Mika's shoutbox - Help.com

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HAHAHAH thats ok I did the same thing! LOL:)

Hey! First of all thanks for writting me back you have no idea how great it is to be able to relate to someone about this!!! I have told a friend about what was going on. In fact it was kind of a process of elimintion per say! hah Anyway, the way it played out in my head was ideal! However, in reality it didn’t go that way at all. She basically listened to what I had to say then said “thats stupid” and when on her way talking about herself. It really hurt. Mainly I guess because I spent all this time worrying about who I was going to tell and who I could trust and it seemed for nothing. I hate to say it but it feels like I was brought down a few degress by her reaction. IDK, I guess that’s why I’m a little leary about telling another person close to me. I haven’t even told my boyfriend about it. He asks me questions sometimes about my cuts that he can see. I just play them off as from my cat or generalize the answer like “oh, hard telling” Which in a way isn’t totally lying cause it is hard telling him about them LOL! I’m trying to focus on the postive but you know sometimes it’s like I get all happy then want to cut becasue I’m happy. I know it sounds weird but if I’m happy, then I want to be the one to make the pain. IDK, I guess I’m a freak. I’m gunna give your advice a try. I know it’s gunna be hard I’m not looking for an easy way out. I know what you mean when you said, ‘when you’re sad you only look at whats in front of you’ Thats totally where I’m at. Thanks alot Mika, you mean a lot to me:) I hope to talk to you soon if you want to my email is (email removed)! Thanks again:)

LOL!!! It’s ok I’m just glad my bad experience could help someone. No I didn’t go to a councilor. I found a guy @ my school who I felt I could talk to and I found I could. I told him in a letter that I was depressed and that was cutting myself and tried to kill myself. (sorry If thats a bit scary.) Thats why I said if you cant find anyone else than talk to a councilor Cause a friend is there when you need them and you don’t have to make an appointment. What helped was that the person I was talking to helped me look around and see things. When you’re sad you only look at whats in front of you and feel that’s all there is, but I looked around and found that there was alot to life and I should try to be a part of it instead of being alone. He also helped me cause I found everyone has their problems to deal with its just how we choose to deal with them. He had a very hard life. An abusive, drunk father. I mother who never had enough money so thier life was hard. I found that even when things get hard you have to find the light in things and it may not be what you think. I found that having good friends was my light. I didn’t see I had them until I looked around. I had a hard time controling the urges. It took a lot of self disipline but I tried to convince myself not to by saying, people will see or something that would deter me from doing it even if it sounded stupid. Just try to not to think about whats making sad at that moment and try to think of the good thats in your life. Like friends or school or even a boy if it helps. When you focus on all the bad stuff, you wont see any of the good. Sometimes I still get urges but I never do it cause I tell myself, I’m too good for that and I didn’t survive all that just so I could do this again. I did part of it myself but I had help from a friend who was with me all the way. He made me feel better about myself and made me feel I wasn’t worthless. Sorry so long I’ve thought alot about things so I have alot to say. Hope it helps. Shout me back, k?

Did you talk to a councilor? What made those feelings just not come storming back? How do you control the urges? Is it something you did by yourself?…Wow, sorry about all the questions I feel like a 4 year old again haha

haha thanks! What I meant though was what made you stop cutting yourself? Haha I guess I didn’t finish my thought :)

Hey Mika, thanks for commenting me back I appreciate it!:) What made you stop?