Drealee's reply history at Help.com

Have you thought about getting some counseling. Maybe you would learn why it has been so hard for you to let go, and enable you to move on. One and half years seems like a really long time to still have someone consume your thoughts liek you have desribed. Also, have you tried making a list of the positve attributes he added to your life when you were together against the negative? SOmetimes seeing the whole picture can help you make a decision. Without know the whole picture it sounds like another realtionship with him may be an ‘on and off’ thing again. Is that what you want in your life? Or do want some stability and a family with a normal relationship? Someone who loves, respects, and is considerate?

We really don’t fight a lot. We used to. Since I have been telling him how I feel he has been very nice. But still no work around the house, or helping with the kids. And well, no sex for such a long time, it is hard not to day dream about ya know, having freaky sex with strangers. That is not really like me but, I am lonley. THe kids are 5 and 7, and they love thier daddy. I think over a long time we could work it out possibly, but I almost feel like thier is too much water under the bridge, and I don’t have anything left. I know I am not attracted to him at all. I feel bad for him becasue he has been trying, but history whispers, “how long will he be nice and try, he wil go back to his old ways.” I found this site last night and I can;t tell you how nice it is to have different perceptives. Thank you and anything else you can say would be great!

no

Sister - You are not married to him. Thier are men out there that would treat you human. I know there are. Get rid of him, focus on the joy of your kids, live life, and someone will turn up.

DOn’t know really what to say except I am lonley too. It is partly my fault, I could go and do things and meet people, but I don’t, because I am in a bad marriage and am depressed. Why are you lonley?

I feel the same. Not so much that people want to sell me things, but I am lonely. I am even married, just waitin to get out. Not wanting to have another relationship, but would like friends.