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• My ex-husband moved in with his sister and her husband in February 2006. posted (1 year, 5 months) ago
  My brother-in-law did not want him to move in but didn’t want to upset my sister-in-law so he …

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• any advice?
  

  I think that he’s too young to make a bigger commitment now. Most girls are ready to make a commitment earlier than most guys. I used to date a guy like that. He was only around when he wanted to be. And when he was around, it was just to party and have fun. I was 3 years older than him and ready for a bigger commitment (he was 19 and I was 22). So, I know that you are younger since you are in high school still but my point is that if he was into you as much as you are into him, he’d be there more. But also, you have to realize that you need to have a life outside of him. You may be smothering him if you are just sitting by the phone waiting for him to call or calling him constantly. The more interesting you are in your own life, the more interesting you will be to him. Since he’s moving away, it’s probably best to let go. You are young and you will find someone else. Also, I noticed where you said “I love spending time with him but he really doesn’t treat me that well”. Why would you love spending time with someone that doesn’t treat you that well? I speak from experience. I’ve been in two abusive relationships. If he doesn’t treat you well now, it will not get better. If he has physically or verbally abused you, definitely get out now. I spent 9 years with my first abuser and 6 1/2 with my second abuser. I will never let someone treat me or my children that way again. I thought both of them loved me too. They were both alcoholics and had way too many problems, I should have walked the other way immediately. Anyway, hope that you are able to take everyone’s advice to heart and sort out what you are going to do. Good luck!
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• I just want to go to sleep!
  

  My six-year old daughter has had eczema since she was born. She uses a prescription medication called Elidel. It’s a cream that I rub all over her. I also use a lot of Aveeno products. I see that you don’t live in the USA so I am not sure if they have Aveeno where you are at but it really works wonders. There are Aveeno creams, lotions, oatmeal baths, soaps, etc. You should see a dermatologist and see if you can get a prescription like Elidel or something similar for Eczema. Also, if you are allergic to cats, whoever you live with should understand and find another place for the cats to live. Also, I use the laundry detergent called “Dreft”, it doesn’t have any dyes or fragrances. I don’t know if they have that where you live either but you should be able to find a laundry detergent without dyes or fragrances. I’ve had dry skin all my life and then with my daughter having Eczema, we have learned to deal with finding products without any additional dyes or perfumes. Please see a dermatologist first though to get some professional advice. My daughter hates having Eczema and all the itching all the time and dry, red, patching skin but I try my best to give her as much relief as possible. Good luck!
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• So I went out drinking, again.
  

  I agree, you should start going to AA. That is your best shot at help with a drinking problem. Your mate can go to Al-Anon. I was married to an alcoholic and I went to Al-Anon. I found it very helpful. Good luck! Don’t let alcohol ruin your life.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• I have lost all passion for doing anything these days.
  

  Regulus9,
  Everyone has something to offer, even you. I disagree with the other posters that you should just forget about yourself and serve others. Of course it is great to help others but in order to help others, you need to first help yourself. In order to care about others, you need to first care about yourself. Your girlfriend had a hard time caring about you because you didn’t care about yourself. But you must have at one time because she did like you at one time, she did want to be with you at one time, didn’t she? Did something happen in your life to make you lose your self-esteem or your interest in the things that you once loved? What are you going to be taking in college (what major)? You could join a study group or participate in other extracurricular activities to get you involved in the good side of college life. Do you enjoy playing the guitar? Maybe you could either take lessons to improve or if you do improve a lot, maybe you could offer lessons to someone else. When you notice a girl glancing at you, just smile and say “hi”, that may just start a conversation. It is 2008, a lot of girls aren’t afraid to start a conversation but if you look down or away, they may think that you aren’t interested. Take care of yourself with good hygiene and exercise (that is one good idea from above). If a girl notices that you took care to look good, that will impress her. Please don’t ever think that you don’t have anything to offer. There is someone for everyone and you will find the right person one day. Never say never. Hang in there and good luck!!
  
  Take care,
  Sherri
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

• My ex-husband moved in with his sister and her husband in February 2006.
  

  I agree with you completely, SoulRising. I thought that my ex hit rock bottom many times but it doesn’t seem to matter to him how much people try to help him, he can’t break the alcohol addiction. And contrary to what the first poster “assumes” of me, I love my ex very much and always will. We were married for 6 1/2 years but have known each other for almost 20 years. We dated for 6 months when we were younger but he’s 3 years younger than me and he still wanted to party while I wanted to settle down and start a family. We were apart for 6 years and when we reconnected again, I knew that I still loved him. We got back together and had a beautiful daughter who is 6 now. But the alcohol just ruined everything. We’ve been divorced now for about 2 1/2 years. I still love him. He still loves me. But he needs to get help. It doesn’t matter how much I love him or his sister loves him, the children are the number one priority. I left him for my children’s (I have two from my first marriage & one with him) and my safety. The night that I left, he had come home drunk and trashed the apartment, breaking mirrors, closet doors, punching a hole in the wall, and getting right up in my face. I’d had enough. It’s bad enough that I, as an adult, would put up with that but I thought about my children. They didn’t deserve that. They had no way to leave or get away from the violence. I know that he has a problem but I’ve tried to help him. He has to help himself now. My nieces have no control over the situation either and since that is where he is living now, I, as well as my BIL, are concerned about their safety as well. My SIL gets upset with him too but he’s her brother and she won’t ask him to move. That’s why the first poster upset me so much because he/she had no idea what I or my family have been through in our lives and one post isn’t going to explain it all. I care about my ex and I don’t want him on the street. But he is an adult, the children need us to stand up for them. He needs to grow up and be an adult and get the help that he needs. Sorry for rambling on, it just feels good to get some of this off my chest. Thanks for your posts and thanks for listening. I will tell my BIL what I’ve read here. Thanks again.
  - written 1 year, 5 months ago

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