centralcoastsingles's reply history at Help.com

Get away from the drama. You don’t need any of them, and they are playing musical hoochies. Get away from all of that and find someone that is ready to date you. They are still into games. You don’t tell us how old you are. If you are under 17, I take it back and say to just date him and don’t care about it. It likely won’t last more than a couple months anyway with this game going on. Otherwise, move on and move up. Get a real man.

If you look at construction in Dubai and other areas in the Middle-East, engineering might be a great way to go, but you have to have a knack for it. Have you ever tried to intern for a company that does it? If you don’t have the grades, you won’t get either. That would pretty much leave you with computers. You have to apply yourself, and it doesn’t sound like you are ready to do that yet.

You should speak with local mental health professionals and pitch it to them for support. You can find national organizations that might help you find funding to get going. Look for grant writers that will not charge you to search for grants. It is customary to take a percentage as grant writer when it is awarded, but not to charge up front. You may need to form a non-profit to get it off the ground. That gives you and sponsors some tax breaks. Go to local businesses, and bigger companies, and pitch the idea as sponsors. You might also look at creating a benefit to give computers to underprivledged kids in your city. Lots of businesses would be willing to get behind that, and you might get support from the local PTA and school system. They may help you do fundraising or spread the word to parents about the program. There are a lot of ways to go, just get out there, or get someone else out there. Go with the idea that when you ask a question or ask for help, the answer will be NO. Then when you get a yes, you will be surprised. If you expect a NO, then your stress level goes way down. Just pitch it good, promise everything you can deliver and don’t promise anything you cannot deliver. You should have a good formula with that.

This looks and feels like codependence on his part. You should find some hobbies or groups for him to get interested in. Find a Tai Chi or musicians group he can be a part of locally. There has got to be something around your area where he can go chill with people he has something in common with. Go to the local music store, and see what is on the bulletin board there. Ask them at the counter if there are any meetings or groups of people that just want to jam. Find some coffee shop that has open mic, and get him to go there. He might meet other musicians he can hang with. Find a dojo that may want another sensei to help teach if he is any good. They may want him to help with demonstrations and things. That would help him use the skills he already has, and be appreciated. Having a hermit mother has been lonely for him. You have to realize that if you cannot handle the way he is now, it will probably stay the same or maybe get worse. People don’t improve unless they want to. You need to find some support for him. See if there is a codependence support group or a support group for children of parents with social anxiety disorder. They can help both of you deal with this.

You should be so happy that he has something for you. It isn’t often that guys do that for 2 months. It must have been one heck of a dinner for 1 month if he is doing something for 2 months. It will wear out over time, so enjoy it while you can, whether you decide to get him something or not. I think the best thing you can do is to tell him how much the gift means to you, and how thoughtful he is. Just dote on him for doing such a sweet thing for you, and make him feel like he is the best guy in the world for doing it. The only thing I might suggest is if he is a sports fan, movie fan, or something else, go buy a gift certificate or tickets to something you would want to go to with him, and give them to him. That way, you both win, and you show him that you appreciate the things he likes too. Maybe get tickets to a concert or ball game, race track, or a specific movie. You can buy those online, too. Just put them in an envelope, and after he gives you his gift and you make such a big deal about it, tell him you have something for the two of you, to share together and give him the envelope. It will probably be something you would go to anyway, but now it makes it even more special. It’s a win-win.

I agree that it should be parsed better, but I think that just reflects part of the problem here. I don’t know anything about you, but your grammar and spelling speak volumes. Don’t take this wrong, because I mean this in a helpful way. I would guess that maybe this girl is playing you. She may be thriving on your attention and caring for her. She may just see it as a chance to get someone to help her with rent, or to use you. Do you send her money and gifts? Do you call her and tell her how sweet and pretty she is? She may be eating it up and making herself feel good, then going out with this other guy she really likes better. If she is dating someone else, move on. You don’t need that. Then once you get past that, take some time off for yourself. Spend some time on self improvement, self esteem, and education. You should make sure you are as much of a man and as educated as you can be. That is one thing a woman wants in a man. I say this woman is playing games, and having what she wants. I think you should just shine it on and move forward with yourself. Take a year or two to make yourself a better person, and someone she will regret missing.

