centralcoastsingles's reply history at Help.com

How are you reading it? Microsoft Outlook? Eudora? You may have to check your settings, but you can probably access it directly on the web instead of through the email program for now.

You say you cannot run windows but you are online. Does that mean you are on someone else’s computer right now? If you are having trouble getting the computer up, restart and press F8 until you get the option to run in Safe Mode. See if that lets you get into your windows to update and run anti virus programs. You can also go back to a restore point and maybe get to run your computer well enough to get rid of the virus and spyware and such.

You cannot say either way. As leader of a local singles group, I hear all sorts of stories both ways. Some say they wish they had not started that young, others say they wish they had. Just realize that there is a trade off. If someone stifles you and keeps you from being who you need to be, that is not a healthy relationship. You need someone who will grow with you and share with you. If he cannot do that, then perhaps your relationship will make you miss out. If he can swing with the pendulum, then maybe it will work out. There is no crystal ball. People let fear rule them either way. Fear that you won’t grow and will miss out, fear of being without him. You can only see where it goes in time. If you stick with him, and it hinders your progress in life, then it is not healthy. If he encourages you and helps you move forward, then it is good.

Most women who regret starting early say they wish they had taken time to discover themselves and build their life first. They wish they had finished school and grown before picking a man. There is still no guarantee of a healthy relationship later. Just don’t hold yourself back from life and prosperity because you felt tied to someone. A gf of mine was very well off, with lots of school and success in her career. This all happened AFTER losing her high school sweetheart. She continued with school while married, but was not able to pursue her career until she divorced him for cheating.

What I am saying is that you are letting fear control you either way. Make a choice that will be right for you and stick with it. Don’t let fear stand in the way of your future, whatever that might be. Make the choice and feel good about it.

I have both, laptops and desktops for both. Many computers lol

Have you tried to reboot? If that doesn’t work, reboot in safe mode, and see if you can access things that way. If so, then you have a problem loading up. When you turn off your computer, restart it holding down the F8 key and tell it to restart in safe mode. It will look strange, but try to access web pages and see what happens. You can find all sorts of info at http://www.bleepingcomputer.com also. Try rebooting regular first, then safe mode, then post what happens.

Okay, if you want it to be done and over with, check this in a translator site to be sure it is what you want, then write this in a note to him:

“I know you want to try a separation, but I am not comfortable with that. I would prefer that if you are going to leave, and not try to work things out, that we finish our relationship. If you decide to go, our life together is done. I will date other people, and so will you. I appreciate the life we have had together, and will always cherish the good times. It is time to say goodbye, and move on with our own lives.”

If you want to try to get him to work things out, then try this one:

“We have had some tough times, but I do not think either of us wants to just end things. I would like to have a good relationships, without fights or problems. If you think there is a chance, as I do, then we should see a counselor and work out our differences. We cannot do this living apart, so you have to choose to stay here and make it work. If this is what you want, then we will make it happen. Otherwise, it must be goodbye, and no dates or seeing each other after this.”

I hope one of those works for you. Take care and good luck

I don’t see things as mistakes. We make choices, and there are some that we want to redo, but we make our choices for a reason. It may have been part of a growth process, which makes it a good thing. If you have grown and learned from it, it is what you needed to do. Learning and following your heart are not bad. Just don’t waste it now that you have gone through this. Make it worthwhile and find a way to forge your life from this point. You are a new man, and ready to strike out there and do something good for yourself. Get out there and meet people, go places, visit galleries or arcades, or whatever floats your boat. Find your interest, and pursue it. If you take classes in something you want to learn, you will meet people with similar interests. Check newspaper listings for new bands, shows, events, and go there. Meet people, say hello. Be the new man you have become, and look forward.

lol My former father in law was a pest control operator. Talk about horror stories… A friend of mine was telling me about a time he and his boss went into a building to recover the phone system they had bought from an abandoned restaurant. It was the switching system and phones. They put all the parts into a big garbage bag and doused it with Boric Acid, sealed it, and let it sit for a week. When they opened it up, it was full of dead cockroaches. You never know where they are going to be. They are meant to survive. Didn’t they say a cockroach could travel through space?

