason. I guess it depends what kind of person you are. It isn’t any kind of cult game, or anything like that. You can meet a lot of different people, and make a lot of friends. You can also find people to pick on if that’s what you like. There are certainly a lot of idgits who play, as well as people you might admire, and plenty of others. There are guilds who try to recruit people with the same values, but a lot of people just play for something to do. If you have more questions, I have more information, not to mention about three years of playing experience. Just fyi, there is a free trial available that you can look up online—just google Everquest2 and download the free trial. If you want to, you can create your character on the Unrest server and I’ll help you out.
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago

• I’m bored.
  

  i like playing everquest2
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago

• My guy’s family has a history of being racist.
  

  True—they are spelled differently for one. As I said, it is something we are working on. It isn’t as easy to break up an eight year relationship with a baby when I believe he is not racist. He does know not to say anything derogatory about races in general around me. Getting him to tell his family they are wrong is another thing, and even then, they probably won’t listen or change. Before you ask, if you were going to, I did not know his family was racist until I moved here with him—roughly six years after we started dating.
  - written 1 year, 7 months ago

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