~*Bleeding_Heart*~'s shoutbox - Help.com

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http://help.com/post/303963-love-or-m…

You’r Welcome There
Thanks Very Much

Hope you’re OK, hope the storms these last days didn’t bring you down too much - I know allot of people haven’t been liking the weather (I kind of love it though).. hope things with school are working out too but it’s weekend now so time to ignore that and relax a little!

Wishing you a great day *hugs* Siggy.

It’s funny you say just talking is good, it does help to read other people vent and ramble - because allot of the times I’m like: wait that’s what I’m feeling too, or I’ve been there, I feel all connected and that can be pretty cool :)

Celebrating 2 months of no self-harm, watched that Brüno movie earlier on: it’s great fun! Really took my mind of things today. Hope you’re having a good day. *hug*

Thats good :)

hello, may i ask how you day was?

Hi Kim , I’m Ron.

:( no its not, its a sad thing

o not good, vacation will do you good.

that doesnt sound to reassuring but okay.

:D

Erm..How are you?

OOO wait hello, Im meg, Nice to meet you ^_^

hey…

It’s good to see you back on here, I just sort of returned after my latest mistake. I think I should get bonus points for not only getting myself into an ER but doing it on holiday (going was one big impulsive thing) and getting myself a 3 day stay at a crisis centre in the US. Lesson: I’ve done things way more intense but I’ve never seen a reaction like I did in the US.

I really wish there was some way I could help with the internship thing, but I’m kind of clueless on the whole subject. I going to do some more thinking.. it probably won’t help (too obsessed with food today)

bloody thing cud hav done wid a chat

hi sorry i missed you again am not the happiest bunny look darl look 4ward too chattn wen we get the chance!! spk soon i hope ;$

hey good too hear ure out of the hosp, i know the feeln of wantn too be around others but, its gettn harder for me too do! im waitn too go bk too treatment, am jus feeln realy low drop me a line ok?!! am on facebook quite alot now but!! am feeln so fxxkn low oh well take care look 4ward too hearin from u!!!!

=)

Im good, thanks for asking.

“And when i finally fall asleep i cant wake up lol”

hahahaha
Yea, I know how that feels.

Thanks for shouting!
Take care Kim.

“…so now im alone and completely helpless… Feel so weird”

Think a lil’ bit on what you think is right, try and sort out those emotions.
I know its hard cause Ive been there (foggy mind, crazy thoughts rushing, hard to sleep, etc… I hate it), cry if you have to.

BTW,
Do you plan on going back to school?

I hope you are better.
Thanks for the shout!

=)

“F*cking hate him hes blaming me for all crap… Feel so damn bad!! Really need some help”

Bad from what?
Doesn’t he treat you w/disrespect?

I really do not know what to say about that bc I actually saw the relationship as unhealthy, especially for you, know what I’m saying?

I hope you are doing a bit better Kim.

Im so sry for not sending any msg sooo long…

Dont worry about it, your good.

“Got stitches 2 times and my parents are going nuts…But im ok now… “

=o
Really??
Thats the cutting?
How many?
Damn heart, thats gotta hurt.

“U r actually the only 1 in my life who showes any care (beside family)…”

Thanks…
Now look, I see you as a human being that suffers, hurts and has feelings like I do. We are all humans Heart.
I do what I can from here. Im trying to make you see that there is more to you than what you see….you can do better, I know that some people in this life probably can’t, but I dont think you are one of them….You are hella’ young and can do it.

Whatever happened w/school?

Can you tell me why you do what you do?

what things go thru your mind Heart?

Do you feel stressed out?

“Even my bf doesnt… We kinda broke up… Not really said its over or anything but i dont talk to him on msn i just send him a sms sometimes… I have hurt him so bad i dont think he even wants me back… I didnt contact him for 2 weeks and at that time he felt like killing himself… He told me ‘Im dead to u’ and ‘im only alive for my parents and sisters’… It hurts me so much… Need a shoulder to cry on… but there is noone for me… absolutely noone…”

Kim….I log on to Help way more than I do w/an e-mail. I dont want you to thiink that “me not responding to your emails via email” is a “Joey doesnt care” thing.
Now….as for your bf, I know you remember what I previously told you about him, do not settle for someone who you know hurts you. IMO, I think you are better off w/out him, and focusing on “what you want to be when you grow up” thing…
Let me tell you a lil bit about me…Ive felt alone a great part of my damn life, I have suffered a lot and been rejected many times, I have had to walk out of relationships that I later found were just unhelathy to me….I have cried all alone in my room, felt like I was dying at times bc of it, grieved for 7-9 months in my last case, but one thing I can tell you from experience is that if you know that what you are doing is the right thing, you will be OK.
I do still feel like crap, walk around internally depressed and feeling alone sometimes, but I prefer to be like this than to be pushed down even more by knowing Im w/someone who constantly hurts me and I feel does not respect me as I should be respected….you know?

What do you think would be the right thing to do in your situation?

Let me know.
And let me know how u are doing.
Thank you for replying and letting me know you are still there. I appreciate your shouts.

