mumstheword's reply history at Help.com

so what are we listening to?

I feel like singing along!

(help.com dives for cover)

No you’re not Maxin.

Just do what you’re comfortable with.

For me, it depends on what the writer is saying. You can usually pick that up in a couple of lines or so. I tend not to be much help with the “bf txting me sayz, like, yeah.. an anyhow.. shuld.. wot.. cool or way off-base or wot?” kind of posts. It takes me too long to work out what the heck they’re saying and by the time I have someone has usually responded with a helpful “yah.. go gurl” or something.

I do have a tendency to dispute the “essays in righteousness” which suggest nobody else has a valid viewpoint unless it agrees with the one in the header. Particularly when I see a misinterpretation of reality veiled as an “undeniable truth”. And I tend to dive in with both webbed feet when people insist on presenting “facts” that are not really facts at all… so yes, those kind of lengthy posts probably get TOO much of my attention.

On the other hand, the posts that I find most tedious are the one-liners. You know the sort I mean? You THINK you know what they’re asking. It looks pretty straightforward, albeit a bit limited in info. So you helpfully chip in… then woosh… half way down the page the OP declares that the post has nothing whatsoever to do with what it says at the top of the page and how DARE you suggest what you did??

And now and then you get a lengthy post that you just know is someone pouring out years of torment… and then, I find myself unable to walk away.

So.

What was it you wanted to know again? hee hee. ;)

[quote Tymbus]http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2013/jan/25/stephen-king-gun-control-essay-amazon-nra?CMP=twt_gu[/quote]

where’s the like button ?

I’ll be honest, hun. I think that it’s more about you desperately searching for relief from those issues than it is wanting to be with this other man.

In your confusion and hurt, it’s understandable that you would want to find escape back to a time when you thought you were happier.. but I don’t think you’ll find that happiness there. Really.

Grief does create confusion and stirs up all sorts of emotions.

And much as they say that time heals and all that, it’s clear that there is a lot of grief and anger and self-resentment lurking there.

Here’s what I would recommend.

Instead of putting yourself in a situation which could end in disaster for you and make matters so much worse, try and get some counselling to help you resolve all those issues that are confusing you right now. The abortion, the controlling mother, the divorce, the death of your husband… those are tough, tough issues to have hanging over you for life. You need help to resolve where you are at with them.

Now is not the time to be making decisions about leaving the love and stability you do have. Now is the time to focus on really getting those old wounds healed.

It sounds like you have the support of a wonderful man in the background there. Ask him if he’ll help you get some counselling maybe?

I think you need to go to your doctor and tell him how you are feeling.

If you are struggling with this to the extent where you are feeling suicidal, then that is not normal.

Ring and make an appointment first thing Monday morning.

Tell the doctor that you are obsessing about things that you should be in control of.. that you cannot cope in normal situations.. that you have suicidal thoughts.

Seriously, if things are this bad.. you need proper help.

Lost in Space.

It inspired a whole creative side in me when it came to building robots out of hoover bits and cardboard boxes..

And the special effects? Wow. Out of this world as far as we were concerned!

Everybody has bad days.

Not everybody recognises that they impact on others.

So why be sorry that you were sorry?

Shows that you recognise the importance of your friend’s feelings and that you care about what happens in your friend’s world.

In other words.. what does sexuality have to do with being whoever you want to be in the world? Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. Not in my book, anyhow.

So go be a journalist and tell anyone who feels they need to know about your sexuality first to go jump off a cliff.

If you WANT to tell people, that’s your choice. If you don’t, there’s absolutely no reason why you should have to? In the same way as I don’t have to discuss what I do with my partner at work or where my tendencies lie..

Hope that clears it up Linuxya?

Please do not misinterpret my words Linuxya.

He is ABSOLUTELY free to do whatever heterosexuals do.

My question is why does he feel the need to justify/discuss his sexuality with others at all?

True equality only comes when you realise that NOBODY has a right to know anything about your sexuality except your partner.

If people can’t handle the fact that some are gay, some are heterosexual.. they are the ones with issues.

I say, demand your right to equal privacy!!

[quote Anonymous][quote mumstheword]How would you know if an image was the real person anyhow Irshad?

I could put a picture of my great aunt nelly up and you’d be none the wiser..[/quote]

Are you actually a woman tho’[/quote]

Well there we are.. see?

You just never can tell. Photo or no photo.

Hence the need to be extremely cautious eh?

How would you know if an image was the real person anyhow Irshad?

I could put a picture of my great aunt nelly up and you’d be none the wiser..

Having seen what can damage can be done by trolls who get hold of your photo, fraudsters who get hold of personal information AND your photo, ex-partners who find you on websites, young people who get bullied by unknowns over their appearance, the employees who have lost jobs for being recognised … and more… it is, for me, important that people understand the potential consequences of putting their image on an open site where there is no control whatsoever over who sees that image.

It is a matter of personal choice of course.

But unlike other sites, such as Facebook for example, it is not possible to prevent undesirables from accessing your image. You have no control over it at all.

Given that some of the users here are minors, there never will be an obligation to reveal your true self without backlash from the likes of myself..

It would be hypocritical of a teacher to say “don’t eat in class” whilst tucking into cake.

And so it would be for me.

yes yes it would.