BFree's reply history at Help.com

Read your own post, are you who you want to be… or are you just fooling yourself? Who you are is defined by the choices you make. Anger is an easier emotion to act on, but a harder one to live with the consequences of. Forgive. Don’t forget, just forgive. While you’re at it, forgive yourself too.

You will always find what you are looking for, or expect to find. Look for the joy in life and that is what you will find.

Okay let me get this straight, you live in Hong Kong. You are experiencing a new place and culture. You have a boyfriend that adores you and is helping you out. I say embrace the experience. Find the Joy. You are not defined by a job. And I read your other post. You have only been there two months three at most. Sweetie, look at the economy, it’s not so pretty and that has nothing to do with you. Keep looking. Look with a very positive attitude. Something will come up eventually. There were probably hundreds of people looking at that job.

And, if you end up having to stay at home, you have had a great adventure. Something most of the world does not have. I was reading an article today and it stated to be truly happy we have to live in the moment. That means enjoy the moment. Are you starving? Are you living on the street? Are you doing what you can to get started? Then enjoy. Promise yourself when you land a job, you will first pay your debts, live within your means, and start paying your family and wonderful boyfriend back.

Cheer up, hon. You have a gift, enjoy it.

What or who is up north for you? Take a deep breath. Believe in yourself, you can get through this? What is up north?

You need to love him… But you need to love yourself too. Your son is your grandson’s father. He feels a need to protect him. Who is protecting you? Can you protect you? If you can’t protect yourself, how could you protect your grandson from your husband? Find that inner strength, step up… find a way to increase your self esteem.

You are in a difficult spot. You need to find help. Your husband is not okay. You need to find a way to help yourself. Talking to him will not help at this point. Seek help through counseling or a woman’s advocacy group.

YOu and your boyfriend need to learn how to take care of yourselves and not everyone else!!! Good luck.

You were on here before weren’t you? If I remember correctly your husband behaved poorly to your son. He threw a crib out the door. Then tried to control you too. Your pain must be very deep. But All I can say is you have to stop mourning for something that will not happen. A normal family is not in the cards as long as he behaves this way.

I hope you are able to see your son and grandchild. You have to find other ways to find peace.

desert rose, in order to find love you have to allow your self to give it. The fear can hold you where you are right now. Take it slow. Don’t let yourself in too deep until you are ready for that risk. Really get to know him.

You have to let yourslef trust him in areas that are safe first. Then build on that trust.

Just curious, why would they call the police? What would they same to them? Especially if they are the ones on drugs.

What kind of lawyer would you make if you were unable to separate the emotional from the logical? Your job now is to take care of you, not them.
There is no judge that will listen to an emotional argument over a legal one.

This family has you in their web. You say they have no one, but they have eachother. What about you, who do you have? Who can you rely on?

tell a parent. Call you carrier and have the number banned. You can report it.

Then they would know that you were not the one who was on the shout box. Breathe. You can not think logically in this state. Breathe.

Are the people threatening you really upset at you or what they think you did?

What did this other person do or say that got them so upset?

Tessa, you need to be careful. For a while, don’t go places alone. Put a warning message out to all your friends. But do not let you imagination take a hold of your fear either.

Let your friends know that you are completely disappointed in them.

After the fear passes, you have to take a good look at your habits to figure out why this has happened more than once. Perhaps, there is away you can change from being a victim. Like Mums said, you have to take control.

I agree. So have we sloved the issue of the world’s children yet? I missed the paediophila commets.

On topic is: We have posted all of this, now what? We have agreed that kids are central to our future. So, now what? What ACTION is there to do or take? Are we going to be motivated to do something, or are we reduced to philosophy and inaction. :) Just a little push to get someone to say they are taking more action.

[quote Xeno Dragon]Bfree, respect is not something I feel should be freely given. It needs to be earned. And anyone I “disrespect” simply doesn’t deserve it.[/quote]

Mas 1, i have to disagree with you. This post is about our kids and the generations in the future not being able to handle the future. I think this strain is evidence of our ability or inability to communicate with each other and how it is necessary to have a solid foundation to move forward.

Xeno: If you will, please define respect and deserve. As you see it. I really want to know. I view certain levels of respect to be given. Now, honor is different. But respect and freedom are things we can freely give. Until of course a person has deemed themselves unworthy. I want to have a truly open, unsarcastic discussion here. Do you really think your message will be heard? What audience are trying to move? Is it just the select few who have historically angered you?

[quote Urine Sane][quote BFree]I cherish honesty and bluntness. Rudeness even has its place. You do have some good ideas, and thoughts, just a controversial way of expressing them. You don’t do yourself justice. I don’t know you just read some of your stuff. But, We do need to listen to each other. But perhaps, as Aretha Franklin would say R E S P E C T!The whole problem is the lack of showing, giving, and having respect. Urine Sane, it’s not only the mum’s obligation to raise the kids. She is not the only moral compass. It takes two to fertilize that egg.[/quote]huh? i didnt say its only the mums job…o_O[/quote]

Lol, Sorry misread the post to Mums…he he.