IrAdler's reply history at Help.com

Mitzy my heart goes out for you!

If a Canadian marries a foreigner or like you label people in the States: illegal alien, and is serious about the marriage, will go to an immigration lawyer or a legal aid to process his/her wife/husband’s papers or he/she cannot get free medical help and cannot apply for residency. I wonder if your daughter-in-law had ever done any of these. If your son was illegal in the country or in the best case a tourist, why would she think he could or would find any job? Without official documents that would be hard. Unless he likes to dishwash in a restaurant. You don’t need a legal paper or a sponsor to do that in Canada. I find her disturbed and immoral and the whole case of your son marrying her never appealed to me since the beginning. I found their relationship as you described it Ellen, quite disturbing.

To clear up all this mess as you said, the best thing would be to withdraw from both to first figure out yourself, then to figure out whether you want your husband wholly or forget it. You are playing with fire, between two relationships, separated from a husband so you have no responsibilities, dating another guy. Basically you are dating both. You are caught in the middle. Do you know what you want from life? Your husband could not excite you while married so now it’s exciting to just meet and have s X and then go to your directions. No strings attached. Same boring scenario if you’d stayed married. To me this relationship is over. You are chasing a mirage with the second one. If you can’t figure out what to do with your first one: your husband, how do you know the second one is just right for you? Take a break from both, no contacts, no calls, no texts, no nothing. You will find out who are you going to miss the most, but most of all, who is going to stay with you waiting for you at the end of the day.

Dr. Ozy is right but very naive too. If in a relationship one is secretive about something, there is no trust of the other isn’t it? I agree, don’t jump to conclusions but ignore it. Eventually you will find out the truth behind it in time. Then you will know the answer to your question.

Tell her you will give her all the freedom she wants when she wants to text to this guy as you noticed she is being secretive about it. So because you respect her so much tell her to tell you when will she texts this guy, so you would leave her alone to give her privacy! This will give her a clue of being unfair with you.

The reason for you being so worried is because of his attitude towards you. What exactly do you mean by that? How does he act towards you that you are so insecure?

If you have to constantly guess what his motives are, better leave him. Or you could just ask him directly why he wants to get back with you all of a sudden. You already moved on.

1. kindness
2. no lies
3. nature and cats
4. good jokes
5. great movies

[quote emerge]and I hope you get home as soon as you can to Ms Adler :) As deserted as you might feel in that desert, your family undoubtedly misses you,[/quote]

Thank you emerge for remembering me and put your thoughts so wonderfully. Yes sweetheart, this is your wife speaking now: I can’t wait for the moment for you to be home again, and I miss you too terribly! Just remember the magical time we had together when you were here, the promises you made, and take a look at thos Smilebox messages I sent you, especially the last one! Happy Valentine’s Day to you from your Valentine’s wife! I LOVE YOU!

[quote Dr. Jackson]Hope it was enough, it was all I could think of in my sleep deprived state.[/quote]

Thanks it helped.

N[quote emerge]It’s all over now and there’s nothing to fear. You’ll be alright, but how about you drink some delicious tea and read something pleasant for a while? Or do you have some access to audiobooks? There are some on youtube. Sometimes I just listen to hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy or some random other book before sleep. It can be really nice :)[/quote]

Thanks emerge. I had tea already. I will try some music. Thanks for the advice. I guess I just wanted to talk or read some positive thoughts.

[quote Dr. Jackson]http://www.markoworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/kittens_puppies.jpg[/quote]

That picture is so cute. Thank you for sending it.

You are allowed to date legally even if you are married in papers but do not live together, or in court terms, separated at least 3 months ago and going through a divorce process. It doesn’t count cheating.

“But,” said God, “I sent you the people who would find a cure for these diseases . . . but you aborted them.”

Can someone find the reference to this statement? Where exactly this is written? I am ignorant of knowing such saying.

[quote sum]I just want things to have the optimum chances of success in means that i can agree with that i can feel is still myself or id want to not live here because what is the point of life if i am living nothing but other peoples lives and decisions [/quote]

This is the wisest statement I heard from you sum and it really “sum”s it up what you need to focus on and the most important thing: even when you feel hopeless YOU have CHOICES. Choices of giving up or moving on. IT IS TOTALLY UP TO YOU what you choose. People can tell you many things but at the end the decision is yours. I think michele said it here. So make a decision alone. YOU CAN DO IT!