Don’t take it all yourself. It takes two to make a relationship work. Just let things go, and get him out as quick as you can and get it over with. If he is not willing to make it work, then it is done. Good luck, and if you ever get to California, look me up :-)

Don’t bother trying to visit the old life. Make a new one. You are where you are now, and trying to get back to where you were means nothing. We all move forward for relationships, that is the way it is supposed to be. Now you can make new friends and a new life. Get your place, your job, and your head together, and look forward. Reinvent your life to be something that reflects who you are now, not who you were then. You have changed.

Can’t you tell? It is with the computer image. Don’t you have an answer for him? What kind of helper are you? LOL

He has checked out of the marriage. He wants to see if he can deal with being alone. Let him go and file for divorce. Don’t date him. Tell him that either you have to go to counseling together, or divorce. He is not into the marriage, so let him live on his own without you. Then you can find yourself a good man that will work with you, or you can come here and date me lol. Just tell him there will be no middle ground. Let him move out, then divorce. Don’t do it until he is out, and don’t warn or threaten him about it. You have to move on with yourself. I wish you luck.

They are probably in the back of your TV, too. They love oven insulation and underneath your fridge.

You won’t get rid of them. If you are noticing them now, and it is in a building shared with other people, you won’t get rid of them. Yes, they fly. If you’ve been to Hawaii for long period of time you will get buzzed by them. They eat wallpaper glue, and live under the wallpaper. Anywhere you see a bulge may be a place they have been housed and eating. You need to seal with caulk around EVERYTHING along your walls. Pipes, seams, slight cracks, everything. If you see one, you have a hundred. If you see a bunch, you have a thousand. You never see all of them. Try roach powder you can buy at a dollar store. Boric acid. You can also try Diatomacious earth around edges if you want a holistic method. It acts like little shards of glass when they try to walk over it. That can be good around your bed. Any sprays you try will only get the ones you see, and attract more. They usually have an attractant in them and more roaches will come and you will have to spray more. Then you will smell that stuff. Your best bet is a bug bomb you can buy in 3 packs at Walmart. Set one off and leave for the day. Change your bedding, wash counters, wipe off cans, throw out open food containers. It gets into everything. Don’t leave any crumbs or food anywhere, no open boxes, no closed boxes. Put your cereal boxes in the fridge. Anything not air tight sealed should be in a container or the fridge. You won’t get rid of them. They will outlive you and me. You can cut off a head of a roach, and it will not die until it starves. Of course, don’t try it, that is cruel. Just live clean and buy Tupperware containers you keep sealed all the time. They may even have eggs in your food. I’m not trying to scare you, I’m just telling you that you need to throw out anything open, and seal everything else up. It is a tough battle, and I don’t envy you at all. I would rather have mice. At least then I know there are only 5 or 6 instead of thousands. Sorry to be the bearer of such good thoughts lol. I’m just being real with you.

Healthy low fat snacks all day instead of big meals. If you eat all the time, your body thinks there is food around and won’t store as much fat/energy. If you wait a long time between meals and eat a lot, it will store everything it can until your next meal. By fooling your body into thinking there is food all the time, it will free up some of the stored fat as needed. That is when you exercise and move as much as you can. It can be tough on the joints, but if you can walk around the house a few times, then around the block, then around the neighborhood, you will increase your stamina, use up some of that released fat, and start to lose weight. You don’t need to worry about charts. If you want charts, sign up for Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. You shouldn’t start a regimen without checking in with a doctor or couselor anyway. I suggest just adjusting your eating habits, walking then exercising, and buying a video eventually when you can move easier. Don’t push yourself or you can get injured. Don’t diet, or you will be caught in a cycle and get worse. Find healthy foods, fruits and veggies, but not too much for sugar content. You are probably at risk for diabetes also. Rice cakes or things like that can be good to snack, and they have some great flavors. Just stop at one. If you are still hungry, wait a few minutes and see how you do. It takes a while for something you eat to have an effect. If you eat slowly you will become satisfied. If you eat fast, you will keep eating past the point of satisfaction before you realize you have eaten enough. Take a bite, count, bite, count. Go slow. I hope some of those help. Otherwise, the only link I can give you is http://www.google.com