barneywest's profile at Help.com

User Involvement

Last 4 Posts Authored

• What do you think is the best treatment for depression? posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  [poll: counseling, medication, vitamin supplements, exercise, healthy diet, all of the above]…

• Does anybody know of a job where you are continually giving people really great news, perhaps life-changing (Just good positive stuff, preferable something posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  anybody know of a job where you are continually giving people really great news, perhaps life-chang…

• I need 10 Million Dollars - Any ideas on how to obtain this amount? posted (1 year, 3 months) ago
  After making fairly detailed calculations of upcoming expenses, I have arrived at a figure of ~$9.…

• My first gay companion was my last. posted (1 year, 4 months) ago
  We were together for 15 years. He died recently of cancer related to HIV/AIDS. I only found out afte…

• All Claimed Posts »

Last 5 Replies – All 58 replies »

• How do you remove images from google images that have been cached from image links from photobucket on a forum(here)?
  

  Can you re-state the question? Exactly what is happening versus what you were expecting to happen?
  - written 1 month, 2 weeks ago

• All the girls i like go to my brother instead of me
  

  Get the goods on your brother. Use them to subtly undermine his success until, eventually, his world comes crashing around him. March in and steal his women. ha ha. Just joking. Don’t do that.
  
  For real now. It sounds like you are a younger brother. If that is the case, then all I can say is “Your Time Will Come”. I suppose that you are thinking that all things are good in your brother’s life. Guess again. There is always something.
  
  Be your own man! Determine what are your positive points and emphasize them. Work on them. Then look at your deficiencies and do what you can to make them somewhat better. Lift weights! Girls love muscles and boys respect them. If you are not the body type to get super-guns in 3 weeks, try being athletic in some other way. Jog. Be nice. Smile. Even finding some good, but not too dirty jokes to tell girls is enough of an ice breaker to get you noticed. Find your own crowd. Concentrate on your own life, not your brothers. Join a club.
  
  Or, as I have said, if you are just the younger brother who is perhaps not as physically “grown up”, ignore all and just give it some time, you will get there. Well, dont ignore the advice above, it can work. It has worked.
  
  Most of all, avoid getting a crush on your brother. ha ha
  
  If he has attributes that are truly positive, he may be hero material. If so, use him as an example as to how you should live your life. Be aware that I do not know too many older brothers who are truly “hero material - at least not while in primary schooling or high school or whatever it is called whereever you are.
  - written 3 months, 3 weeks ago

• I’m totally ******* isolated.
  

  Isolated physically, emotionally, spiritually or all three? You know what? If you can endure it, hanging in there will sometimes bring a change to the better on its own. To improve the chances of that, FORCE yourself to get up and about and to connect with people - even strangers - even just being polite to start with is enough to swing the scales in the direction of things getting better.
  
  But you know what? You seem to be very very despondent and I think that first you should FORCE yourself to talk to someone who really cares about you; failing that, contact a suicide or emotional help line and find out if there are some group meetings or resources that can get you started up in the right direction. Important! Make a doctor’s appointment and actually attend. The same goes for the above recomemdations - if asked to attend somewhere, no matter how you feel, put one foot in front of the other, take small steps and actually attend. Write things down about your situation if you think that you either wont have the courage to speak out, or think that you will forget or miss some key aspect of what is ailing you. Be truthful! That is why an anonymous group is good, you can be truthful without worrying about “goship”. Are alcohol or drugs involved? Narcotics anonymous or alcoholics anonymous are good starting points. Speak up about your issue - even the one line you wrote is enough for starters.
  
  Severe depression can be a part of other illnesses and there are treatments. Hey, I am one of those happy people who, after 38 years, slowly and the rapidly plunged into mind numbing depression. I got some pills - too many maybe, but they help. In fact, I am a little scared about stopping to take them as I FEAR that state I was in, which seems very similar to what you are experiencing (if it can be ascertained by a few sentences that you wrote).
  
  Are you religious at all, try church and/or prayer.
  
  On the other hand …
  
  Are you a PR*****? If so, try being nicer.
  
  People care. Strangers can provide the kind of kindness that can really help. Look in the telephone book for such groups, or just go to a church talk to someone there. Dont overlook your family and friends, they may seem like the dont care, but if they truly knew what you have written above, I think they might help a lot.
  
  Hell, I care. NO real reason to - I dont know where it comes from, but if I do, I bet a heck of a lot of the 6.5 billion people on this planet might feel the same.
  
  So, your not alone. Your wonderful. Don’t through your hand. Search these terms on the internet and find the corresponding songs. They may help.
  
  Take care,
  
  Barney
  - written 3 months, 3 weeks ago

• I need 10 Million Dollars - Any ideas on how to obtain this amount?
  

  ..wait, I have more to say…
  
  If someone mentions that it is better to give emotional support or similar, that may be true in some circumstances, when the support actually makes a difference. But I was actually on the giving end of that for a long long time and I never seemed to get any of it back when I needed it. At least not from the people I helped in that way, there family, nor there friends - in fact, I had my life forced drained by the experience. It was one-way. I guess I was the stranger who gave and gave and in the end, only the recipient knew how much I had given, and that recipient died. Try providing daily emotional and health support and care to someone for 8 years and have them give up on you and die. Its like being slapped up the side of your head a million times with a million pound wrecking ball, it still goes on years later but to a much lessor extent.
  
