o0mightyoak's profile at Help.com

User Involvement

Last 5 Replies – All 6 replies »

• I have no heart.
  

  sometimes we put up walls in hopes that someone will break them down.
  
  try your best.
  
  maybe try to form a connection with god; if this is not your cup of tea, scratch that idea. (but i’ll still pray for you, hope you don’t mind)
  
  i promise you are not un-loveable. i promise.
  
  i know things may seem difficult now, but even the people who push everyone away eventually find someone who understands their odd manerisms.
  
  if you don’t want to change yourself, don’t. if you feel there are some things your not very fond of about yourself, take slow steps to get to where you want to be. this may be a challenge, but no matter what just remember that no one is perfect, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
  
  give yourself credit, i’m sure there are some great qualities about yourself, even if you may have some that are more “difficult”. did you ever watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a kid? Or how about X-men? (i’m a big super hero fan; haha, i’m a nerd) Well, if you recall Raphael (the red turtle) or Wolverine (from X-men) were both very “difficult” characters as well. And while both of them gave others grief, there were still people who loved them.
  
  i am sure you are the same way. and if not, be patient. there will be someone, it just might take more time to fit your personality to someone. be who you want to be, because “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• i’m addicted to cutting, i can’t stop,
  

  i am a cutter. i use scissors. i came from an abusive family. i am 21.
  
  4 years later, and i am almost done with it.
  
  this is a constant battle and struggle, and not something easy to quit. it is the same as alcoholism, doing drugs, or any other poor coping mechanism. you just need to learn healthier coping mechanisms to replace cutting (this is not easy, trust me). also, if you are in an abusive home, or something that requires immediate attention, you need to take care of that first.
  
  here is a site that really helped me.
  http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
  
  that is a good place to start. just know you are not alone, and that this will take much work on your part to beat. but i promise (as a past cutter) it can be done; and no one will love you less for it.
  
  i have a boyfriend who has helped me battle this, and i have not cut in 3 months (i use to cut every day).
  
  utilize the site, talk to a trusted adult (i don’t know how old you are or if that is applicable) either at school or a family member, church member, whatever.
  
  good luck, and i know you can do it. stay strong, and know that you deserve the world.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• im like sooo tempted into losing it but..im 14.
  

  i would say you are too young, but i don’t all the opinions in the world would stop you from going through with sex if you wanted to.
  
  i tried to wait, and finally ended up having sex at 18. i regretted it, but maybe you won’t; i can only speak for myself. having sex with someone makes relationships much more complicated, and in my case, i stayed in an abusive relationship too long because of what i had given him.
  
  also, for new found religious reasons, i am trying to wait to have sex until marriage in my newest relationship.
  
  i am not sure if you are religious, but maybe try praying. also, try talking to a trusted adult or authority figure you trust. maybe a minister, teacher, or your parents. just someone you trust to give you good advice and be very understanding about your position.
  
  whatever you choose to do, be careful and safe. use protection. and make sure it’s what you want. have open communication with your partner about the topic, and make sure it’s what you really want before you go through with it.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• my gf was raped a while back, now she says she wants
  

  here is my best advice.
  
  i was not raped; but i was sexually abused. in my last relationship i had sex for the “first time” (first time meaning it was my choice), and it was more because i felt pressure from my boyfriend at the time. during sex i would freeze up a lot and get scared, and we’d have to stop. i have heard this happens to rape victims as well, sort of like a PTSD thing.
  
  now i am in a much better, healthier relationship, and my boyfriend and i are choosing to wait (for both the sexual abuse reasons and new developing religious reasons). but, when i do have sex with him i do not think i will freeze up as much, because we have gone about things very slowly so that i trust him and it is my choice.
  
  i cannot stress how much building trust is important.
  
  if she is not ready, she may have a flashback or something else of that nature. but, i would just talk together, and if you decide to have sex, just be prepared to be there for her if things do not go smoothly. let her make her choices and respect her opinions, just be there for her, build trust, and keep communication open.
  
  that’s my best advice.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• does anyone have a gf or bf who has a best friend of the opposite sex?
  

  i am not sure the solution to this problem, but i can relate. my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 6 months now, and almost all his friends are girls (which lucky for me, includes his ex girlfriend). i have had a very difficult time with this, and have been the complete opposite of “hey…iknowyou”s girlfriend. maybe this is a bad thing? i’m not sure. but you know, i can only be myself. i’d say what helped the most was just simply talking to my boyfriend about this issue. neither of you have to be perfect, it’s how you communicate about any sort of problem that matters. if she loves you, she will respect your feelings and you two will hopefully figure out some good middle ground. if not, (i hate this saying too, but it’s true) there are plenty of fish in the sea!
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

o0mightyoak's conversations are tagged:

sex, Love, guy, Opposite sex, heart, Every Day, IDEA, contact, cutting, 6, selfishness, Stop, young, don't care, Couple, boyfriend, bored, lot, speech, lonely, kill, wit, friends, friendship, 14