sahara's reply history at Help.com

ok good. :) i was feeling very bad… and then i found im pregnant so i had to ask.

what have you been eating? drink lots of water…

are you pregnant?

you are spending too much present time focusing on something that cannot be changed. try focusing on today and tomorrow and what you can do to change your reality into what you want. friends are always around… you just have to be open to meeting them. what has happened in the past just is what is it… and it was what you needed at the time. i think you are learning now that you need more in life… and you are totally in control of that. take control of your present moments… and relax. life can be wonderful… and its the journey to finding it that makes living life worth it.

scorpions can climb anything. they don’t like lavender scent. so some lavender potpourri might do you some good. i live in the desert with the scorpions… they tend to leave you alone if you leave them alone. they are more frightened of you than you are of them. good luck
s

i’m keeping the baby. i am pro-choice… but obviously not mine. i want to experience this.

and we will work it out.

everyone is beginning to find out in our families…
there is excitement stirring up love everywhere…

its sort of magical.

thanks for all the discussion.

-s

i used a condom
and im pregnant

i am an artist. i do portraits and make crafts and have been supporting myself that way. it works when you are single… but

i can’t support a child.
i have the mans support… but like said, i really don’t want to feel obligated to him.

i cannot afford this
which is why i am even considering abortion.

i will qualify for many state benefits…
i’m still weighing my options.

well i appreciate all the concern.

once you are actually in these shoes… it is hard to know.

i am definitely Pro-choice. and i agree with not putting a baby into an already strained situation if you can help it.

i wouldn’t do adoption because if i am going to put my body through this, i would really like to have something to show for in the end. hehehe. this pregnancy thing… isn’t easy. i’m puking everyday already. this isn’t a fun thing to do and then just give it up at the end.
my mother was adopted so i am not against it… i just think for me personally with how my body is and who i am, i wouldn’t do it.

now with the boyfriend… yes he is a good guy. he is very responsible and wants to do the right thing. yes that is a blessing that i have a father for this child that wants to be part of its life and help support it and me. i agree with all of that. just because he is a great person doesn’t mean i am in love with him. and the problem here is that he is in love with me and he wants to have a life with me where we are in love. he would rather me have an abortion than be separated parents. and i see that… i suppose.

i just have to think long and hard about this.
on the pro and con list i made… pro only had like two things. where con was full.
so i think abortion may be the right answer for me at this point in my life.

i just don’t know yet.

thanks everyone.

well i personally think 17 is a little young for any sort of dating unless its another 17 year old. but that is just me.

18-25 is decent.
18-35 can have bumps.
18-45 unless you have a really great connection it can be awkward.
18-55 then you just have to deal with too many judgements.
18-65 golddigging
18-75 waiting for inheritance
18-85 gross

i was 25 when i dated my boyfriend of four years who was 43 - it was good a lot of the time but it isolated me from my own age group a lot. i felt alone. and we had many differences just based on the eras we grew up in. it was fun but i knew it wouldn’t be forever.

it is fun to live… just don’t get too carried away.
keep your wits about you and don’t get taken advantage of.
and try to stay away from the married ones. :P

i say go all the way and be a professor.

take art.

teach every age group at least once… even if its just subbing.

see if you really like that field…

you never know you might just be a great landscape artist :P

all i can say is live fully and find happy wherever it lies.

-s

sure thing… i understand you.

when things have been left for a while it does seem like you don’t know where to begin.

you are on the right track though… just by being here.

:D

if you want to email me you can as well…
sahara@ elp . rr. com

that might work.

:D

try sending each other shout outs… emails may show there. :D

good luck.

see… friends are hiding everywhere :D

aww. well - being close to someone… is your choice. it seems you have expressed yourself very well here. maybe here is a good place for now. :) there are certainly no judgments because we don’t know you! :D

life is full of lessons… and i think perhaps this is one of yours. friends aren’t hard to come by really… a little humor and honesty goes a long way… because we are all humans with issues. :)

what are your issues ? make a list.

perhaps writing out letters to your friends … even if you don’t send them, it helps to just get it out of your head. and maybe call a friend up and say i need 20 minutes and read the letter you wrote and talk about it as much as you can in those 20 minutes. i am very isolated from my friends as well… they have all moved off to colleges or started families and i am 30 and still live in the same town. i suppose i am the rock for some people. my friends that are too busy call me because i am not that way. i choose to live my life peacefully and quietly. don’t get me wrong i like the hustle bustle of a big city type life, but maybe just as a vacation. i enjoy myself and my isolation. i have learned to accept it as a gift. so i am sorry you are out of touch with your people. it is important to remain in contact with those that are close to you. i say… try harder! :D i think any friend worth his salt would stop and listen to you if you really needed it. just don’t be ashamed to ask for the time and the help. :)

the combination of low esteem and vanity is strange. you become vain to convince yourself that you are worthwhile? my niece is 16 and acts this way. i think my main advice would be to look in that mirror again and look at your life and who you are and what you have accomplished and collected over the years. and think about other people - in other countries or with serious health issues or… all those people too shy to even have a boyfriend or girlfriend. be grateful you have someone.

at the same time… maybe being alone and on your own would be worthy as well. do some things on your own - and realize you are a very capable person that is capable of doing a lot. be proud of yourself. you are alive and you cry… those are good signs. if you were blissfully happy you wouldn’t have room to learn anything. :)

life is about the journey - its about feeling uncomfortable and seeking the good out. :) you are a good person - it is obvious from your letter. you are full of feelings and that is wonderful. just dont be afraid of them. embrace who you are!

i cry a lot too… and to me it is just a sign that i am human and i am alive.

there is a quote from a good book called Don’t Get Too Comfortable by David Rackoff that i like a lot.

“…and it is sh*t ultimately. or some corporeal effluvial cousin thereof. This sloughing off and scouring down to the walls is about a denial that has little to do with doing without. It is not so much as a terrified repudiation of the essential nature of what we are: Great sloshing, suppating bags of wet, prone to rupture. Mental messes waiting to happen.”

we are just bags of sloshing emotion… trying not to spill on each other. and i just want to say… it is ok to spill. :D we all do it.