nanny shark's shout trail with Sans - Help.com

Thanks a lot. That made a lot of sense. I’m just a little afraid of commitment after all of this nonsense I’ve been through.

I think I feel something for someone I know, but I don’t think it could or would ever work out, and I’m positive it isn’t mutual.

Oh well. Guess I’ll keep fighting the good fight! Thanks for the advice.

PS. Yeah, I shouted to myself. Oopsy.

Hi Justin, thanks for the shout. You have a tough question. I’m not sure I have the wisdom you need, but I’ll give it a shot.

When I was much younger, in high school and college, I thought I had found my soul mate. I became best friends with a girl in high school. I had a secret crush on her, and put off telling her how I felt until college. I can’t say we finished each other’s sentences, but we were both into writing and poetry and grew very close. When we went off to college, we visited each other, and predictably began dating. But that wasn’t to be. Turning the friendship into a relationship ruined the friendship. She broke up and broke my heart.

I had my heart broken a couple of more times in college, but I never felt that spiritual bond with those girls. And in my twenties I know I broke one or two hearts myself.

I determined in my twenties to wait for the woman “that God had for me”. The standard I set was that she had to love Jesus, have a heart for the poor and be attractive.

When I was 35 I fell very much in love. That’s a really long time to wait, so you must be thinking, wow, sans found someone who filled all three criteria. And you’d be wrong. She met only one of them. She was attractive. Yes, she was a good person. Yes, she was spiritual in her own way. But her dedication to God was not much more than lip service, and her regard for the poor was in theory only. That may sound harsh, so let me add without false modesty that my own failings are equal to hers.

Although we both fell deeply in love, I would now admit that it was at least 90% sexual attraction. And that’s not what is essential for someone to be your soul mate. As the attraction faded, I became disillusioned and cynical. I all but lost my faith in God and in myself. Having my son, and later my daughter, was all that kept me from giving up on life. Their mom and I have been divorced for almost two years.

So to answer your questions.. Yes, I do believe in soul mates. Yes I believe in love. Falling in love is a wonderful and powerful thing, but is also deceptive. It’s what keeps our species making babies. When two people become sexually active, they greatly increase the odds that they will fall in love, whether or not they are soul mates. Reason and objectivity go out the window. A person in love can rationalize anything.

Some people do find soul mates. For some of those, it’s also the person they fall in love with. I believe you have the potential to become soul mates with, not just one person on the planet, but with any one of millions out there. There are that many woman living today, Justin, who could understand and click with you as never before. When people tell you that God has that “special one” for you, well maybe he does if you believe in fate. That’s not how I see it. Finding the one love of your life is not at all like looking for a needle in a haystack, but more like looking for the straw that feels right, and then working to keep love alive through the tough times.

You’ll find her if you keep looking.

Hey there, sansceriph. Just thought I’d drop a line or two, haven’t heard from you in a while.

I do have a couple of questions for you, though they may seem odd coming from a 21-year-old.

I don’t know if you’re married or have a girlfriend or whatnot, but do you believe in soulmates? I just want to know how you felt when you thought you found ‘the one’. I’ve been through so many relationships that have been a waste of time (and by so many, I mean two), and I know it’s different for different people, but how does it feel to click with someone?

I know there are other things that I should definitely worry about right now, but I just got out of what I thought was going to be THE relationship. It’s very stressful; I lost my number one fan, my biggest supporter, and my best friend all in one fell swoop. I’m putting forth a pretty good effort at moving on, but I miss the feeling of having that person in my life.

I just feel kind of lost. Lots of things were going on at the time we broke up (my initial post was prompted by said things), and it was just the straw on the camel’s back for me.

I guess I just want an older, more experienced view on this abstract concept we call love. What do you think?

Thanks. I’m glad you care, it really does help. In fact, I’m glad everyone on this site cares. Really is a brilliant idea.

Do whatever you can to see her as soon as you can. I don’t think anyone would fault you for talking about your grandmother in that post. Courty (ranger) knows you’re feeling her pain. It’s all good.

She really is. I hated to interject my own problems into that post, but it really did help to read that. I’m supposed to go visit her next weekend, hopefully.

Hey Justin, I’m sorry to hear about your Mamaw. She must be a great woman.

Hey, not too bad. About to start summer session at college. About to hit the sack myself. How are you doing?

Hey Justin, how are you? I’m about to log out and get some sleep, just wanted to say hi.

Hey jwombles, thanks for the shout. I know a few things, but like they say, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing! Unfortunately I have never tried to navigate the waters of financial aid, scholarships and grants. My parents put me through school, and I worked weekends. Just make a post about it. There are tons of people here who are in college or grad school who will know where to steer you.

Hey there, you seem like a pretty knowledgeable guy. I was wondering if you could help me out. I am completely lost when it comes to financial aid and was wondering if, besides scholarships or loans, if there was anything else I could do to put myself through school. If not, then what is the easiest way to go about getting available scholarships? No one in the financial aid dept. is very helpful.

Yeah, it’s kind of weird. I love Jesus, but I think Christianity and the Bible have serious flaws.

Thanks for the shout. I read your profile, too. You seem like a pretty genuine guy. Thanks for the comment on beliefs, by the way. That one made the most sense, and was closest to what I think.

Hey jwombles, we have a couple of things in common. I was a journalism major at UGA. And my grandmother died of lung cancer when I was around 19. And I’m a Christian, but a very open-minded one.