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okay so…
all of my best friends cut/used to, so i know a lott about it even though i have never done it myself. i know why you do it, how it feels…but more importantly, what it does to you. you start with a small cut and it helps you relieve stress. at first, you only do it when youre really really stressed, and you make tiny cuts. you tell yourself its the only thing that helps, its not that bad…you make excuses. then you start to become more dependent on it. instead of helping relieve stress, it becomes the only way to relieve stress. instead of cutting only when youre really really stressed, you do it whenever youre slightly not happy. and your tiny cuts become bigger and deeper and begin to scar. when you start you dont think youre oging to become addicted…you tell yourself that you know you can handle it…but you will. youll need it. so you dont stop. and now you have to hide the cuts, hide the scars, even from your closest friends. when people make cutting jokes….”omg you ate my cookie im gonna go be emo and cut in the corner!!” youll cringe. you know that theyd never accept you if they knew. youre ashamed. you begin to push everyone away, and you dont know why. you think about cutting constantly. your life will revolve around it. every time you see something sharp…kitchen knives, scissors, even pen caps…youll think about it and want to cut. and all this time, youll be telling yourself that you can stop whenever youw ant to. and then one day, youll want to stop….and you wont be able to. you wont be able to go a day without cutting. youll leave to “go to the bathroom” in school, and youll cut there. youll sit in class and break your skin with a pen cap. youll cut when youre at a sleepover, at camp…it ownt matter where you are, who youre with, or how much you love them…all you want is to cut. your live revolves around it; doing it and hiding it.
and then one day, youll find the strength to stop. it will be one of the hardest things that you will ever have to do. it will take time, energy, courage, and perseverence…because you will have relapses. and youll realize that it wasnt worth it. that the scars werent worth it. that, no matter what you do, no matter how many different types of scar cream you try, they will never fade. because now, everywhere you go, people will see. theyll notice if you always wear long shirts and pants, and theyll notice if you have scars all over your body. youll think of excuses, but people wont buy them. youll lie when they ask you what happened. and if you tell them…theyll label you. its something that will stay with you forever…the scars, the memories, and possibly even the desire.
- written 1 year, 6 months ago
depression, religion, suicide, anorexia, cutting, Abortion, eating disorders, Cut, bullemia
Stop, depression, Cut, cutting
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