  I got that off my chest whew!
  
  Wait, there is more.
  
  Well, to those of you who give and give and give and when it is time for you to get a little, you dont, and are never appreciated, and perhaps somehow maybe even vilified by other so-called loved ones that show up during the last hours. To those of you I have to say - I hope you realize that the phrase “unsung hero” truly does apply to you. Perhaps the word “sucker” does as well, but I don’t think that these type of people let that bother them. Not for long. They shrug it off and do what it is that they have determined to be their duty. To the bitter end.
  
  Do you think that “…in richness and poorness, in health and sickness, till death do you part…” has a place in this world? What if your partner is being treated with drugs that make him or her NASTY in many ways? What if the illness and drugs change the personality of your loved one for the worse? So much so that friends and other family “drop away” - not being able to handle a personality change on top of gripes about pain, sadness, and the “why me attitude” that occurs in many cases. What if there was some betrayal of those vows by your ill partner? Do vows mean anything in that case?
  - written 3 months, 3 weeks ago

• I need 10 Million Dollars - Any ideas on how to obtain this amount?
  

  Well, how long has it been? A year? Somewhere around there. Is it possible to raise the 10 Million USD? The short answer is YES!
  
  Excuse my long ramble. It is late, I am tired, and I have a lot on my mind, if you read on, your gonna get a sense of it, thats for sure.
  
  Thanks to someone who asked me not to identify them, neither real name nor alias, I was instantly put on the right track. Not too many people have a benifactor to the tune of 10 mil, maybe none - on the other hand, 10 million is like a drop in the bucket for many many people in this world (thats USD). Well, my benifactor could have handed that amount of cash over without negatively impacting their life AT ALL, but, as I came to realize, the corresponding self esteem of “making that money” is something that is very important (along with the other positive boosts to your emotional psych). If I won a lottery for 10 million, I know I would not value that money as much as if I earned it in a more traditional manner - through work, talent, and luck. One exception would be if you are ill and have an appointment with the terminator - in that case, you need the money NOW so that you can experience some fantastic things before you are overcome by illness. It may even help you resist whatever the terminal disease is that you are fighting through better medical care, better location, better outlook, and other benifets. BTW - but I can tell you with absolute certainty, your bank account will not matter to you in those last days and hours of your life - when you know the end is near (even the funeral expenses will not bother you in those last hours). Okay, maybe if you have kids that are dependant on having some cash to live and you were the only provider, maybe then you will take that to the grave with you - I dont know.
  
  Some interesting letters back and forth, followed by more, followed by telephone conversations, followed by the fateful meeting which I might have blown off, as it was inconvenient and despite all assurances and evidence to the contrary, I was always looking to get the metaphorical (or real) “knife in the back”.
  
  The money did not come from my benifactor, at least, most of if did not. Still, I guess it was a substancial amount. What it enabled me to do, with constant coaching and someone who really believed in me, was to recognize my talent(s) and put effort in exactly the right place where it had maximum impact. Total focus may be the best way to think of it. 100% commitment helped. Luck definitely came in to play. Coming out of my shell and attending functions that I NEVER would have previously and almost found unbearable at first. Forcing myself to meet people, who knew people, who wanted desperately what I had to offer. They wanted it more than even I wanted what I wanted. Soon, I was actually helping these “new contacts” get what they wanted for prices they found to be “outstandingly under-valued”. It was difficult to make the decision to actually believe in myself enough to accept the situation. I did. I went for it. It was a blitz.
  
  Now, thanks to my benifactor, I have come to a good percentage of my goal and the anticipate attaining it within another year or so. Already I have begun to pay my debts, and have helped many people - those family and friends that I intimately knew needed the help. People that I KNOW were not scamming me. Easy to find. In the future, if things keep going, it will be harder to sort out the “good” from the scammers, but I believe that one on one assistance is about the most rewarding thing in the world. It is such a rush! Now, or soon to now, with me not having to worry about the $$ future of my family and loved ones, I can allow myself to sink into the life I always wanted without angst about the future (lets face it, money fears, fears of running out of it are very real to those, like me, who have actually ran out of it. To go from one who either provided for themselves always and even was able to be a provider to one who needs $$$ help is a horrible place to be. It is so difficult to admit that you even need help. I could not really. I was ashamed. I had to broadly present my circumstance without letting anyone know just how truly “up the creek” I was. I sure hope those I gave money to in the past did not feel the way I did, but I guess they must have.
  
  Yes, one of the not to secret secrets of life is that it is MUCH MUCH funner to give than it is to receive - getting to the point where you can be on the giving end is a worthy goal. I believe in the term “cash flow” - cash should always flow.
  - written 3 months, 3 weeks ago

barneywest's conversations are tagged:

life, friends, Love, school, girl, Year, depression, sex, sleep, Thought, house, guy, marriage, suicide, Hospital, happiness, kill, High school, work, Felt, Help, Mental confusion, Day, woman, Relationships