“Anyway thx… Hope u are ok… “

Im Ok, thanks for asking, and you are welcome BTW.
=D

Keep in touch!

Dear Kim, how are things, better then last week I hope?

What?!

I go for like 4 days and this is what I get?
Why the cutting Heart_?

Im guessing that what the psyc says is not new to you. It doesnt seem new to me, I knew for sure that you were giving signs of depression and had low self esteem which brings up that “bad self image” . I have that myself, but I dont think trhat I have it at your same level. I do know how it feels though, I can relate.
Im trying to stay OK. I took some time off help, idk where Im headed.
Im planning to do some sort of self studying too (computer stuff, networking) to see if I can later take on some tests for certifications. I need a better paying job.
I can barely pay my apt, cel and groceries. I dont even go out, nor drink, nor smoke. Issues are getting tighter.

Hope you better.
Dont cut. It hurts more.
Talk to me.
Damn,
I cant believe I actually feel sad to hear you are cutting….really.

Hey, how are you feeling today?

Wow, flu? that sucks.

I can relate to what you say, I feel like crap myself, I feel deeper in my depression and pretty pathetic, pushing myself away.

I understand your words, difference between me and you is that you are like 11 years younger than me which gives you some sort of advantage,
I…on the other hand….find it very odd to feel that my life is over, maybe its the excessive emptyness, loneliness, idk. One thing I do know its lack of happiness.

Im still alive though, might as well keep breathing.
Maybe God will change my life in a blink of an eye.

Take care,
I hope you get better.

It’s fine Kim, crappy to hear about school, hope they can be a bit sympathetic and not complete bastards.

Hope things will get better, really do. Many *hugs*

I’m glad to read that 6days and 9 hours ago your arm was getting better and you were ok.

I’m going to go and feel guilty for not answering sooner now.

I am so sorry for that. Yea, your love is on your side. And I know it will bring you guys near. I hope everything gets better.

All The Best :)

Good to hear you fight the cut, whats the longest you have been without hurting yourself that way?

Im down Heart lol
Ahh it sucks, Ive been feeling intensely depressed these past couple of weeks and I dont know. Im Ok though, its just that I find myself more and more wanting to be like left alone, sad, hopeless at times, something like that.
I dont argue, scream nor fight w/ anyone I come across but I feel like I have less patience too (I dont know if you get it).

Hope you feeling better. Thanks for asking and for the shout.

How are you now?

yea, it is. Its making me sick now… We are still paying the taxes. This suxxxx!! I talked to my sis and she told that this can take 2-6 mor months. ewwww….. Lets see what happens… I’ll inform you if there are any news. Why your bg didnt get visa? Where was he going? I am sorry for that :(

How’s your arm healing?

Why is your arm cut, Heart?
What are the doctors saying?
What is going thru your mind Miss Nice?

Let me know.

Do all of your lovely pets have names & how on earth can you find the time to take care of what seems like an endless list of adorable/crazy/loving/arogant/huggable creatures?

And before I forget ofcourse the obvious, how are you doing at the moment question! I hope you’re OK.

Im pretty good, thanks for asking. Today (sunday) I decided to clean around the house and do some laundry, took me all day ’til now. I just ate, showered, changed my sheets and am ready to watch a movie in my living room. Deep down Im as usual as I have almost always been, y’know the classic sad, feeling lonely sometimes stuff, but Im OK.

How is school with you? Good grades comming?
Why does your arm hurt?

Always nice to hear from you Miss Heart.
Hope you feel a little better by the time you read this.
Take care.

Stopping talking about how you feel isn’t going to solve anything, it will just make things harder. Why have you stopped talking about how you feel?
And why will you get kicked out of school?
Really try hard not to cut. If you have the willpower, you will be able to beat it, at least for now.
Night, and come talk to me tomorrow! x

Things not going too well then? Feeling kind of the same minus the fever and eye.

Hey, how are you feeling today?

thankyou lv :)

thankyou x

omg pls change your avatar

You OK now?
Why were you so upset?

Whoa. Its probably nothing but its good you get that checked out.
I’ll see what I do in terms of me. Today I don’t feel real down. Im OK.

How are the classes going?
Hope you Ok by the time you read this.
Keep taking care of yourself!

Of course you can, don’t give up!

s’alright, I understand, as long as you don’t do anything :)

Don’t think like that. Things will get better. I know it sounds hollow and meaningless but it will, just hold on.

I know it may not be what you want, but maybe you should see a counsellor?

I know it may not be what you want, but maybe you should see a counsellor?

I know it doesn’t feel like it but the fact they have taken away everything sharp is a good thing. Do you know why you are getting more depressed?

Glad you don’t cut anymore, further than I’ve got. What’s wrong?

Nice to hear from you! Its been awhile huh?
I feel down all day too. I know I have some stuff I must deal with emotionally, I just haven’t taken the time to just make an appointment with a psyc.
I know its hard.
So it’s a long distance relationship what you have with him?
Weren’t you going to the doc Mrs. Heart?

BTW, how is school?

Take care, hope to hear from you.

Nah! Not yet!! Every single second is like a year :( Its sucking!!

Hey, I haven’t talked to you in ages! How are you?