You may try the generic address of 192.168.1.1 in the browser and see if that opens your config program. For possible passwords, go to the Linksys site, select which router you have, and it will give you more info. As a last resort, turn everything off including the router and modem, and restart them after a minute or so. Start the modem and let the lights come on. Then start the router, then the computer. One last thing to try, is to see if connecting the laptop via wire and see if that works. If so, it may be an issue with the MAC listings, rather than router security. Hopefully it is the router security tho. Good luck

I figured she would appreciate that you were concerned enough to care, and glad that you owned up to it. Sometimes we get down on ourselves, and more critical than others are. We feel like idiots or fools, when other people just don’t even notice, or it is no big deal to them. I’m glad it all worked out, and things are good. Take care

Are all your computers using the same version of windows? I would assume the new one has Vista on it, and may not be compatible with the other two computers. If the other ones have Windows 98, NT, or other older version, that may be your problem. The best thing to do is Google how to set up a network between Vista and the other Windows versions. The Microsoft site may have this info for you. There is actually a proxy program that will bridge many of these types of problems.

There is nothing wrong with sending a postcard every day, especially if it is a different destination each day. You normally do that with friends. It’s just that at one month, you don’t want to scare the guy and think you are a stalker lol. I live the idea of the picture in the sand, maybe for when you return with other pictures from your vacation. It really depends how deep he is into your relationship. If he is not as into it as you, it may scare him. If it was a year, I would be sure to ship him a present while you are gone with a note not to open until anniversary. Since it is not even the 1 month anniversary yet, you are talking about a 2 or 3 week relationship. To a guy, that’s usually just dating. You don’t know for sure until the 3rd month.

To a guy, relationships come with a return policy like shopping at Walmart. You get 30 days to be sure it fits your living room, and another 60 days to be sure it isn’t broken. After that, it’s serious lol.

Call the post office and see if they recognize the number. Usually the post office has a form for you to complete and they will hold the letters and give them back to you. Maybe that is what she was suggesting, but it is too late now, they are gone. Good luck on Monday. Be sure to process them really fast and get them out of the office asap, maybe on your lunch.

One month isn’t usually much to a guy. You need to see if he even notices it before you decide how big to go with this. If it is nothing to him, you may scare him only one month into it. I say play it smaller for now, send an ecard as suggested, and maybe an extra email with your picture attached (nothing that you don’t want shared with his friends). That night, call and chat with him like you normally would. That should do it. Other than that, it is up to him to reciprocate. Make the ecard nice, and about how you feel about him. In the email tell him how you wish you didn’t have to be far away, and you look forward to seeing him when you come back. On the phone, deal with how your day went, ask how his went, and tell him you look forward to seeing him as soon as you get back. Tell him you plan a “belated” anniversary dinner or something. Then when you get back go out for dinner, and talk about how you missed him but don’t go overboard.

Guys don’t buy the “Let’s just be friends” line. Just tell them you don’t like them in a romantic way, and if they want to do things as friends, you can do that in time. Don’t do it right away because guys “bargain”. If you tell them just friends, they will continue to work on you. Give them some space, so this new guy doesn’t think you are dating. Find out what this new guy likes to do, and put yourself in a place where you know he will show up. It is better to be there first, so he has to run into you. Then just say hi, maybe flirt a bit asking about his shirt or hair, then let him do the rest. If you smile and he moves on, he’s not interested. Don’t force it, he may just use you at that point. Always be ready to move on when something doesn’t work out. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It just means that it isn’t going to happen right then. You can try it another time or two, but be ready to give it up and find some other guy.

There is not much you can do. Do you have access to the office when the mail is delivered on Saturday? If so, that would be your best way to do it. As far as seeing the mail, don’t hesitate, or they will just say no. Be confident, and just tell them you would like to check if everything is okay with the envelopes you sent out. Then just say, “Could I see if you got it okay?”.

If you don’t catch the mail, you have no choice but to deal with it when you get to work again. There will probably be phone messages asking why they did not receive a check, if they are expecting them. Are these checks to pay on accounts, or people waiting for a dividend or payroll?

If your boss finds out, all you can do is confess to it. Even if you messed up before, you have no choice. Maybe you are not cut out for that type of work, or maybe you are just too stressed right now. Not knowing your age, or the type of work, I can only speculate. Even if you messed up, your boss may at least appreciate that you stepped up to the plate and took charge and responsibility. Remember to ALWAYS come with a solution ANY time you have a problem.

“Yes, I sent those out without postage, and I am ready to take care of that. The postage meter is set up, I am going to run them through for postage, and remail them” is better than “Oh, I messed up, I’ll have to redo everything” because you are showing that you know how to resolve it. This will show your boss that you are “with it” enough to know what happened and resolve it.

Don’t try to get out of it by blaming the dog you ran over on the way to work, or stress you have had. Just step up and take care of it. That’s all you can do if you cannot intercept the return.