Tzubake's shout trail with ____________________ - Help.com

Yeah exactly… Once I realized that I was basically loving a memory and not the person she is now, it was much easier to move on.

Like I said before, as long as you have a handle on the situation, then it’s all good.

Yep, things always work out in the end, especially if you work towards the good. :)

Yeah, the thing that helped me realize that I moved on is.. I don’t love her anymore. This person she is.. I could never love. I love the person who I used to know and who she used to be. THAT is the person I love, now.. she’s just some other bitchy girl in the world. Yeah I know lately it seems she’s just been trying to take everything out on me, but I just want to show her that it won’t work and try to help he realize she shouldn’t be angry at me. Lately it seems like it worked because she started messaging her friends they’ve told me and she just seems lonely, but she created this so.. yeah.

I’m glad to hear things are doing well for you as well :) good to know things are starting to get better.. hopefully haha.

I hear you man, and that’s good that you’ve moved on. It’s such a liberating feeling isn’t it? When you realize they no longer have that measure of control over your life.

What I meant though, is that I wouldn’t even give her any satisfaction of communicating with me to go off on me. Exes sometimes need that… To transfer her negative energy, ya know? But you said you don’t let it get to you so I can see you have control over the situation…

Keep on staying strong man. You’ve got it :)

Ah well, it’s not like I’m “sticking around” to anything. She sends me messages and whatnot on facebook and I just reply as nonchalantly as possible. I’m not letting her get to me anymore.. because.. well I’ve moved on and she just hasn’t. I just pity how lonely she’s made her life.

Thanks for the support :) that’s pretty much exactly how I’m taking the situation right now.

Thanks :).

What I don’t get is, why stick around if she’s always laying into you? You don’t need her and you sticking around is for her benefit, not hers. You’re a better person than me because I’d have had no sympathy for her after what she did.

Yeah hopefully things will work out for you, but it’s better not to have expectations… You won’t be disappointed then.

Nice to hear from you too :).

Wow! Good for you! I’m glad everything seems to be going well for you :)

As for me, things are going all right. Brittany sorta has been flipping out on me lately, but I’ve just be sort of.. dealing with it maturely and trying to calm her down and stop being so angry at nothing. I’ve also been in another relationship recently and.. it was wonderful. It really was. She was a great woman and a terrific girlfriend. Sadly I don’t think she was quite ready for a relationship because she broke up with me New Years day because she needs to sort some things out. She never did anything to me and she asked if we could still be friends and I’m hoping we can be still. Also I hope that maybe.. someday we might be able to work things out, it would be nice, but I’m not expecting anything.

:) Glad to hear from you.

Hey Tzu, I’ve been really good. Gave my ex the final boot out of my life and have moved on… It’s been almost a month, and I’m glad I did :).

How’ve you been?

Hey how’ve you been? :) I hope you had a good holiday!

I’m doing really well actually. I’m about to make a post explaining my absence so yeah :) if you’re curious go ahead and read it. I hope everything is going all right with you finally.

Hey Tzu, what’s up man? How you feeling?

*facepalm* I did it again lol…

Seriously, thank you =)

I’m glad I could have helped :)

I think in order to ease into this situation is just.. keep talking with her. Feel out how she is feeling about everything in the first place. You need to make completely sure what her intentions are before you begin to let yourself be vulnerable with her. The whole “taking action” bit would just be asking her outright how she feels about things and being straightforward, which might be what I might wind up doing, I’m not sure yet.

It’s completely possible that she’s saying she loves you, but just as a friend. She could just enjoy the fact that you’re there for her now no matter what, it really is possible, but again it all comes down to asking her what she wants and what she feels about this situation. I really hope she’d be more compassionate than to keep you as a “back up” because that’s pretty trashy.

Ok, so how would you ease in as opposed to jumping in?

Do you think it’s possible that she could just want to be assured that I’m there for her in case everything doesn’t work out? [she’s been I guess getting into other people] Like a backup gf?

Haha Yeah I do that a lot of the time too.

The thing with my situation is.. I mean what she did to me was pretty unforgivable but if she shows me in some way she’s willing to put the past behind us and start anew then for the sake of it, I’d be willing to do that too because I know how much we meant to each other and I have a big book of proof sitting on my bed right now.

Now for your situation, I can see where your feelings are twisted. The thing was you guys broke up because she was trying to get her head straightened out in the first place right? Well, maybe she’s finally reached that point. I know it seems tempting and the grass seems green on the other side, but you need to ease back into this slowly if you’re going to start something. At the same time, you can’t just sit back and wait for anything to happen. It takes just the right combination of motivation and waiting for something like this to happen I believe and it’s all about not letting that oppritunity that you know is right there infront of you never to slip away. That’s what I’m waiting for, I believe this whole thing is giving Brittany and myself a new oppritunity to have an even deeper relationship than we had previously, but it’s going to take time for us to be able to get to that point, which I think is similar to your situation.

LMAO! Shouted myself for the second time tonight… -_-. I had written:

I hear you man. That’s cool. I hope, in the end, whatever happens, that you’re happy =). That’s most important, you know?

The reason I asked is because I feel a similar thing with my ex. I look to you for advice because you handle yourself much better than I do lol. But lately my ex and I have been talking a lot more, much like you and your ex. Sometimes I get the sense that she might be getting feelings for me again. For example, like a few minutes ago, she woke from her sleep just to text me that she loves me. It was adorable -_-. I know that either my feelings are coming back or I’m falling for her again, but I don’t want to get my hopes up to be let down, you know? She tells me she loves/misses me everyday and I was wondering what do you make of that? Have I got a shot or am I just reading too mcuh into it?

No no you’re not prying at all.

To be honest, I was thinking the other day “my God.. I think I’m falling for her again” just by talking to her over the phone for an hour and talking on the internet for a good amount of time and just laughing and crying together with her. I don’t know what it is to be honest.. if it’s just my old feelings coming back.. or if it’s just I’m falling for her all over again.. I really don’t know. That’s why I’m just going to keep talking to her to see where things go..
I really don’t know if she’s developing feelings for me again or if she even has them right now, but she always thanks me just for talking to her and everything and it makes me feel good that she even says that because it shows that she misses talking to me and everything. We’re so open with each other still and she just completely opened up to me the other day about her school, family and just other issues that she would have never done before while this was going on.
In any case.. I really really don’t know if I’m developing feelings again. Hah maybe it was the song I was listening to “Fall for you” by secondhand serenade.. it’s about someone falling in love with someone else all over again and yeah.. blah haha

Hey man, it’s cool. I asked. I’m glad to hear that she’s doing well and that you are too.

I know what you mean about it bugging you that you guys didn’t get to talk. I still feel that way from time to time. I have a question for you too. You can answer if you want or not. I just wanted to know if you’ve started getting feelings again for her now that you guys are talking again? And do you think she’s getting feelings for you again? Like I said, you don’t have to answer. Sorry if it seems like I’m prying.

Hey Nisa, things are going all right. I talked to her the other night on the internet and we were pretty comfortable just talking. We talked about random every day things and what not.. made her laugh she made me laugh. We talked about our dogs and whatnot and yeah.. She seems to be doing all right.
I’m doing okay. I don’t know what happened last night I guess I just got a bit overwhelmed because I have a lot of stuff to do on my plate, most of which I got done today. Last night I guess I was sort of looking forward to talking to her again cause she said she wanted to talk to me then but we never got a chance to. It bugged me but at the same time I didn’t know why I cared, I guess it’s just because I had nothing to do. In any case sorry for ranting haha, I hope things are going all right for yourself.

Hey Tzu, how’s things going with Brittany? Hope you’re all right =).